is there a way to get over my fear?

Question

ive been terrifed of spiders 4 as long as i remember. I've had so many spiders this year, and have asked ?'s on here about them. does any1 know how i would go about getting aversion therapy here in the uk? at the moment its taking over my life, i watch tv in my room as im scared of them running across my living room floor( as they do quite reglarly). I know there is no foolproof way of getting shut of spiders, so i need to lose the fear. any 1 know how to go about this in the uk!?

would my doc take me seriously if i went to him?the only way i can stay downstairs after 9 pm is to drink a bottle of wine! (im not an alcy- most nights i just go to bed)

Answer 1

Firstly, WELL DONE for trying to overcome your fears-this will help your character to grow immensely and give you a great boost of self-esteem and confidence, when and if you succeed!

I used to have a phobia of spiders. Now, I do not. I cured myself of the irrational fear I had. It had the effect of boosting my self-confidence and allowing me to realise that anything is possible, should one put their mind to it.

The first time it all changed, I had come home fairly drunk with a mate and, whilst passing the bathroom, noticed a fairly large spider trapped in the bath. Now I have never liked killing them, as I consider all life to have worth. Without really thinking(that was the key), I just picked it up and tossed it out of the open bathroom window! As soon as I had done that...I realised what I had just done and the common feeling of repulsion, fear and horror swept over me! I was amazed that I had just done that, but nevertheless, the feelings washed through me still, albeit after the event(thank you alcohol, lol).

I came to the conclusion that if I could do something like that drunk, I MUST be able to do similar when sober! It was all down to simply not thinking about what I was doing-blocking the thought until AFTER the event!

Suffice to say, it worked. It took a while and a little courage, but each time I picked up a spider to put it outside, thinking of what I was doing AFTER I did it, the feelings of revulsion got less and less until now, I can confidently pick up spiders without feeling any shudders, fear, or the like. I admit, if it is a particularly large one, I still need to employ the technique of not thinking of what I'm doing until after I've done it, but for me, this works wonderfully.
I even talk to the spiders, as if they can understand me, as this seems to help psychologically also, perhaps creating the temporary sense that they are not quite as "alien" to me. The fact they are always scared of me helps too, as it gives me a reason to treat them with respect and gentleness.
I still don't feel completely happy about examining one up close when in my hand, as they to me, are still ugly lil' critters, but as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to be honest, they are good in catching flies which spread diseases!

I wish you the very best of luck!!

:)

Answer 2

Do see your GP and make sure that you communicate the fact that it is negatively affecting your life! Hypnosis is a possibility but doesn't work for everyone. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) could be a way to overcome your fear but you'll have to ask your GP more about that. There is a book called 'Mind Over Mood' which might have some interesting insights for you. NLP Neuro-linguistic programming has been quite fashionable for a while though I don't know if it is applicable. I myself have been into Buddhist Meditation for years and over time, this can root out anything!

Most of all a spider is totally harmless and, lets face it, TINY, compared with us lumbering beasts! Phobias are not real as you know and spiders have every reason to be more scared of us!

Good luck!

Answer 3

Don't go to a doctor or anything! Maybe instead of worrying about where they are, you could make use of the time you spend worrying about them cleaning out your living room or where ever you are scared they'll be. If you try and regulary make a habit of cleaning out a room you will obviously decrease the amount of cobwebs and dust and therefore the amount of spiders should also be less. Get a friend to help you so then if there are any spiders they can get rid of them! Then if you are still paranoid just make a habit of checking a room for spiders i.e-under sofas etc......before you go in it, then it will hopefully make you feel better that there aren't any near where you will be. I think you should try to deal with your fear even though its hard because actually its not that big a fear to overcome even though you might not realise it. I think just be really organised with your stuff in general then you will be able to see in places more easily and just make a habit of checking them regulary for any cobwebs. Thats my suggestion anyway, hope you can try it and hope you get over your fear soon! Try and do it without therapy because I'm sure you can do it by just thinking systematically about ways of dealing with your fear, like I suggested, just by cleaning in all the knocks and cranys!
Melissaxx

Answer 4

Michelle,

You all ready have an aversion, of spiders! You have a very common phobia, if not somewhat irrational. Your G.P should take your fear of spiders seriously and they can refer you to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist that will teach you a simple systematic desensitisation technique.

Need any more help try contacting The Maudsley Hospital, they specialise in phobias.

Have the greatest of days,

James.

Answer 5

You actually have more power than you realize. It's perfectly okay to be afraid, you know. There is a little experiment you can do to prove to yourself who is really scared here, you or the spider. Get as close as you dare to one and tap gently with one of your fingers on the surface where the spider is, to send a vibration to the spider, and watch what happens. That little spider will do everything it can to run away from you. Can you imagine how big you look to the spider? My God, you are probably taller than five feet and look gigantic to that little spider, wouldn't you run as fast as you could in the other direction? That spider is only trying its best to get away from you, and if you give her a chance she will run as fast as she can and your problem will be solved. Whenever a spider bothers you or makes you feel troubled, stamp your foot and watch it run away from you. You don't even have to say anything! Fear can be real, but if you want to talk fear, think about what is going on inside that little spider's brain when it senses that vibration you caused. To us it was a gentle tapping, but to that little spider - well, for her, it was a tsunami! Run! Help! Run for your life!!! All that little spider is doing is trying to get away from you so she can stay alive. Experiment with a stick if you think I am kidding you. Use a wooden yardstick, for example. You might have one in your sewing room. Or where you keep hardware in your home. Tap on the floor anywhere within two feet of that spider. It has eight eyes and they are all trained on what you are going to do next! Give that poor little spider her chance to make a getaway. I hope this will bring a little bit of perspective to what must have been a very uncomfortable feeling you have had. As with any fear inside us, the more you are willing to talk about it, admit to it, deal with it and experiment with it a little bit, the quicker you will be back in charge of what happens instead of a helpless little spider you could carry on the tip of just one of your fingers. Why, this morning, I was washing our bathroom windows and had to stop everything while I used a piece of paper stock to allow a spider to crawl up onto it so I could shake it out the window. No self respecting spider wants to be stuck in the house with all the autumn leaves turning such pretty colours! Sent with good energies and the hope your fear and dread of our little friends will soon pass, I am Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old.)

Answer 6

You need to do your own aversion therapy. If you are determined to get over it, you need to just do it. Next time you see a spider, you pick it up. You don't need to pay a doctor or a clinic for exactly the same treatment though it would be handy if you had a friend with you to make sure you did it.

Answer 7

what you need is something called immersion therapy. Go immerse yourself in a place that has alot of spiders and then after a while, you'll get used to them and see that in most cases, they won't bother you if you don't bother them. I live on a tropical island which equlas lots of bugs and lots of spiders and now when i see them, it doens't faze me..unless it's the really huge kind, but even then, they don't bother you.

Answer 8

spiders dont like citrus, trust me, they dont, so spray your walls lightly with diluted lemon juice in water.

go and buy some welding gloves and a long handled dustpan and brush.sweep them up and deposuit them outside, give him, or her (how do you sex a spider) a stern talking to, and tell them not to bring their friends to party at your house.

its an irrational fear, and only exposure to spidey will help you overcome it. dont squish em, its not neccesary... now if it were cockroaches itd be a different kettle of fish... ill deal with your spiders if you odeal with cockroaches..ooh even typing the word makes me shiver.. i once had a very bad experience with about 3 thousand of them... i was fixing a steam leak, ilifted a piece of old sacking..arrggghhh quadzillions of them..did yuo know that live steam at 150, 160degrees doesnt kill them, and they can survive a nuclear blast... now thats something to be afraid of...

Answer 9

BE BRAVE! go out and buy an insect trap which you can easily use and put your spiders outside.
I just kill them..
You could see a dr for advice if you get any worse.

Answer 10

Try to remember the spider is terrified of you too and wishes you would go away