She lies to teachers, her boss, us, everyone, secretly smokes in the house, all to be with her boyfriend who is a complete loser. He has flunked out of high school twice, but this is not his fault; if it wasent him it would be another, she always brings losers home.
2006-09-19 08:55:34 · 29 answers · asked by someguy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She's 18. If she can't follow the rules of YOUR house, then she doesn't need to live there.
2006-09-19 08:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You must try to get her to listen to you. That means looking her in the eye and getting one point across to her, which is this - I love you more than anything in the world because you are my child. Make the best effort you have ever made to let this girl know you love her and are there for her.
She might be acting this way because she is rebelling or this may just be something she does because it is "fun" to her. If she is rebelling, love and words that affirm her self-confidence may be all that is needed, but if she is acting this way because it is "fun", there is not much you can do but let her go out on her own into the real world and pray to God that the rock bottom she hits is less than death.
You can not feel guilty for dealing harshly with someone who is disrespecting you and your home if you have done everything you possibly can to affirm her self-worth. Just make sure you exhaust every option and feel confident of why she is behaving the way she is before you make any rash decisions. She may really need you and your time and attention. Maybe she didn't recieve enough affection or praise as a child, but you can do something about that now and hopefully heal any pain she is still feeling. Good luck and don't let this get you down. Don't point fingers at anyone, including yourself. Blame doesn't make anything better. The only thing that matters is that you sincerely try now to give her what she needs.
2006-09-19 09:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kristie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has a poor self-image. Which, at this stage of the game, is just hard luck. If she hasn't learned it by now, you're not going to be able to change her with a good, firm talk and some gentle guidance. Kick her butt to the curb and let life teach her what you apparently could not.
Be aware, however, that if you don't help her transition (find an apt, job, college, etc.) she's more than likely going to move in with the first loser that's willing to let her **** for a place to live. While trying to help her transition may not still cure this problem, you're going to have to face facts: she's not a child anymore and coddling her at this point is going to do more harm than good over the long run.
Time for her to learn what life is about, and that mommy and daddy aren't always going to be there to rescue her from the consequences of her irresponsibility.
2006-09-19 08:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by christophermalachite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well In America Once A Child Is 18+...They Are A Adult..Soooo If That Adult Cant Follow Your Rules Then Tell Her 2 Live With Her Boyfriend
2006-09-19 09:00:22 · answer #4 · answered by - Alexis. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
18 is the age to definately be out of these sort of things; but, I too had this same problem with my 18 year old daughter and how I got her to straighten up is actually talking to her quite frequently about her lying and rude behavior, also I had found a community counciling center I would take her to twice a week whether she wanted to go or not! Her choice of boys were not good and she did end up pregnant at 17, that alone was enough to make her soon realize it was time to stop bad habits and come to terms with her abnormal behaviors! She's 20 now and has actually became a terriffic youg lady, she understands the hell she put me and her father through, and we continue to talk how her behavior had effected all our lives, not just her own! Try talking to someone experienced in counciling, they will lead you down the right path! GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-19 09:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a woman that got kicked out as a kid i will say no not a good idea. your teenager may be the issue but i can grantee you that she is not the problem. i think that as a parent now myself that just b/c she is now 18 does not mean that you or your wife's obligation to that child is over. as a girl when you behave in the manner she is you are always looking for something you are not getting at home. i would suggest that you your wife and daughter go to some sort of family counseling and try to work things out that way before you just give up on her. and as for your wife wanting to kick her out if she isn't her real mother then you should ask yourself what are her real motives and remember that your loyalty lies with your child always b/c your daughter didn't choose her YOU did.
2006-09-19 09:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by Laura M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would set some serious boundries for bringing home losers... consider kicking out if a new additude hasn't made it's way into the picture... but she may just hang out with the losers even more and become more like them... which would be worse...
2006-09-19 09:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by lfaulk0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teachers, and boss??
Is she in school or working? If she is working why is she at home? Get a job and an apartment, if she cannot afford one get a room mate and share expenses. If she has a boy friend surely the two of them can earn enough to get by.
Why should they if you pay the bills. I would stay home to if my parents are willing to pay all the bills and I get to keep my money.
2006-09-19 09:00:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u kick her out she will hate u forever, is that the kind of relationship u want with your daughter? if she wants to move out on her own, and it is her choice ok, but dont force her. u know your her dad u can forbid her to see these boyfriends of hers. it is probably these loser men that make her act like a loser. good luck. remeber your the parent dont just stand there and watch this all happen and then post a question about it online. do something. DUH!!!!
2006-09-19 16:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by haleema 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, 1st off, she's 18, an adult.. treat her like one.. tell her and enforce the rules in the house.... charge her rent.. if she doesn't like the rules of the house tell her she can move out. and let's not forget electricity, food,water,garbage,cable, phone,@ internet bills. ley her know that ,as an adult she will pay for her fair share of the bills. it will definately show her how much things cost. it doesn't sound like she's responsible or reliable. she won't make it out in the world right now. but, giving her a taste of it may help.
2006-09-20 03:15:55 · answer #10 · answered by bama g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since she is 18 she is an adult if she is still in school give her an aultimation either she straitens up or its boot camp if that doesnt work then let her live on her own change the locks on the house and lets see how she likes it its tough love that she needs.
2006-09-19 16:20:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋