i love him with all my heart, but i cant understand the attitude he has. he is having home tuition at the moment because his behaviour in school is so bad they refuse to have him there. we have tried everything we can but nothing seems to work. if we ground him he goes out anyway, and he has just come home tonight after being told he cant go out telling me that he hates me and he wants to go into a home. it breaks my heart when he is like this, i have tried talking to him but nothing works.
2006-09-19 10:55:14 · 16 answers · asked by taryn3piper 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he is in the raf cadets at the moment, i thought it would have helped but no it hasnt... have tried taking him for counselling but he refuses to speak to them.
2006-09-19 11:02:59 · update #1
Sorry to hear that. To be honest there is no real answer why people do what they do and act how they act. Psychologists can hypothesise but thats it. Having worked with lots of young people with problems i know that its not always the case of "i blame the parents." I have noticed that most young men who act out, like how you described you son is doing, will generally only respond well to a non authority based male role model(ie, cousin, friend) or to a grandparent.
Not knowing him myself i wouldn't garauntee it working but you could try sitting him down and making a list of things he wants from you and you want from him and trading off. you have nothing to lose if he does it anyway. If he accepts some of your requests such as calling you when he is out very hour to check in you may find yourslef with piece of mind.
Remember what ever you try to do, it is imposible to beat a child in an argument FACT!
2006-09-19 11:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by Adam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This story just breaks my heart. I have a 3 yr old son and that is my worst nightmare. What happened? When did the change occur? What crowd is he hanging out with? Could he possibly be using drugs?
I know that this is not an answer, but my heart goes out to you.
Good luck!
2006-09-19 10:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tonya L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It´s never too late for an old fashioned spanking. You should have done it a couple of years ago. And some severe punishment. No money, no calls, no Nintendo, no anything except food until he learns who is in charge. Give hime the silent treatment.
2006-09-19 11:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by camp1971 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him but contact the Army National guard and look up there youth programs ... there like boot camp but help your son alot more than hurt him
2006-09-19 10:58:15 · answer #4 · answered by ctuagentbauer330 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wish 2 no more details coz there is some underlying root cause.get his psychoanalysis done.luv is not sufficient to get his love.remind urself how much time u devoted to him since his birth/ is there ne sibling jealousy? try 2 gain his confidence ,devote him more time, make him realise u luv him, u care 4 him.
2006-09-19 11:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by jugnu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you NEED to take charge! get mad back! tell him he is grounded and if he goes out you will know about it! tell him to go to his room. and tell his dad to stay in front of the door and then you will be out side by his window and if he makes a move then BAM! grounded again! take away all his things till he stops this. and when you feel that it is just to much go out with him and your husband and talk. see whats bothering him so much. tell him that you do care for him and doing all of this for his own good. but remember YOU are the one in contorl! you are his parent and he is your son. you know what is best and he needs to learn that! if you need more help or want me to talk to him to find out why he is so mad then e-mail me at yahoo. i have a very loving mother and i know that she just does whats best for me. my dad is very loving too. i am 14.
2006-09-19 11:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
BOYS ARE VISUAL JUST LIKE MEN. You must be unappealing to his eyes. mothers like u appear on tv talk shows and cry. u r mean and he just doent like u. you can try and chat with him at breakfast table. give kiss on head. instead od demanding, try comanding. something is bothering him. listen to him speak to his friends. share a hot tub together to calm him down . read more on web about this topic. pls no meds.
2006-09-19 11:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick him in a home. He will get a quick awakening and beg to come back.
2006-09-19 11:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by festus_porkchop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should try a military or boarding school and then he will see how good he really had it. You have to do something, if you keep letting him walk all over you and have absolutely no discipline he will end up in jail.
2006-09-19 10:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he's a teenager and he sounds like an angry one at that. try some counselling. get to the root of the problem.
2006-09-19 10:59:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋