how do you get a man to help you clean the house in a not being his mother kind of way?

Question

i ask my man to help me all the time he wont budge and then i try the angry approach like, you better get in there and do those dishes or ill make your week miserable, doesnt work. ive been nice,mean,ive even gone on strike and let the house go. he really is a good man he just bought me a new jeep . but we both work and i just dont have the time to "do it all". getting a new man is not an option for me for im pretty happy.

Answer 1

Marraige isn't quite a two way street to him I see. Hell....I was single until I was 26. Spent 5 years in the Marines too. So I even learned how to darn my own socks. When I came to my wife I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, ironed clothes and vacuumed the floors. The only thing I hate to do is fold clothes.
All still holds except for the clothes folding. I do that but not the way she wants it. She complained once about it and when i stopped doing it she saw the light and never complained again.

You aren't going to get him to do it. He's acting like a jerk and you're stuck. Hey...your finances are great...you get laid probably more often than not and you got a new Jeep in the deal. Sounds like its a good deal for you! Let it go and do some 4 wheeling instead. Maybe you can get him to wash and wax the jeep for ya?

Answer 2

If he's a good man, you have something to work with. He just may have been taught wrong. You have to use wisdom with this type of man. Threats don't work.

1. Stop nagging. Don't keep repeating yourself about a job. He heard you the first time.
2. Don't come in working. Get cleaned up and relax first.
3. You take one job at a time and ask him to help you with it. Then complement him. Men love compliments and saying this will help stop him from tuning you out.
4. Remember: you are changing bad habits in him and you. It takes time, but keep at it. Say thank you and stuff. Kindness and appreciation are what men love.
5. Or put on something sexy and call him to help you with a job. Or step in front of the t.v. with it on and ask.
6. Remember: A barracuda don't need no help. Men tune them out and feel if you're as bad as a man, do it yourself! But we have to be strong enough to ask for help and work well with the helper. This is feminine dignity.

Mine was pretty dense in this area until I changed my approach. I stopped nagging for one. I stopped repeating myself, for two. When he did do it, I would complement the job. Some would say I was kissing his butt, but I say if the job was done well, then I should say so! This ain't faking it. If there was something I wanted done, I would say, "Honey, can you do **whatever** because I can't do it." After 20 yrs. of this he still can't do enough for me! Baby, it works!

Answer 3

A couple of options that I see....one: hire someone to come and clean your house a couple of times a month or weekly, especially since you both work, I am sure you can afford it.
two: What I do to get my husband to do things is on the weekend, I give him a "to do" list hand it to him and let him manage himself. It works for me and he does not mind when I give him a list, he would not know what to do or where to start if I did not do this.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

this is what might work,
leave notes around the house and see if that works
and if not then say this
"you can do this and me this or you can do what i was going to do"
it some times works
it did for me.
i have only been married for 4 yrs this DEC. and it's working pretty good so far.
knock on wood.lol
good luck

Answer 5

If you are happy with him and he is a good man, clean the house yourself. Might be a sacrifice you have to make to keep a good man.

Answer 6

well if you both work you should let him know it is both of your responsibility to work at home also,,,or tell him you will quit your job so you have the time to keep up the house...only if you think that would work with him.. hope i helped a little

Answer 7

Stop putting out. Tell him you're too tired from doing chores all night after work.

See how long it takes before he gets the idea. Buy a toy if necessary, but cut him off completely and tell him you're too tired - but you "might" be willing if he would help with chores.

Answer 8

Honestly - sex is a major motivator for me...

Or - since u have a lazy azz for a hubby - let him wash his own clothes... or tell him to hire a maid service..

Answer 9

tell him "today we are going to clean" then ask him what do u want to do, i'll let u pick from washing the dishes, sweeping/mopping, garbage, washroom ect. which 2 or 3 do u want to do. hope it works.
god luck

Answer 10

Give and take approach. My hubby knows if he helps me, we both work too, that payback is in the bedroom.