I've had this quesiton for six years this is worth answering?

Question

I wouldn't bother asking a bunch of strangers if I wasn't in deep **** or really desperate I'm 15 and iv had this friend (16) since i moved to this little crap town when i was 8 i would tell you the name of it but you'd probably say where? in small towns were all really tight and we were like the brother and sister type until i lost my virginity with him now where not like the brother sister relationship anymore so im not going to listen to anyone who tells me to give up on him it started when his mom died of cancer when he was 9 and his dad got into alcohol which didn't help anything when i was about 10 anyone with common sense could tell something was a little ****** up in that house but cause i was ten i was scared and i didn't want to know because it was so much easier to pretend that everything was fine with him than the marks got deeper and wider and i still avoided it he knew i knew about it but he didn't want me to say anything last night was when i couldn't avoid anything anymore we had a party at his house and things got broke like at all parties but i know that he really got it cause the alcohol was gone i knew he was going to get into trouble but i didn't know he was going to be in the emergency room his dad said he fell down the stairs you can tell his dad said that only a drunk man would say that when corey had marks from a metal pole and a belt falling down the stairs doesn't do that to you but the hospital looked past it because his dad was the one that called the ambulance when we got older he would stay at everyone else's house so he wouldn't get hit but he was drunk when his dad hit him and he couldn't really go anywhere far i figured everything was okay because he wasn't ever home and he would always fight back so 6 years later i finally ask him about it but i didn't really want to hear his sober answer he was always somehow more honest when he was drunk i told him that he has to go live somewhere else that didn't make him to happy because he had big plans and that would **** it up for him so started he screaming and yelling nothing new the worst thing i couldve said to him was corey your just like your ******* dad and he hit me that was the only time i swear but he is becoming his dad drunk and abusive he's so much more than his dad he's got goals and he's really funny and athletic and he's finally breaking down there's only so much one person can deal with i told him it was okay when he hit me but he was the one that freaked got in his car and drove somewhere a couple hours from where we live and when they found him he was passed out drunk laughing saying how he was never going to drink again which he said after every party of course i have a lot of questions but now that he's at home again with his dad in the house waiting for him to be conscious i gota no what the hell do i do now ?il do anything but bail on him

Answer 1

that story brought a tear to my eye. its a very similar story to mine with me being like him. my dad is an abusive drunk - not physical but very much emotional to our family. i always acted the tough guy and bottled it all up until a big release when i was very drunk. luckily for me i was with 2 very good friends who made me feel loved, needed and wanted and that they would always be there for me. i sobbed to them like a baby and if anything they like and respect me more for sharing with them. it helped me SO much. Your guy sounds like he is deeply hurt by what he has done to you, pushing you away by hitting you protected him from looking weak and for someone abused that is incredibley important. Your choice is either to share everything with him be with him all the time and keep him from getting into drunken rages especially involving his father. Or second option is to be a good friend let him know you love him and forgive him(this once ONLY) and that you will be there for him always. the first option would require a massively strong woman and could cause you much hurt my mum tried and she has suffered but she is still trying and still believing.
i sincerely hope you guys find peace and happiness you deserve it.

Answer 2

it sounds like the guy has really had it rough. the hospital sure did not do their job. this so called dad is no dad to begin with. if you really care about this young man ask him to get help. if all he knows in a family life is drinking and hitting, he will have a rough road and if you are in the road you could get hurt. has it crossed your mind IF you two should ever have children? would you want that in your home? give it lots of serious thought. good luck

Answer 3

sometimes lontime friend become like family. since u made love with him, there is a connection. he definitely doesnt feel the same level of deep love for you. he is obviously immaturly hurt by his situation. so he drinks his sorrows away..typical white trash small own immaturity act that happens in this country.
yes u can continue be there....let him have fun looking to get 2 jobs to keep busy. his dad is no help.....good luck

Answer 4

if you're sure he's a good guy, then try to remind him of his goals and hopes in this life, also try to show him that you care about him,
and i dont know if you can do this, but try to tell him by somehow that he is not like his father, this is very important
you would also find a common hoppy that you can practice together, in that way he wont be thinking how to waste his time drinking too much and thinking about his bad life,

and good luck,,,

Answer 5

all you can do is be there for him a listen to him but I would try and put some distance as far as sex goes you do not wont to spend your life married to or with an abusliv man

Answer 6

you are in a tough spot but once a man hits you he will always hit you. he needs help professional help if he does not get it you have no future.