I am a 33 year mother of 2 small kids who has been in a very verbally/ emotionally abusive relationship for 12 yrs, married 8. I have done everything within my power to keep our marriage together but I realize that I can't change him and he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong for him to change. He won't go to counseling with me and he keeps saying that everything is my fault and I've been a curse in his life( because i do try and stand up for myself). We are currently living together in our home which is 5 months behind on mtg. He brings home $1,000 a wk. and gives me $50 to $60 a wk. for "allowance". Mind you, I have to buy my own food and gas etc., out of that. He calls me horrible names, screams in my face and puts his "people" before me in everything. He says that he won't give me a dime more until the court makes him pay me. He bought the kids 2 cheap *** outfits for school and buys expensive things for himself. u know why he won't file, but when I do i don't want guilt.
2006-09-19 11:14:45 · 7 answers · asked by Veronique 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my sweetie! Get out. Don't look back.
I just got done with this. I am 33, mother of 3. IT WAS HARD... but very worth it.
He will try ANYTHING to make your life miserable... but you have to be strong sweetie... you can do it!
Pray... get help from friends...
get out!
2006-09-19 11:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Use my Yahoo! Avatar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YES YES and let me tell you it was the absolute BEST thing I could have ever done for my 3 children.We lived together for 12 LONG LONG years and married for 7 of those years.I did everything in my power as well.He was not verbally or emotionally abusive but he was addicted to gambling and drinking...They all are bad.I was never able to stay at home cus i always had to work ..since he always lost all of his paycheck.I would always tell someone thinking about divorce if the situation is bad and you are not happy inside and out....then LEAVE.. you only get one chance here on earth and don't make the mistake of staying unhappy for the sake of the kids... it might be hard on them at first but in the long run they will thank you for it. The reason he does not to file is $$$$ it will cost him a whole lot more than 250. a month in support. If you are not working you can get help for the cost of the divorce though the programs the city has. What ever you do don't feel guilty about it at all. You need to make yourself and your kids happy.
2006-09-19 11:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by diver deb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been emotionally abuse for so long you probably think it is your fault, which in turn it isn't. You deserve better then that, and so does your children, I have been divorce and it felt as if I was a failure, that I couldn't make it work, but through help I realize leaving him was the best thing. You are going to go through self doubt but in the long run you will realize that you are a better person when you left. All I can say the day I left my ex my life turned better. You will also realize that being with him isn't what you want in a relationship, believe or not this will make you strong. Keep the faith, and be strong!
2006-09-19 11:23:26 · answer #3 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced when I was 2 months old. He actually sounds a lot like your husband, really. He basically told my mom that he wanted to stay married but just live their own lives. Weird. He lied a lot and would say he would change and then never would. He didn't pay child support (which was only $150/month for 2 kids) for the first 7 or 8 years they were divorced, then he got remarried and she made sure he paid it for about 3 years. And it was upped to $350. He wasn't quite as abusive as yours sounds but they seem to have some similarities.
My mom always says if she had to go though 6 years of hell being married to my dad just to get us to girls it was worth it. My mom also said it was hard, but she would rather have that hard while rather than the rest of her life being awful.
2006-09-19 12:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your marraige is over,so you may as well get started.get a lawyer,and tell him you want your spouse to pay all attorney fees.you have 2 children,and at 1000,00 per week,i would guesstimate you could receive about 900-1000 per month child support.you may also consider spousal support.in my state the rule of thumb is 1 year for every 4 years of marraige.i am of course assuming you do not work.calculations are based on both parties income.once he sees you mean business,you will be able to humble his nasty self.no one needs to put up with this in their life....good luck
2006-09-19 11:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by shookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case I believe in divorce. You are young and there is someone out there that will appreciate you!! Stop being abused.
2006-09-19 11:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move, File, and start living you life! Very similar situtation and I did just that...and sooooo much happier...as are my children!
2006-09-19 11:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋