My divorce was final last june.We do have a child together I am from another country and during the mediation he agreed to let me bring my child to see my family for a month,once a year,well today he told me the if the child can not see his mother he will stop me to do so.Should go to a lawyer?
2006-09-19 11:52:13 · 20 answers · asked by S. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want deny to my child to have a relationship with his father,but if his father can not realize the parents should watch for their kids sake and safety,I don't know what else to do.I being question myself about all situation and I realized the every good mother would do same thing.I love my child.
2006-09-19 11:57:15 · update #1
well she being investigated for some stuff my child disclosed to me,the pediatrician and a specialist in child abuse.He is too young to testify in court,they think the case would not be strong enough for a criminal court,but they told me: we can not prove the happened and we can not prove it didn't happened,this don't mean we don't beleive you (detective words).They suggested me to go to a civil court.
2006-09-19 12:00:03 · update #2
We live in different state and I would not be able to know for sure where is going to bring my child.Last time he tried to trick me and then he losted over the phone and told me the truth,he was planning to bring my child to see his mother.Social services been involved since the beginning,but they really didn't anything,report the fact to the police,after that anything else.They almost lost my case,I think i made almost 100 phone calls one day.After two months still there was not investigation,so I called everywhere.In two hours they finally had the investigation started.I called everybody,i think that day i didn't call only the President.
2006-09-19 12:12:45 · update #3
Arthur W thank you for your answer,but if the law say the i have to send my child to a person the can harm him,because I can not prove it,that's crazy.My child told two professional doctors what happened ,but of course he does not have any evidence of abuse on his body.Now,he is not able to testify because too young,but nobody can't prove it happened or didn't happened,but in doubts should I let my child go there and let him being abused again because of the law? That's insane and scary
2006-09-19 12:45:43 · update #4
Yes, I'm sorry to tell you that you should talk to an attorney. You will have a say regarding your ex's desire to have your child around his mother (as long as she is under investigation or has been convicted of child molestation). The safety of your child is paramount.
He will have a say in your ability to take the child out of the country. If he has already agreed to permit that (in your custody papers), he can't just revoke it without cause.
btw, his harrassment is not acceptable to any court and will be a side subject to address on your behalf.
2006-09-19 12:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by AnInquiringMind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. As soon as possible.
Write down as much as you can remember about the things he has said (dates & times, his words, his tone, any threats, etc.) Also try to document the last time he visited your child.
That his mother is under investigation is a big factor - at the least, your lawyer and the family court judge will take much more interest in the welfare of your child and they should be able to restrict when & where your child can go to visit.
Your lawyer might even be able to change the visitation rights - since your ex- hasn't visited in 5 months, that's an indication he doesn't want to be a consistent parent.
Go to a county-provided lawyer or legal-aide group if you don't have enough $ to afford your own.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 18:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget civil court as you will have the same problem of proving something happened there too. If the state is unwilling to file charges against her, youre basically stuck in a catch 22 situation where without a case, you basically have no reason for your child not to see his grandmother and in fact, your ex could take you back to court for neglecting his visitation rights as defined in the divorce decree. So as much as you hate it, you will have to let your son visit his dad or risk losing custody because of it. But now when your son returns from visiting his dad,check for abuse signs and listen to what your son says and keep a detailed diary of everything especially how he was when he came home, especially if hes crying and not himself. You may have a case later on and will need all the proof you can get. If possible have a friend there when he gets home to witness your sons actions. Just remember you have to have concrete evidence before you accuse someone of something especially child abuse. Sorry I dont have a better answer for you but the law is the law whether we agree with it or not. Good luck
2006-09-19 19:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEFINITELY get legal counsel, but see if you can find a lawyer who speaks your native language. It will help you more in the long run.
As for your ex-husband's demands that your child be allowed to visit with him and the (alleged) molesting grandmother, INSIST that you be present on these visits. If you have to bring the police in, do so.
I don't think he can stop you from seeing your family, but he can stop you from leaving the country to do so. You would be considered a flight risk, especially if you're taking your child.
Whatever you do, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY while you're in the middle of this. Stay until this thing is resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
Let us know how it ends. Good luck.
2006-09-19 19:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his mother is under investigation for child molestation, you do have a right not to have your child be at his mothers residence until the investigation is resolved.
Seek the advice of an attorney, and have the attorney send the bill to your ex-husband. He will think twice before demanding anything again.
2006-09-19 19:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by festus_porkchop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie-Even if he shows up with the police, he cannot take the child. Been there, done that. At this point you can basically do what you want until he gets a lawyer and forces you to do something different. But please call a lawyer to confirm everything. Don't take our word for it.
And I am with you for the grandmother. You have to do whatever it takes to protect your child, regardless of the law. This is the real world. If something happens it could be devastating.
So sorry to hear about your problems. I will be thinking of you.
2006-09-19 18:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by Kelli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot afford to be nice to him when your child's safety is at stake. He is just as sick as his mother. He could careless about his kid and maybe he wants the kid for his mother to molest him again. This man, no, animal is sick.
You need to get an attorney now and set up another meeting with the police reports and deny him visitations due the safety of your child.
Your child comes first, please get an attorney if not today tomorrow morning first thing also, when you wake up get your phone book out and look up the County Childrens Services department and report your husband to them. Tell them what he is doing. Let them know that he is deliberetly trying to endager your child. They need to know this and they will help you as well as an attorney.
You cannot allow your child to be molested again. Your child depends on your for its safety. Don't let him down.
GET AN ATTORNEY NOW AND CALL CHILDRENS SERVICES AND THE POLICE TOO. I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE ORIGINALLY FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY YOUR CHILD HAS A RIGHT TO HIS SAFETY.
2006-09-19 19:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by Martin M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
umm..immediately. sweetie u may be from another country but u should know to go right away. Are you saying his mom is malesting your child? If so, you shouldn't care if he shows up with the police, you would win the case! You need to go to someone quickly because he is harassing you. I am so sorry to hear this is happening, again! This needs to stop all over America, starting with you. Yes, you should get police first and then ask for a lawyer from them, they would know who to call. Please make sure this is immediately stopped, I would hate to know you would have to live like this the rest of your life. I will pray for you every day. God Bless You.
2006-09-19 18:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by roxy angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best to take your son with you and someone else who is much stronger than you when visiting your husband's mother. If he wants his son only then it had to be in a public place. Like restaurant or park. Make sure that social workers know what's going on and always inform them the date your son visiting his grand mother. It is advisable to inform the police the situation and arrange to see a Lawyer to cover any troubles.
2006-09-19 19:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by shiningstar2808 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to child protection services and see if you can get a restraining order against the mother until her trial. Talk to them they can point you in the right direction for getting what you need.
I hope this helps
Don't let him intimidate you, record all of your conversations or at least keep a note book near the phone and write down everything he says, don't forget the date and time.
2006-09-19 19:00:39 · answer #10 · answered by knujefp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋