I hate my friend's boyfriend...?

Question

My best friend's boyfriend is a real piece of work. He's selfish, and very controlling of her. For example. she and I were spending the day together, and he decides that he wants her to come visit him at work. She explains to him that I am with her, and gets upset. As though she's not supposed to have a social life! Then we go to dinner with him, because he got a break, and he gets mad at her for bringing me.
He does this all the time. He wants all of her spare time, and doesn't allow her to hang out with any of her friends without him calling every 5 minutes asking her what she's doing.
I don't know what to do. She's so in love with him, that she can't see what he does to her friendships.
I've tried to just be nice and get along with him, but I refuse to not stand up for myself, and he insults me a lot, so I say stuff back. Not in a bad way, in a "defending myself" sort of way.
What should I do about it?

Answer 1

if shes happy let her get on with it she'll soon realise when you and other friends talk about your nights out and she doesnt know what your on about then she'll make more time for you all

Answer 2

Tell her that if she wants to be your friend she needs to leave the phone and the boyfriend behind when you two do things together. She can talk to him later. If she is not willing to then she is not a very good friend anyway. You should not say anything to the boyfriend- it is not between you and him- this is about how she is treating your friendship. This boy can not control your friend unless she lets him. If she is not willing to cut off communication with him when she is with you then just start doing things with other people instead and don't hang out with her. Hopefully she will come around. If she doesn't just be there for her when she finally does move on or wants help to move on. I know you might feel betrayed, but people act stupid in relationships and make dumb choices so just avoid the situation until she either agrees to be a good friend (meaning NO contact with bf when you two are together) or hits bottom in this relationship. Then be there for her- everyone makes mistakes and she deserves another chance. Hopefully your friends will be as good to you in the future.

Answer 3

This is more about your friend than her boyfriend. She is allowing him to control her life. She is also the one who is hurting her friendships. If you don't like how this is affecting you, start spending time with other friends. Your friend will either make a change in her life, and stand up to her boyfriend, or not. But either way, you won't have to deal with the boyfriend.

Answer 4

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RE:
I hate my friend's boyfriend...?
My best friend's boyfriend is a real piece of work. He's selfish, and very controlling of her. For example. she and I were spending the day together, and he decides that he wants her to come visit him at work. She explains to him that I am with her, and gets upset. As though she's not...

Answer 5

sounds like you'll have to wait it out- your friends in love- and maybe you should back off a little, let her come to you- and that sort of thing- It's hard to lose your best friend to a guy- I had to go through it- then we went through a period of 4 years where we didn't talk at all, now her, her man and I are closer then ever! But If I could have done things different- plus men need there ego's stroked

Answer 6

Well I have almost the same situation. My friend had a controling boyfriend so I'd suggest get on his good side

Answer 7

My best friend and me had the same problem. Her boyfriend would follow her around constantly and he would always want to know where she was. He hated me which didnt make things easier for me. She couldnt even come to church with me cuz he would get mad. So i finallly told her man you really need to take a look at how this guy is changing you and you need to decide if he is worth losing almost all of your friends ova cuz he is a jerk and you deserve better. I think i came off to strong cuz we got into a fight about it but not even 3 days went by and she ended up breakin up with him and we became friends after she apologized. So maybe you should try that and see how it works.

Answer 8

I had a friend like your bf. Every time she'd get a new man, I wouldn't hear from her for months sometimes years. As soon as she get's dumped, then she's my friend again. That happened one too many times and I realized that the men were controlling her because she allowed it.

Find yoiu a new friend, she sounds weak.

Answer 9

Guys like this are basically verbally abusive. Since this is usually controlled by anger, it can be dangerous because this can lead to physical abuse. I had a boyfriend like this and his abuse escalated and got much worse.

I realized that he tried to push everyone away from me- friends and family.. he did this because he knew that eventually I would leave him unless he was all I had. So, please continue to be there for your friend. She will need you and needs to get away from this guy. If he is this bad now, it will only get worse. Tell her these are bad signs and she needs to get away from him. I have seen many friends go through this too and it never ends good. You are a good friend for worrying. Hang in there.

Answer 10

Well it depends totally on how she feels abt it . If ur fren really gets upset abt it may b u can support her a lil by explainin to her not to agree to all that he says . but pls do understand that u r just a fren and shud not really interfere in her personal matters unless she asks for it . After all that cud b a relation she values more than urs n hers n u shud never become a reason to create any rift between a couple .