I think I've met the man of my dreams. He's about 17 years older than me. Any words of advise?

Question

I'm 21 and he is 37. I can see myself with this man for the rest of my life.

Answer 1

Love him, respect him, and expect the same in return. Remember to work on the marriage at least weekly and sometimes daily to improve it and maintain it.

Answer 2

Age has nothing to do with anything. He will get old but so will you. Desire doesnt dwindle with age...I am 52 and still feel 19. It is in your attitude, not the years. I am in love with a 55 year old man who is absolutely fantastic. He doesnt look 55, nor does he act it. He could run rings around men half his age, and I am not just talking through my hat either....I lived with a guy who was 17 years younger than me for 5 years, and this man didnt have half the stamina my 55 year old love has.

There are a lot of men out there in their 50s whos needs are not being met at home...they are lonely and unfullfilled....they are looking for the excitement of life again. Their women have lost their sexual urges...the intimacy has gone. Women more than men, it seems, lose their sex drive long before a man does.

So if youre worried about the age because he may get too old to meet your needs, then dont....it may be you who tires of it first.

May I also say this man I am in love with may end up in a wheelchair because of injuries he received in a mining accident. I love him so much I couldnt care less....if that happens, then his wheels will only be an extension of him, and he is a wonderful man.

If this man meets your needs and you love him then there is nothing you two cannot achieve. There is no obstacle two people who really love each other cannot hurdle. If you love this man then the age has nothing to do with it.

Be happy, and if he makes you happy, then you dont have a thing to worry about.

Answer 3

I have been married for 20 yrs and I was 21 and he was 35. I didn't have much choice, but you hopefully do. Here's what you can expect... the gap seems smaller or even insignificant when you are 21 and he is 37. But when you are 37, he will be 53 or 54. The gap will widen a lot more as you evolve. If you have kids together, he will likely be too tired to be involved with them. I hate to sound pessimistic, but enjoy it while you can...just don't expect the passion to last.

Answer 4

The chances of staying married are statistically against you. You may not think the age difference matters, but speaking from experience I can tell you it does. Think about it. You'll still be in your prime in your 40s and 50s and he'll be an old man. Are you prepared to take care of him in his old age? If neither of you has a lot of money, will you want to take care of him if he becomes incontinent (can't use the bathroom anymore), or has a stroke and can't speak or move very well? Will you want to give up sex if he ends up with high blood pressure and has to go on medication? The medication prevents men from achieving an erection. They need viagra and the prescription is extremely expensive. Will you want to sit at home instead of having an active social life when he's in his 40s and older because he can no longer keep up with an active evening social life? Will you want to repeat everything you say two and three times over because he loses his hearing in his 50s or 60s? How will you feel when he starts falling asleep in his chair, whether at home or in public, because he stayed up too late the night before? It's hard enough for someone his own age to deal with these realities, but I predict you will resent the whole situation when you are still young and vital and he can't keep up with you. If you go ahead with this, don't fool yourself by romanticizing the situation. How great for him that he can have such a young wife to take care of him when he's old. My advice is that you make sure he has a good insurance policy so you don't have to struggle when he dies and you're left alone with no job prospects when you're in your 50's. Make sure he has the money to afford in-home care if he becomes incapacitated in any way so the entire burden doesn't fall on you. You'll become very tired and weary, and that will definitely make you old before your time.

Answer 5

What is wrong with him? You have to wonder why a 37 year old man would want to be with a 21 year old girl. My friend went through the same thing. She was 21 and dated a 36 year old. Remember the two of you are in totally differend times in your life. Your're young, going to the bars, probably in school. He, has been there done that and is OLD. Don't do it. What would your parents think? It wont work 100%

Answer 6

Age is nothing when it comes to love, just when it is an older man and younger woman, the older man tends to show more jealousy. It may not show while you are dating, but can definately turn after you're married.

You should be able to tell by your relationship now. How he acts when you around people of your age, or trying to control you...

Love is a blessed thing and if you think you have truly found it, best of luck to you both!

Answer 7

I've always thought of it this way, when it comes to older guys: Is there one out there that's my age that has the same maturity level as this older guy that I like? Because if I find that guy, then he's much more impressive than a guy almost twice his age with the same maturity level. And they do exist - I am 21 and have a 21 year old boyfriend who is just as responsible as I am, just as motivated, intelligent, loving, caring, and just as committed as I am. Doesn't it just seem awesome to have someone that's TRULY on your level? Someone that will be sharing learning experiences with you instead of someone who deep down always holds your lack of experiences over your head in all decision-making or fights? My parents were 10 years apart when they got married, and the disrespect from my Dad's end has never really faded. He looked at her as young then and it materializes in different ways now, 34 years later.

Seriously Visualize yourself with someone that's like him, but closer to your age - it'll be worth it in the long run, especially if you desire to have kids (think: old dad who is stuck in his ways vs. young mom who is more open-minded).

Answer 8

enjoy getting to know him a lot better, and don't preconceive your future with him, take your time and let the relationship go where it will. chronological age should be irrelevant, but that's not always the case. you are 1 generation apart, and may have different short term and long term goals, before you lose your heart to this man make sure each of you understand where the other stands. good luck in the near and distant future with this relationship.

Answer 9

Just go for it - I can't be with my life experience with older woman
Must be be minimum 17 years younger then me. The young boys only can give you baby before they leave for younger woman. I'm not joules or possessive I love my freedom and I respect others. Happiness is what every one wants in own life.

Answer 10

As long as he is not married and the two of you have shared interest in common, why not? It's hard enough to find the person of your dreams, don't limit yourself to an age (or race.) Just don't step over anyone else's toes while you're going for it. Pay back can be a **bleep!**