Am I just confused???

Question

Hi all, I need help because I am at a crossroad here. I have a boyfriend that I have been in an intimate relationship over 2 years.
I think I found my husband, no I know I found him. But we are having problems in the friend department. I have some friends that I have been cool with for a yearor so....my co-workers.
I am glad were are friends because I really didnt have too many.
We hang alot and have fun. But my boyfriend is from my hometown but he works out of state but not too far because we can drive back and forth to see each other, which we have. But he doesnt like the fact that my friends are single and they go out alot he thinks they dont respect our relationship, he doesnt mind us goin out but he doesnt like that we go bar-hopping, he says we should do something else. Because of his work I see him 2 or 3 times a month. I dont like how he wants all of my attention when he comes home even if I want to do something with my friends.

He thinks that my girls should understand that I am in a relationship and that I shouldnt do certain things that they do because they are single. I agree but I like my friends and he seems a bit controlling or are his request just things I should be abiding by? To sum it up he feels he should be put first before my friends because we are in a serious relationship.
What should I do?

Answer 1

He doesn't trust you. Either you did something to earn his distrust, or he is immature and insecure.

Answer 2

The green eyed monster, Jealousy has entered your relationship. Your boyfriend doesnt really trust you fully and is letting his mind run rampid with imagination. Hes thinking youre having more fun than when youre with him and doesnt like it. His feelings are probably unfounded unless youve given him reason to think so. He is trying to control your life when you two are apart, but when in reality, although he doesnt realize it, hes driving a wedge between you two. Other then giving into his demands/wishes there really isnt much you can do to change his thinking. Of course you can marry him and move in with him and lose all your friends and dignity at this point in time but that wont help anything. You can have a talk with him but hell just agree to everything you say until you two are apart. He ll just have to grow up and face the fact that youre a human being and have a life too or a marriage between you two will never work. Good luck

Answer 3

Since the two of you don't get to spend a lot of time together, when you can be together, you attention should be all on him.
Don't even mention your friends. He should be your first priority when you are together. When you can't be together, then you can go out and do as you want with your friends.
He probably doesn't like you going bar hopping because, he thinks you may find another man or even a one nighter. Let him know, if he asks that you are just there to be with your friends because you can't be with him, and if he were there you would be with him instead of him.
When he is around, show him how much you have missed him, and put your friends on the back burner. If they are real friends they will understand.

Answer 4

Just because you go out doesn't mean that you are looking for somebody else. But he is right about wanting your time when you guys see each other. I mean you guys only limited time together.
Going out with single friends can cause problems. When I first got married my friends always wanted to go to clubs and stuff. I was not interested because to me clubs are just a bunch of bumping and grinding, not good. I understand where he is coming from, but he needs to also understand that even if your friends are single, doesn't mean that you are going to follow them and their actions.