I have found porn material in his truck,hidding somewhere and I feel unloved and unappreciated and I am not bad looking I don' know whay he does that. I feel very bed , what should I do, I want to live him and value myself since it is not the firs time I found stuff that he is hidding, and we are o.k in the sex, since we have three kids. what should I do?
2006-09-19 10:43:02 · 28 answers · asked by searchingforlight 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Work on your relationship. If you satisfy his needs, he will not look elsewhere.
2006-09-19 10:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOOK AT IT IN A NEW LIGHT!!! Be more positive, turn it around. For example, did you know that men who spend more time away from their significant other have better libidos/sex dives that men who spend a lot of time with them? It's a good thing your husband has that good of a sex drive - take advantage of it! It could be that he doesn't look at porn, he doesn't look at you sexually, and he never wants to have sex. Wouldn't that be AWFUL? Men are very visually stimulated - especially when it comes to sex. So maybe rent a porn for yourself, learn some new tricks from those confident women, and up your own sex drive! Liken it to this: If your husband found you telling your best friend your hardships and leaning on her emotionally, would he get jealous that you aren't coming to him? Nah. As far as he's concerned, she'd taking some responsibility off of him. So the porn is just like that - it's making your job of turning on your husband that much easier. And if you love yourself, why does it matter anyway if someone else loves and appreciates you? You know they SHOULD, right? So what is there, really, to worry about?
Hope any of that helps.
2006-09-19 17:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make to big of a deal out of it. He is just being a man, and he isn't going to be cheating with a video or magazine. Men just like to look, it is normal. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he doesn't find you attractive. Why don't you surprise him some night when the kids aren't around, ask him to watch a movie with you and pop in a porn. You never know, it may spice things up a bit, and he will love you all the more for it!
2006-09-19 17:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree. You are overreacting. Porn is not another women. I don't understand why some women find this a threat. Sexual desire is a constant, and it doesn't end because you are married to someone. It's not taking away from you as you think. I think, that since he is looking at it, to have him stop would make things worse for you. Why not support his intesrest and do it together? If he felt you were more open to it he wouldn't want to hide it from you (and the other things he might be hiding as well). If you decide you don't like it fine, but let him do what he likes. You don't want to be controling. Make sure you rationalize it for what it truly is-pictures-thats all.
2006-09-19 17:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not okay in the sex dept. if he is feeding his needs w/porn. He undoubtedly wants something extra and may be afraid to aproach you with it. Porn is also very addictive so if he has been doing that for a while then it will be really hard habit for him to break. Talk to him about it. Don't take it personal. It's his problem not yours.
2006-09-19 21:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is an addiction that he has to admit before it can change. It is as addictive to some as any drug. My husband struggled w/ this and I do not believe the struggle ever fully leaves..it just has to be controlled. It will get worse if not stopped. Do a google search on this...you will be shocked at how common this addiction is.
2006-09-19 18:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the obvious answer is to confront him.
What about asking if you could watch some of the movies with him? I mean don't make it a regular habit, but perhaps in the long run he will cut down on watching that stuff.
2006-09-23 10:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by L.A. Scene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can't have that stuff in the house the kids will get to it so he keeps it in the truck. Dont worry. Would u rather find some other woman's clothes in his truck. Give him a break he might actually learn some new positions to use on you.
2006-09-19 17:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by jercha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think porn is cheating. Some people after so many years of marriage need something to keep the sex going in the relationship and maybe this stimulates your husband to be active with you.
Maybe you are over reacting.
2006-09-19 17:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
So having 3 kids means that the sex is okay? That means you've had sex only three times right?
Forget it. Porn is okay. For all you know it may be enhancing your sex life. Now...if he asks you about 3-somes or you getting together with the neighbors Irish Setter..well...I'd suggest you put your foot down about that point.
2006-09-19 17:54:27 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
your husband has a problem and should see someone quick, because the porn is going to cause endless problems and could break up your marriage. porn is not a natural thing and should not be supported. and with the porn industry growing guess what is also growing, abuse towards woman and children.so protect yourself and your children and talk to him about it and go with him to see someone and remember that it is NOT OK and it is like having a 3rd person in the marriage and there is only 2 driving seats in marriage, that is your husband and YOU to support him, no one or nothing else.
2006-09-19 17:53:03 · answer #11 · answered by lloydgberry 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋