we just had a baby?

Question

me and my husband just had our first baby and my husband really wanted a baby and now he is really depressed he even thought and considered leaving me and we were always really happy before the baby came and now he doesnt do anything with the baby he plays with him for like 10 min and then gives him back the baby is 6 months old and the longest he has kept him is like 30 min maybe. he doesnt have any attatchment to the baby and now all he wants to do is party and of course I dont do any of that not that because I cant ever get him to watch the baby for me he is out. and he said he works all of the time but I work and he should want to spend time with the baby I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

you poor thing...i think it's a ploy to get attention. my brother in law was that way for a while. he really wanted to have children. then when he did, he got into a really deep depression and went into a phase of taking off and partying, leaving his chick and son to do what they had to do. after awhile, his chick got sick of it, and one day all the locks were changed and all stuff was on the porch, with letter on top...it went some thing like this...

you wanted a child, we had one and now your nowhere to befound, so get your sh** and go find somewhere else to grow up at, cuz i already have a child i dont need another to worry about. i need a partner, not a flake who cant be there for me and my child...yeah my child...you haven't done crap...so when you are ready to be a dad...not just the sperm-donor, call me and we'll talk. until then i need $200 for the baby. leave it under the mat.

nice huh?? he didnt have much to say and took off...after a few days he came begging. his behavior didnt change right away, but you could see the effort he put into it. he needed time to bond with his child. and now the two are inseparable. sometimes drastic measure are called for...men have to get the picture before the child is grown and gets issues...talk to your husband about how he's feeling. let him know that you love him and dont want to lose him, but now that youre a mommy, you cant worry 24/7 about a grown man....your son needs BOTH of you...if he cant bring his part to the table , you may want to go a shop around for something thats a little more tasty...

Answer 2

You said he wanted a baby, but he didn't consider how much time and effort a baby takes up? And now he wants to go out and play while you stay home with your baby?

At the moment, he's being really selfish and is only thinking about himself. You two really need to sit down and have a really long talk about expectations and how they're not being met. What did he expect to happen once the baby got here?

You know, there are a lot of really good baby books on the market, but the problem is, babies can't read, and new parents usually expect that their baby will act like the book says; that's hardly ever the case.

Sit down and talk to him. If that doesn't work, set up some time with a minister or a therapist, and get him to talk. Let us know what happens.

Answer 3

Ahhhhh your husband has that boo hooo poor me I dont' get all the attention anymore syndrome. Surprising isn't it? How much work a baby really is, how much time they really take, how much it changes your relationships. Having kids has destroyed many a relationship that probably would have been happy forever if they never had them. Sorry but basically taking care of the baby is NOT an option..you HAVE to do it, the baby is incapable of doing it for him or herself....so that leaves one option, your husband needs to grow up, quit whining, acknowledge and accept the responsibility he CHOSE to take on and be a dad. Basically though you teach people how to treat you and you are teaching him that he can put all of the responsibility that you took on as a couple on you and you will tolerate it. What do you mean he 'won't' take care of him, its simple walk out the door and leave him with the baby, he'll learn to take care of him or he'll go to prison..PERIOD. Really your man needs his butt kicked, and he needs to grow a spine and grow up. Honestly if this is how he's going to act both you and your baby are better off without him, he will never contribute anything of value to your childs life or yours...money he had to give the kid anyway. You need to shake his butt up and if he still wont' do what he should you need to throw him out and get on with your life.

Answer 4

This is normal. He is just scared! He needs to realize that just because he has a baby, his social life isn't over. In time he should get over this. I would just talk to him about it and let him know how you feel and let him know how much your baby needs him! He is probably feeling trapped and tied down...most men feel this way right after the wedding...but looks like the baby did it to your husband. This should be temporary, but DO NOT let it go on any longer. Talk to him right now! =0)
Congrats on the baby, and good luck!!

Answer 5

You married the wrong man. He can't be a good husband or a good father. Wait til the baby is about 2-3 yrs then divorce him if he hasn't and won't change.

Answer 6

good luck on having your baby just tell him that wanted a dirvoce cause he never helps u wit da baby so tel him its over or u and da baby are leaving 4 good so get a new man and he might be cheating on u u will never know till u ask him.

Answer 7

give it time he will come around he is scared and this is normal all the time you spent on him he is now haveing to share with the baby and he might be a little resentful but this is temporary just GIVE IT TIME it will all work out

Answer 8

.....MEN!!!!! He is just a big old baby himself. He will get over it, have patience and don't nag. When the baby starts walking and talking they well be best buds.