How can I get her off my back {so called wife}?

Question

We are recently seperated. But she makes me so misrable she all ways wants it her way and if I choose otherwise she tends to threatin me.We have a 7 year old son and its hard for me to have a relationship with him becuase of her.I can't stand her attitude its allway in a negative mood{like allways sceaming or naging}.well just last night she was trying to hert my feelings threatning that she is going to f*** some other guy.Becuase I would'nt stay with her. So what do you think how do I get this psycopath off my back? She calls me regarless even if I tell her to stop calling me.

Answer 1

There's nothing you can do about her behavior. she's very childish. She's trying to control you. She'll probably end up using your son to control you in the end. anyways, let her go. If she keeps saying she's do other guys to hurt you, let her. You know she won't do it. She's just saying things to hurt you. You need to move on with your life.

Answer 2

Stop and imagine her being in a loving, understanding mood and you being the same way - imagine both of you dropping all your self-insecurities and defensiveness and resentment towards the other person. Imagine both of you being mature adults for your child. Just visualizing it makes you feel better, huh? If you keep doing it, like while you're driving or while you're eating, whenever you think about it, then it will start to come true. Things will start to happen that will push you both in that direction. Just be sure to notice those things- they will be small at first, but you have to appreciate those little moments of non-drama if you want more of those moments to come your way.
Also, have you ever considered that this a great opportunity for you to overcome some obstacles in your life, making you a wiser person, which will help your child? Read, or watch the movie then read, the book What the Bleep Do We Know?!, especially the chapter on Addictions and how we can be addicted to chemicals that are released when we're stressed (cortisol) or made angry. The book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay will then tteach you how to control your mind and your reactions to situations and your addictions to drama. Take responsibility for your life - you are not a victim of your wife and she is not a victim of you. You BOTH attracted one another, and weren't willing to put forth a good enough effort to change things - both of you settled somewhere along the line and quit thinking of new solutions, so now you have OLDproblems that just keep repeating themselves.

Answer 3

Oh Dam if you are seperated does she not know that you are seperated for a reason it sounds like shes playing games and it also sounds to me that you are going to have to file for the divorce so that you can get visitation and have a decent relationship with your son w/out her getting in the way of it and why does she think you care who she spreads her legs for Im sure that at this point from what you say about her and all of her nagging and constant yelling you just want out and you can change the number get a prepaid cell phone and tell her to call only for something concerning your son only that way she wont feel like shes in control be prepared for a war if and when you do start to see other women because if she is a control freak youre going to have problems with her she isnt going to go quietly.With the prepaid cell phone you dont have to answer until you want to or return her calls only when you are ready but never call her from either one of your new numbers only call on the prepaid cell this will stop her dead in her tracks if shes as big of a control freak as you have said she is GLuck

Answer 4

I must confess, the first thing that popped into my mind: How did you treat her when you were together? You can consider marriage counseling if you want to save the marriage, otherwise, I'd recommend divorce, so you can both move on with your lives. It sounds to me like she's hurting an awful lot and needs professional help. If she's threatening you psychically, I'd look into a restraining order. I'd also consider how well she's taking care of the child. Behavior like that in front of a child is always inexcusable and illegal. I've been told by numerous professionals, that fighting in front of the children is grounds for a DCF investigation.but if there's no kids involved, mom & dad can beat the crap outta each other and it's up to them to file charges against the other. Just remember to keep the best interests of your son in mind. He's just an innocent bystander in all this.

Answer 5

Well If I was you I would have let her F*** that other guy (if there is one) that way she would be doing something other then bugging you and maybe have someone else to bother, now if your feeling some kinda way that she maybe seeing someone else then maybe you need to look at you may still have some feelings for her if not let her do what she wants and let her know you will do the same. The best thing I think is to let her find someone else to take up her time maybe you should even offer to spend some quality time with your son so she can get have some fun.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

She has lot of issues and none are good. Since you have a son and you cant really have a relationship with him because of her you need to ignore her all you can . She is playing you and wants you to feel guilty because you left her. Even if you don't mean it or never would do these things . tell her you are calling a DR. a psychiatrist and that she needs help. and you will take your son away . maybe by telling her that she will leave you alone. There are ways to be with your son with out her being there.

Answer 7

Why did you separate, because she makes you miserable?
Did you ever think her irritability was caused by you? I'm not pointing the finger, just merely suggesting that perhaps she became so angry and frustrated because you weren't expressing your feelings or making her feel loved.
If a woman feels loved, she doesn't feel the need to nag. I know this because I am a woman. When I was in relationships with guys that said I love you but didn't show it, I felt insecure and ended up picking fights with them. I am now engaged with an amazing guy that shows his affection rather then just saying the words I love you and we hardly fight (and when we do it's over minor things and usually started by him).
I think the two of you should seek marriage counseling. You both need to work on your marriage since you're not divorced. Also, it is essential that you get professional help because it will soon start effecting your son. Hopefully, by seeking help, the two of you can compromise and work together in a committed and loving marriage.

Answer 8

For the child's sake, you need family counseling. Your son is old enough to know what is going on between his parents.
She is being irrational and unfair to not only your son, but you. She is trying to control you by threatening you, she is manipulative. You need to divorce and if she doesn't sign the papers , you need to serve her with them. That way she is obligated to sign.
A court order for a custody agreement sounds appropriate as well. You have just as much of a right to your son as she does.


I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, there are better fish in the sea, I promise!

Answer 9

If you aren't legally separated, talking to a lawyer would be a good idea. Until there is a court document that lists her responsibilities and yours, you are at the mercy of whatever she decides to dish out.

And if you've told her to stop calling you, your lawyer may suggest a restraining order. In any case, you need some legal protection for your sake and that of your son.

Answer 10

Dont fight back.
I know how difficult this sounds, but shes looking for a reaction. Shes trying to hurt you with all she has. If you react, you are giving her basically what she wants. Ignore her, pretend shes not there when she gets like that. Simply walk away or leave the house. Since you do have a son, I would probably get court ordered visitation rights before she starts using him to get at you.

Answer 11

Dont answer the calls, hang up if she calls from a different phone, and if it comes down to it, tell her she can only contact you by email and only if it regards your son. good luck and be prepared for her filling your sons head with a ton of crap. i would sit him down to and explain that mommy and daddy are going through a rough time and your not sure what the outcome is going to be and that mommy may tell him things about daddy that arent true but he can ask you any questions he needs to.