how can i stop these feelings?

Question

here it is i am a mum to two and live with their dad so its very much a marriage besides the paper and rings... my dilema is that i have totally fallen for a guy i cant stop thinking about him and cannot wait until i see him again my partner doesnt notice that things are different can you tell e if you have ever been in this situation if so how did you resolve it? genuine answers only plese

nothing has gone on with the other man i dont even know if he feels the same way but he gives the impression that he does

Answer 1

divert your attention to anyone else

Answer 2

even though your partner is not being verbal, that does not mean he does not notice a change.

my advice to you,is to truly step back and take a look at the situation from the outside. ask yourself things that are very important...

1. is your husband (mate) a good man? does he really love you?
2. is he a good provider?
3. can you possibly lose custody of your children?
4. how will the children feel if they no longer have daddy on a daily basis?
5. what is the other man providing that your husband is not?
6.are you truly unhappy with your husband?
7. does the other guy even really love you!?
8. will the other guy ever really respect you, or will he always look at you as a cheater?

you need to ponder all of these things, because this is a truly serious situation. you can change the route of your life, your mates life, and your childrens life forever. you need to make sure that the other man is what you really want. you may just be lacking something at home (romance, time alone, love making, etc.), and if that is the case try to work on it.

good luck

Answer 3

Dear Mum to Two; you are seriously endangering your two's very likely hood of having a stable, sound life, especially when they reach adulthood. Fifty percent of the personality development of a child is completed by the time he reaches five years old. It is extremely important he has a loving, stable atmosphere in which to grow up in.
When a couple marry they bind themselves to each other for eternity. They openly and totally commit themselves to each other. They do this in faith. Each one trusts the other to sincerely try to never hurt, always to help. United, they expect to seek happiness and fulfillment with each other. So if you are deciding to turn away from your partner and seek satisfaction in someone else, you are betraying your husband's trust.
Your not only unsuccessfully lying to your husband, you are also lying to yourself. And lying to anyone has the strange effect of turning that person into an enemy. So when you lie to yourself, you become your own worst enemy.
So when intimate with your husband, when you are opening up your hearts to each other, you both are basically honest, right? But when you feel the necessity of lying to the one you love, the one who trusts you implicity, you trap yourself in a double bind. And your bound to lose. And that's just what an unfaithful partner does. When you want to be on a intimate level with your husband, you can't, you simply cannot restore that closeness that you once shared, because of the lie. You can't tell your husband what you've done or what your thinking, so the lie you started just keeps growing. And that lie protects you from your husband's anger and possibly rejection and at the same time robs you of the tender intimacy you once shared. You must be careful of what you say and you must be afraid in case you let it slip out. Yea, you are indeed your own worst enemy!
Consider what adultry does, it breaks hearts, it destroys families and shatters lives, it's simply not worth it, is it?
I would seriously think about destroying your family, look at how much your children trust and how safe they feel with two natural loving parents. Surely something is missing in your relationship with your husband. Perhaps he has been taking you for granted as most relationships with couples who have been together for a number of years. Perhaps you've lost the interest.
Whatever the reason, I would seriously try to regain that spark back that you had with your husband. Remove yourself from the temptation of the other guy and do something positive to try and build up your relationship with your husband. It's strictly up to you to prove that in every way a woman knows how to love your husband more so now than ever before. The success of your marriage depends on this.
Many have discovered that the temporary sweetness of stolen waters is no match for the resulting guilt, fear, and loss of integrity. It is never too late to start over. God Bless.

Answer 4

It is my genuine answer that you have messed your life up. Eventually the father of your children WILL find out and he will leave. This other guy may well just be a fling, I seriously doubt he wants to take on two children and you for the sake of a fling. The net damage is that you will be raising children alone. I hope that you learn from this and do not make the same decision again in life.

Answer 5

I think you need to sit down and think about how you feel about your husband if you feel that its not there for you anymore I think the right thing to do is to brake it off before someone gets hurt. Its ok to stop liking someone it happenes all the time I just think you should go after your hapinesse whether it be with your husband or that guy or whoever. Just dont do it behind anyones back cause that would really hurt him if he found out I think it would hurt more than you telling him you dont want to be with him. Goodluck to you I wish you the best

Answer 6

Well, being attracted to other people is not wrong, but think twice before doing anything stupid and ruin the marriage you like so much. Remember you may be in love of an idea and this person is not what you're expecting

Answer 7

i dont have kids or a husband......but i've been in a similar situation and eventually he will notice something is different. you will act different around him. and you will be unhappy....my advice is to stop. if you're planning on still staying with you're baby's daddy then it's not going to work between you and your lover. you're just hurting yourself....because you're going after something that you probably cant have under the circumstances you're in. but if it's just for the moment kind of thing then enjoy it while it last. hope this helps

Answer 8

Try to rationalize. Is this other person someone you really can visualize a future with? Or do you only like them because you can't have them?

Best wishes, matters of the heart are always so tricky...

Answer 9

you have to be brutally honest with yourself--if you really love your husband and your family then you have to break off the relationship with the other man---try some counseling (couples counseling) try to find the reason you felt attracted to this other person--marriages go through phases and this might be a phase-----good luck

Answer 10

yah been there done that, i left the women i was with for the new love, it was the wrong thing i did! i';m not sure what your deal is Hot Pants, but you need to think with your head not down there getting filled. . what i'm saying is this, you seem a tad Bit to easy to me, i have Little to Know Dought i could have yah,

Answer 11

yes happened once and never crossed the line. you know what I mean. to much to lose! I'm glad I didn't! It was during a really ROUGH spot in our marriage.You need to check out what is really the problem in your relationship that you are willing to throw it all away!! good luck!!!