I had a baby 3mo and 1 day ago...yay me! But I need help...is this just me? Does Breastfeeding reduce sx drive? I have no desire to have sx. I think about it and want to but my body is non responsive to any initiation. IS it the hormones? We tried recently and all I could think about were he better not touch my breast because those r hers. I try to get my mind to focus on him but its no use, Im just not easily turned on. It takes about 20 minutes of foreplay and I still dont really enjoy it. Is it just me or have others experienced this?
2006-09-19 09:58:13 · 18 answers · asked by Porsha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
All of ur answers r sooo good so far! WHO WILL GET BEST ANSWER! Wish I could vote for all of you (w/ exceptions of the 1st two)! THANKS SOOOO MUCH!
2006-09-19 10:26:08 · update #1
I think that giving birth in general lowers the sex drive at least for a little while. My son was born 6 months ago, I am still breastfeeding and my sex drive (at this point) has increased. So much so that my husband has commented on it. I think it has a lot to do with baby boy sleeping though the night and letting me get more sleep. I say just give it some time.
2006-09-19 10:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by perchinawhitewinesauce 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hormones abound with feelings of protectiveness and well being for your baby right now, and nursing increases these feelings.
As a previous posted mentioned, yes, there is a significant decrease in your sexual desire because your female role has taken a turn and began its mothering aspect.
Soon you will become more in tune with your partner, but try to go slow. Forcing yourself to have intercourse when you are physically and hormonally not ready can be very uncomfortable, not to mention create tension between you and your partner.
What I suggest is trying to find some time each day that you can dedicate to yourself completely~whether it be a warm bath, a quiet walk, a moment to catch up on some ready. Some time without any distractions from anyone- even your baby. Maybe when she is taking a nap, and your partner can attend to her if she wakes.
I suggest this because it gives you some quality "me" time and that may be just enough to balance your hormones out and get back on track, not only with your intimacy with your partner, but also your family as a whole. Mama's gotta feel good for everyone else to feel good, too!
One more thing, sex doesn't always mean intercourse- and that being said, you and your partner can find some cuddle time that may satisfy you both.
All my best~
2006-09-19 10:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by ajbabies3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say that it is normal. it happened to me with both my children. i had the same problem when i was breastfeeding my daughter (second born). it does pass with time even while breastfeeding. if you don't want your partner to touch your breast then just tell him how you feel about it. it makes it easier to tell him ahead of time then when he does it cause it just may be the thing that turns you off more. try getting a sitter or a friend or family to watch the baby for a hour or two on the weekend and spend time with your husband/partner. try telling him what your body feels like such as he has to initiate (temporarily) and that you have trouble focusing on just him. he should understand and it will make it easier on both of you.
just hang in there and in a couple more months things should be better for both of you.
congrats and good luck.
2006-09-19 10:23:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bella's Creations 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal. The hormones from breastfeeding and the challenges of caring for a young baby make it difficult to be interested in sex. I know that I wasn't interested in sex until my period was about ready to return and my baby was sleeping a little better at night.
With my older daughter, I was interested in sex again when she was about 6 months old, my period returned when she was 7 months old, and I got pregnant again when she was 8 months old.
With my younger daughter, I was interested in sex again when she was around 9-10 months old and got my period at the same time. Unfortunately, with two young children, we were sick a lot that winter, so sex was a rare event anyway, but that's another story.
Hopefully, things will bounce back for you soon. In the meantime, know that you're not alone.
2006-09-19 15:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to 3 under 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breastfeeding and giving birth does "dry" you up, so the natural lubricant isn't as abbundant either. You have lots of things on your mind and responsibility, and sex right now is probably feeling like another job ! Being tired too doesn't help. It's rather normal to save your breasts for feeding, how quickly they're not sex objects anymore...hehehe
(funny how kids answer these questions just for the points..)
2006-09-19 10:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by Liandrew00 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 10 month old daughter and still breastfeed. I'm not sure if they have anything to do with each other, but I have a hard time getting "in the mood" since she was born. I hoped it would have gotten easier by now but it hasn't not much. The first dozen times we did do it after she was born it HURT so bad, like I was loosing my virginity all over again. Well I hope things get better for you.
2006-09-19 11:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is totally normal. The only thing is don't think of your breast as hers. They are yours. I went through that with my first child. I didn't want to do anything. Then after your hormones get back to normal, which can take a while, then you will be yourself again. Actually after the second child I was a nympho. Weird! It's your hormones. Talk to your dr he/she can help. By the way if you don't want him touching your breast now, wait til you stop breast feeding. OUCH!!
2006-09-19 10:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same, so I guess (hope) your normal (or I wasn't either?). I felt like my boobs were my babies for the time that I was breastfeeding and it's kinda true - there there for that reason aren't they. Your other half will realise what your thinking if you tell him and he'll get the message. Apart from that a baby of 3 months still takes it out of you, you'll be knackered and really can't be bothered.....it'll all work out. Good luck.
2006-09-19 10:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by aza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mind is on other things. I would say your sex drive has fallen. But it will increase again after you are done nursing probably. It is hard to get back into a normal pattern. Especially because you only had our baby 3 months ago. I was the same way. But my hubby went along with it. You might not be totally satisfied. But he will be OK. you might just have to not expect much to happen to you for a while. but keep your hubby happy and things will go back to normal eventually.
2006-09-19 10:02:10 · answer #9 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It could take a while for your drive to return. Your body is still adjusting to baby's "life outside the womb". A lot of women view their breasts as strictly "utilitarian" after birth. It is completely normal. I took me a while after weaning my baby to change my mind set about my breast and their purpose. Give yourself some time to get "normal". Good Luck!
2006-09-19 10:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋