can u help me?

Question

I am at a very low point in my life,i am going through a few things with my health.It feels like it is one thing after another with my life at the mo. and also i am fightin my health.turns out iv 2 av op.Work are not been supportive at all which dont help. Things are really gettin 2 me,i have 2 really good friend who have been great,been there supporting me fully.
But what i want to know is how do u get urself back fast?
i am losing me and now want me back.Any ideas.
any honest help would be grateful.
thanks

Answer 1

Firstly sory to hear about yoru curent health problems and you feel low. I am sure most of us have had that sense of malaise at some time.

This is not a "quick fix" thing but temporary!

1. Try o see a counsellor, or your GP who will assist you.It is far from unsual for people to get depressed, especially when they have medical isseus and an operation pending. that is why they train, to help people at these times.

2. Work - If your organisation is lage and has an occupational ehalth or similar roel you may need to speak to them. Check the policies at work regarding sick/pay/etc. Log any comments you belive to be unsupportive/worying at work in a diary.If you think the isseu may get to point of disciplinary you have info, could have an informal chat with union now (if you are in one, if you are not in union I advise join now, they cannot rpresent you on soemthin gthat started befoe you jolined.However, i think that is a side issue, and it is not disciplinary stuff that is worrying you, but fact that your health issues are not being treat seriously by work colleagues who should be supporting you, and not as i suspect making jokes, and being genrally unsympatetic. Just show an interest and concern to them about their issues (be the bigger person), and ensure eveyone is aware of the timescales you will be away, etc.

3. Health - ok you are havin some problems and have to have an operation, good news once had your op and recovery period you should be back to fighting fit! Thinsk of it like school/exams, had to study all the time, did not like school, had curfews because of exams.could no go anywhere etc, but at 18 had your exams, money, could go out and were free. Your current situation is being at school, yourfuture is getting out!!!

.. Things to do

With all this in mind practicalites neded sorting:

hav esome fun buying/choosing pyjama's, slippers, etc to go into hospital with, even a shopping trip with mates to get your stuff all ready 9as if you were off on yoru hols).

Check the fine print on any HP/Insurances etc to see if qualify for any payouts, payment exemptions etc. Make sure Direct debits etc are going to be ok.

Make sure arrangments made to check your place when away etc.

Start to mkake your plans for the future when you are fit, this could be a ten year plan (can be reviewed) based on what is actually achievable e.g. if you decide one of the thigns you want to do is go to memphis and see where Elvis lived it might take 3 years to save (if you want to travel the worl, that can be an objective to be reviewed and timed at year 10 etc. Year 1 you may be able to plan a cheap hol with your mates. Career wise sounds like people you work with aren't your type of peopel so what when you are fit would you like to be doing, what do you ned to do to get there e.g. study, volunteering, etc, how long will it take (put it in the polan, put time in for research on how long things will take).

Finally once you are fighting fit, and stat doing things on yoru plan , people will see you feel good about yoruelf and be atracted to you, more friends (and lovers)!!!

Lots to look forward too, no pain - no gain!!!!!

All the best.

Answer 2

You should really take each day as it comes and take small steps. I was in the same place after an illness four years ago and i lost a lot of friends because of it. You just have to do something fun each day even if it is just taking a walk in the park and seeing how beautiful everything is and taking time to appreciate what you have. Also doing some relaxation and meditation (depending on your faith) will help you to feel calm as it anxiety and fear that makes you feel uncomfortable. I found The reason i was feeling like i was loosing myself is because i felt like I'd lost my social skills. They do come back but it takes time. Sometimes joining something like a book group or an art class or a language class or if you aren't into that even a beauty class. If it all goes wrong tomorrow is another day and you have a chance at a fresh start. Sometimes do things that scare you a bit imagine the worst that could happen and what does is never that scary so you can be proud you achieved something. I really hope this helps and don't give up :-)

Answer 3

I know its hard but try and be positive. You have a really good friend there who will listen and be there for you.

I don't know what operations you need or I might be able to provide a little more reassurance. Just sleep easy knowing what ever operation you need the surgeons would not do it unless it was safe and was going to improve things afterwards.

Workplaces can, alot of the time, be not nice places to be if you have an illness but sometimes it is more your perception of what people think than what is actually the case.
Talk to your boss in confidence if you want. If you are still getting a negative response then see someone like the citizens Advice Bureau to se what can be done.

Either way, good luck and God bless.

I know you'll be answering one of my questions in a few months time

Answer 4

If the question is how to get better quicker. Don't! You have to let these things take time. I know it's hard but I've been there and in the long run you only make it worse. If the question is how to get yourself back because your feeling lost. That's a lot more difficult. Try to reconnect with things that you feel are YOU. I love Robbie Williams so when I start to feel lost I'll listen to his early stuff because that was a time when I was younger,freer, happy and totally myself. I'll watch films like Grease and the Labyrinth because they make me think of sillier times. If you ever kept a diary reading through that is good. Can be somewhat sad and nearly always cringe worthy but it is also you at your most honest (and in biggest denial) May also help to start keeping one. Noting down all these feelings. Often you'll come back to them later and see them differently. Talking with friends and keeping somewhat social will also help. If you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me. Most of all remember you have friends and family who love you dearly xxx

Answer 5

Give yourself the luxury of time, time is great healer and you will hopefully see yourself re-emerging as your health improves. I had the same thing last year when i had severe health problems and I took anti-depressants for a time until i realised I wanted the real ME back. Relax and accept you are having problems and are not yourself but that this like many things in life will pass. Nothing stays the same forever, things that are big issues now will not be big issues forever, good luck and all the best x

Answer 6

firstly forget about work...your health is much more important!!!
have a word with your boss, tell him/her what is wrong with you, and that you have to have a operation, tell them your feeling a little low because of this, its up to them how they react, don't let that bother you, at least you have informed them.
its good you have someone to talk to, but there is no quick fix to get yourself back fast, only you can do that, think about what is really important in your life at the moment and concentrate on that, the rest will somehow fall into place.
put yourself first, if your worried your not putting 100% into anything you do if its work or even the weekly shopping. Go out with your friend and do something you usually wouldn't do, even if it's bowling or ice skating, have a laugh, they say laughter is the best medicine.

Answer 7

first of all forget work, as an employer they have a duty to be supportive if you have health issues, so talk to them and tell them what is wrong, let them know how long you need off after the op. you have 2 good friends, lean on them talk to them i am sure they will help you through it, between you plan something that you all can do when you have recovered from your op. i am sure you will feel better afterwards in the meantime just do things that make you feel good, watch loads of comedy films, that normally works, do things to keep you occupied good luck hope you soon feel better

Answer 8

i know what you mean i just buried my mum and my health since has been crap i am fighting to keep going and i want to get a job and get on with life all i can sugestis that you tro tochange from doctors medication to homeopathic bit do it with the doctors help im asuming you are on medication,conventional medication can make you feel worse there are so many side effects if your not on medicine i would suggest you look at diet and exercise you may be low on some minerals or vitamins you can use suppliments or change your diet but go to a homeopathy outlet for advice first as too much can be as bad as not enough

Answer 9

I understand your frustration,some time we just feel like we are at a dead end point. I think you need to think trough your situation bit buy bit,what is the biggest problem?Work?Love?When you got the problem,then try to work on that particular area.What can you do to improve the situation?Try to work one one thing at a time..Any Small change that makes you feel better is good!Acknowledge the small changes and try to do more step by step. Change takes time,you have to give it time and go through things bit by bit.I suggest that you look into self help cassettes and CD,there are a lot of people who can help you through these kinds of cassettes.I know it wont sol we your problems,but it might help you,Anthony Robins is a motivational speaker that has helped me.Go to a bookstore and have a look,it cant hurt can it?

Answer 10

I was goin through the same recently...except it was with testin for a family brain disease that i was sure i had (huntingtons disease) i tested negitive (the 1st that i know of in my family) anyway,it sounds like u seem some time out from work and any other stresses in ur life right now and just concentrate on U. You obivousily need time to recover from whatever this is and adjust to it.

Takecare

p.s iv always had a hard time with dealing with this disease in my family and have lost soooooo many family members 2 it, i tryed prozac which worked wonders for me.