I'm turning 13 old in November. I'm a girl though a tomboy, redhead, smart, and shy. Need help please?

Question

I'm 12 turning 13 in November. My name is Jess. I am a tomboy, and in a lot of advanced classes because I get good grades. My dad mainly, but my step mom and mom too, keep trying to get me to go over to my friends houses. But i don't want to. I moved to this place im at now after 4th grade and i am now in 7th grade. I left my best friends, and now i don't feel that i can make new ones. I am shy but my parents don't think that. I'd rather spend time with family than my friends now. I still miss my old friends. I've been here about 3 years now. All the girls are girly and like to tan and being a redhead i just burn. I haven't made a connection with any one here but im trying. My parents still push me, but i feel like i stand out. Being a tomboy, redhead, and smart does that to me. What should I do? Post an answer please if you have any comments, or anything to say, or a answer. Thank You

Answer 1

I was alwawys a tomboy and still am to this day. I was also really good in school and shy so I know exactly where you're coming from. I got made fun of and picked ona lot. I tried being someone I really wasn't. It just doesn't work. You've got to be yourself.I know it's really hard, but don't change just for someone else to notice you. If they don't accept you for who you are tehy're not worth it. Try not to be too withdrawn, maybe join a sport or a club you're interested in. That wawy you can meet people with your interests and it'll be easier to strike up a conversation. Hang in there.

Answer 2

When I was your age, I didn't get out much at all. I spent my time with my books and was quite the "Nerd" (I take the term as a compliment) I wasn't, nor am I now, very girly at all. I identified more witht he guys.

One thing that may help you branch out is to perhaps join a club at your school. You're very bright, so maybe an academic club, like Science Olympiad, Math Club, Art Club... You'll meet new people, and they won't judge you. If you open up a little, people will accept you for you, and wont have a problem with you being a tomboy, or super smart, or whatever.

Do be sure to let your parents know about your apprehension. Pushing you into something you are not necessarily comfortable with is not going to help you much, and could very well make matters worse in the long term. Trust me, High School will be much better for you :-)

Answer 3

Three years is a long time to pout over moving honey. Do you have any interests that could lead to making friends. You say you are a tomboy. How about joining a sports team? You make good grades. Are there any academic clubs you'd like to join? Life is out there and you are alive and well, so join the living. Your loyalty to your old friends is nice, but they haven't stopped living over you. Write them sometimes, or phone them, but get out and enjoy being young! Your parents are right. Why don't you start by asking your parents to let you have a party for your 13th birthday? Invite people you would like to get to know better and don't invite the girls you find intimidating.

Answer 4

I was a fair skinned, shy girl also, who moved to a new place when I was in the fourth grade. The move made my shyness worse, since I knew no one. Over time, though, I did find friends who shared in my interests. Maybe you could join some of your school's clubs. Try to join clubs where you'll meet other kids who like the same things as you, like a debate team, or maybe something sports related. Or, maybe you could get involved in a sport, if you aren't already. The turning point in my life was when I realized that I wanted to be an artist. Suddenly, I had something really important to focus on; something that could change the course of my life. I ended up going to college for art and met lots of other people who were artsy and kind of different, like me, and suddenly I didn't feel so different anymore. I'm still shy sometimes, but when I feel especially shy I try to focus outside of myself, to just become immersed in what is going on around me. I hope this helps!!

Answer 5

Hi Jess:
Your parents (and step mom) have a good point. It's been three years since you left your other friends behind and at this time in your life, you should be making new friends. But if you don't like the kids in your neighborhood, here's a suggestion. Register as a volunteer. There are teen volunteers in red cross positions, working in hospitals (yes!) and in many other places. Volunteering is a great way to meet people and make new friends who have interests more in line with your own. It also leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment, which is pretty nice.
Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I have always been different. I learned things at a fast rate; and was very artistic. Which made it hard for me to make friends. My best advice is be true too yourself; learn who you are as a person and what you like then find people with the same interest.
Remember that a true friend will like and except you for who you are and not who they think they can make you to be. Time is the catalyst of all situations and it is better served if you know who you are. Also with your old friends keep in contact via mail, e-mail, chat. Finally don't be afraid to stand out individuality creates character and personality. If everybody was the same life would be beyond boring. Make your own melody through your life.
best of luck if you want to talk e-me
-David Williams

Answer 7

I am 13 and i have moved so i have been there. First of all be your self no one likes someone fake then get to know people if it is hard to naturally join some clubs with interest you like that way you can get to know people who like things you like find someone that's outgoing so they ll do talking and they can introduce you to other people. If you feel that once you get a friend you want have time for family that's not true just make time for each and tell you parents to stop pushing you tell them you will find a friend on your on and don't worry threes some friend out there for you.

Answer 8

Being in middle school now, u should maybe be more OUT THERE. get out of ur tomboyish ways. I guess ppl dont accept ppl that dont have the LOOK. its ridiclous. Just find ppl with ur interest. OKay what Ima bout to say is sorta mean so do THIS WITH CAUSTIOn. i did this last year in school and it TOTALLY WRKD. alright since u r in advanced classses, thr are polly many nerds and such in ur classes. tyr and click with them and then start overcoming ur shyness and then u'll def. make new friends. ppl wont wanna be ur friend if u dont have any to begin with. IT WILL WRK TRUST ME I KNOW.

Answer 9

examine the variety area on teenage magazines (Seventeen, J-14, etc.) they have all the lastest girly varieties. keep at places like Aeropostale, Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle. they have advantageous skirts and the appropriate tops which will elect it. additionally, with the aid of stunning footwear like residences, talk, sandals and boots. =]

Answer 10

just be your self...talk to them as you would with your other friends...if they don't like you like that then DON'T change for them...that just means that they are not going to be good friends or worth it...and it really shows that you are unique and not a follower...your family just really care for you even though they may be just a little pushy!...good luck!