What should I do?, I have a 22 year old daughter, that I just found out is being abused by her boyfriend, I tr

Question

She has been with him since she was 14,so she is rather attached So you have to consider that also, I do still LOVE her though VERYMUCH

Answer 1

Dear god. Call the police, anything to get them apart. I'm sure you would rather have a daughter mad and saying she'll never forgive you than a dead one.

Regardless of how long they have been together, or how attached she is, abuse is not love. Period.

Answer 2

More than likely if your daughter has been with him since she was 14 she is really more used to him than in love with him. Get her some help find a counselor, a former victim of domestic abuse, anyone who can paint the picture of what will happen to her. Love does not make you want to hurt someone. if he is hitting her then there are other issues that he is battling with and she is being a scapegoat. I am not saying that he does not love her i am saying that there are other things that he is going through that are overriding the love he may have for her. Your daughter needs to know that she is beautiful and deserves to be treated like a queen and with respect if he can not give her any act right then she needs to be strong enough to let him go. maybe he will come back, maybe he won't but she does not need to take his abuse. Stand up for herself and you stand by your daughter's decisions.

Answer 3

I don't think that talking to her alone will help. If she is being physically abused, you need to call the law. It sounds like she is very dependent on him. I've found in my experience with some of my friends that they were afraid to leave because they have children or don't make very much money. Sometimes those are the types of things that make a woman feel like she has to stay.

If she is expressing desire to leave, tell her that there are many programs available to help her out. Encourage her to get out, because abuse gets worse, not better, and as we know sometimes ends up with someone being seriously injured or killed.

Talk to her, but inform the law. Maybe if he gets jailed enough, she'll be able to spend that time getting her thoughts straight without him being there, and she will be able to realize on her own that she needs to get out. That's not love, that's possession.

Answer 4

I know as a mother it has to kill you. My grandparents stayed out of it after they talked to my mom. The more you try to tell her to leave the more she will want to stay. She'll get mad if you get involved. Just explain that it's not right and assure her that it's ok if she comes back home and that you love her with all you have. She'll get tired of it. If you can call the police and give them a heads up, that would help. If he continues to do it, even if she doesn't want to press charges the state will. I feel really sorry for you in this case. A woman can only put up with so much. She'll get tired and leave. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't think negative. Be positive. Ask her what she wants for you to do to help. Just be blunt and ask her like that. She'll tell you. You're mom.

Answer 5

Find a support group in your area, then check them out. Find out when the meetings are and go to one and meet the person that holds them. Tell them the situation that she is in and get advice from them. Let that person know that you're going to be bringing your daughter for a sit-in. Bring your daughter but don't tell her where you're going. Just tell her that she needs to check something out. Make a mother daughter day if you can, then show up at the meeting. I'm 26 and I was abused. I know what's she'd going through. Good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like she needs an intervention. Gather everyone who loves her and is worried about her and get them together with her (when he isn't around) to try and get her to see how worried you all are. She might need help from a professional, too. Unfortunately, since she has been with the guy for so long, he's probably made her so dependant on him that she feels worthless and unable to function without him. Don't give up on her! Good luck.

Answer 7

She won't leave until she wants to leave or she's dead. Bad as that might sound it's the truth. You have probably talked to her about every option and positive, self-esteem building thought. She won't listen until she decides she has had enough. Unfortunatly some women never make that decision. Be ready for the worst, document everything you do and everything you see him do. Report him to the police EVERY time. Other than that it is pretty much out of your hands.

Answer 8

all you can do is be there. if you try to talk sense to her you'll never see her. unfortunately, that's the way of it in most abusive relationships. the guy blames the girl for him hitting her. it's a control thing.so let her know you're there for her. call some women's shelters for advice. after all, you might have to help your daughter hide from him one day. they'd be able to advise you on everything you can do now and later.. good luck. i'll pray for your daughters safety.these things don't always end good.

Answer 9

Talk to her. Do they live together? she may be ashamed of admitting her mistake and scared of what people may think. If they've been together for years, I'm sure he is a part of the family too. She may be afraid that no one will believe her, or feel like she has no where to go. I'd bet she's ashamed of her mistake and scared that people will place blame on her for staying so long, leaving in the first place, etc. If they've been together that long, she may feel like no one else would love her like he has.

Bottom line, talk to her, in love. and let her know that you know and that it is okay and you'll support her.

Blessings to you.

Answer 10

You should get help right away. but your daughter should'nt know about this. talk to someone who specializes in that and when you feel secure enough talk to your daughter, put some since into her. Because you might regret it later on. Act now!!! or it might be too late!!!!