i need help with my daughter?

Question

i have a daughter with depression, anger, and body image issues. she also had a drug problem awhile back. our family has history of these meantal problems and more. is there any questions i should ask a theripist to pick the right one for her?

she is only 15 years old

Answer 1

I would also suggest finding a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist for your daughter as typically speaking psychiatrists use more medication oriented strategies where psychologists will have more alternative techniques to employ. As far as body image issues go, that is not unique- welcome to America for today's teens. I would like to point out that if your daughter is dealing with depression, anger may be an outlet/expression of that depression rather than a disorder of its own.

Also, instead of picking a therapist for your daughter, I would recommend getting a list with a few who specialize in adolescent psychology (possibly a dual-disorder specialist, since she has a history of drug problems) that your insurance will cover and then letting her pick off the list. Therapy and other interventions are much more effective if 1) the person is question WANTS to be helped and 2) they have a say in their options about how they want to handle the problem. I would also say that most people, especially teens, are more comfortable talking to a professional who is the same gender they are. Good luck.

Answer 2

I would think a therapist who specializes in teens is what you need, and/or someone who specializes in "children, adolescents and familes".

When it comes to selecting one it is probably most important that the person be someone your daughter is comfortable with.

I don't mean to seem like I think I'm capable of second-guessing what you say about your own daughter, but your mentioning that your family has a history of "these mental problems and more" made me wonder if there's the chance you're seeing what could be normal 15-year-old behavior as mental problems. (I'm not saying that's how it must be. I'm just wondering..)

Young teenagers try (and use drugs). It isn't always necessarily a sign of mental problems. Sometimes its experimentation gone wrong. Sometimes its having a good time. Sometimes its doing what a kid thinks everybody does.

Body image issues are pretty normal too, especially for 15. Girls who have fine builds find something wrong with the shape of their ankles or knees or the fact that their tummy is too whatever, etc. Girls who are too heavy feel horrible about that.

Being depressed over not being happy about what she looks like or something else in her life isn't necessarily abnormal for a kid that age either. PBS had a program on about teenage brains, and they were saying that because the brain isn't completely finished developing kids can tend to feel depressed. They can also misread an innocent remark someone like a mother makes and take it the wrong way.

I'd be a little more concerned about the anger, but even that can come from someone's being unhappy for so long they start to get kind of angry at the world.

Maybe what you should ask a therapist is someone who seems willing to consider that your daughter's problems may not be problems within her but could, instead, either be an extreme case of being 15 or else maybe something in her external life (rather than within her, herself) that is causing her to feel this miserable. In other words, I'd look for a therapist who doesn't automatically zero in on your daughter's moods and assume she must have some "chemical imbalance" and need medication. I'd look for a therapist who seemed to lean toward looking at everything and considering that your daughter could be having a normal response to something in her life, even if that's just to being 15.
(I am convinced that 15 is the worst age anyone can ever be.)

Probably the most important thing is for your daughter to feel comfortable enough to be absolutely honest with the therapist, so if she's someone who'd prefer either a man or a woman start with that.

Answer 3

Education is a really good wy to learn about oneself and the world. Taking psychology and sociology courses helped me learn about my own depression, the world around me, and also helped me to resolve my body image issues. I don't know if this is an option, or if your daughter even has an interest in social sciences. But, if she is or if she is at least curious about checking that stuff out, the library is a great place to start. Also, giving one's life a cause can be a very liberating, healing, and inspiring thing. Are their any problems in the world that your daughter is particularly concerned about (things like world hunger, or poverty, etc.) If so, encourage her to find ways to educate herself and others, or to find projects that contribute to a solution. Change in the world begins with one person, changing what they do, observing learing and educating others.

Sometimes finding an outword focus can bring more peace on the inside.

I would like to make a contribution in some way. about 5 months ago I read an article that really changed how i looked at my body. I don't know if it is available sepparate from the entire book, but i will provide the book title, as well as the article title in the sources. (I've also added reference to another article)

Also, I will leave a link to some papers that i wrote that i still use in my gender education community. I feel that they are an integral part of a healthy understanding of possibly gendered self and encourages identity liberation. (The least relevant is probably the ethnomethodology. The other two are really good though)

You can tell your daughter again and again that her body is fine, even beautiful. But, all other social inputs are telling her that her body is not fine, is not beautiful. The best way to combat these consummer based lies is with education about the big picture. And the big picture is that it is very profitable to make people afraid of something (like their body shapes, sizes, smells, etc) and then sell them the "solution"
Please consider the articles suggested below and pass them on to your Daughter. (Articles not available in link. link is to sepparate papers i personally wrote about gender)

Answer 4

Start by choosing a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. It has been my experience that psychiatrists have a tendancy to only want to medicate you instead of getting to the root of the problem. If you have a family dr. then ask them for a referral. You can call mental health centers in your area for possible referrals as well. Try calling a few in the Yellow pages and asking them if they specialize in your daughter's issues. Also, try this website:

http://www.wwmhw.com/

Hope this helps and good luck. A good psychologist will really benefit your entire family and, most importantly, your daughter.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you should be asking her the questions and not taking her to a therapist. Mental health issues have become the major reason that people are so screwed up in this country.
Mental health is a lot of love and caring. It is a lot of discipline and knowing that you have rules and boundaries, it is a lot of just being there and not ever letting your kid down.
Don't take her to a therapist. Sacrifice your time to her. If you are working and have to quit. If you can't quit your job, then take a leave of absence.
The therapist is going to do nothing for her if you don't take the interest and time to help her yourself. It is about raising your child throughout the age of growing into an adult. she will do by imitation of how you handle your own life. Do this for yourself as well. Take this time and use it to her and your benefit. You know her better than anyone on this earth and if you think a stranger will be better equipped to help then think again, You love her, don't let her be brain washed by a stranger.
you will regret it later

Answer 6

Excellent question. Call around, and make an appointment for an interview. I suspect a female would be preferred. Most therapists will interview, and at this meeting ask the therapist her specialty. Unlikely he/she will respond to this with anything helpful.. but worth asking. Then ask if she has undergone her own program of psychotherapy? If yes, then gage how you feel with the therapist. If the answer is no, then try the next name on the list.

The reason you want someone who has undergone their own psychotherapy is that what your daughter needs to discover lies buried in her MIND realm.... and cannot be discovered by simply talking.

Short of this, at least get someone your daughter seems to like.

Good luck

Answer 7

It is difficult to gain help and assistance for our children, no matter how old they get they are always our children.
It is wonderful that you are still standing by her, this is the commendable and the best gift you will ever give her.

Unfortunately, lying is a way that all people tend to employ to protect themselves from the truth, so you will need to find a therapist that is willing to speak to you. Not necessarily at the same time as they speak to your daughter, but you do need guidance to be able to assist her in this struggle.

You therefore need to find a family friendly therapist.

You also need to steel yourself against her onslaught of lies, temper, fury and chemically induced mood swings. Remember it is the disability you hate not the child.

To be a good parent, you need to learn to be a bad parent.....don't help, don't give in and remain strong. This is the hardest part. Find supportive people for yourself and remember to find time for YOU.

Good Luck
and God Bless

Answer 8

Oh gosh. Shame. This is my greatest fear for my child (she is now 3 years old).

Usually there are centres for people with mental problems, such as depression where a number of experts work with these people. (I had depression myself, but not as bad as your daughter seems to have it.) You seem to be a wonderful mother - good luck with this. It must be breaking your heart.

Answer 9

i think that you should first see if you daughter feels comfortable w/ the person you choose. and then make sure that they specialize in teens and the issues she has . i also think that you should check out family therapy because her issues may just be a reaction to larger family problems.

Answer 10

Talk to her doctor and let him suggest every one he knows who might can help. Try to stay off medicines.

Talk to each of the PSYCHOLOGIST (not Psychiatrist) that he recommends and determine which one you think she can identify with the best.