Having problems with my 2 year old son and New Born girl?

Question

My baby girl is 12 days old now. I had her by c-section due to some complications. Since my husband and I have brought her home my 2 Year old son is not listening at all.....he is getting into things that he would of never done before over and over again no matter how many times you tell him NO! He does absolutely anything to try and wake her up.....Is this normal?? Any suggestions on how to help him adapt?

Answer 1

yes it's normal.
my son was two when i had my daughter and he did the same thing. he was just acting out cause i spent more time with her them him. i am a stay a home mom and have been sense before my son was born so he was used to getting all the attention then when his sister was born. i was breast feeding so i spent more time with her. what he needs is you. he just wants things the way they were before his sister came around. and sense that can't be undone then just spend some quality time alone with him. have your husband help out and watch the baby while you spend some quality time with your son. he will soon get over this and become very loveable with her. he will always want to hold her and give her kisses. one thing you can try is if you have him give you and your husband kisses before nap and bed, you can have him give his sister kisses. it will teach him that she is part of the family too. as your daughter gets older and starts to sit up he will want to play with her. and when crawling he will crawl around chasing her and her chasing him.
with him getting into things he didn't used to it is just a phase and will pass. he isn't listening cause he thinks you aren't really paying attention to him so he thinks he is invisible.
when she is napping you can put her in your room and lock it so he can't get in there. if he plays loud and she isn't a hard sleeper then play some music in your room or wherever you put her at to sleep and it will help her sleep through the sounds and it will also help muffle out the sounds of your son sleeping. you can place a baby monitor in her bed with her sense she can't sit up yet put it at her feet or right above her head where she can't reach it.
if your door doesn't have a lock you can put one of those hook and eye latches on the door and frame up out of his reach (the top of the door) and that should keep him out.
you can have him help you give sissy a bath and change her diaper (let him open it up) or he can sit up by her head and talk to her while you change her.
this all helps him get used to her being there but the most important thing is to spend time alone with him.
congradulations and good luck.

Answer 2

Yes it's normal....he is feeling a bit left out of things and is probably a bit overwhelmed that he is not getting ALL the attention anymore. This can really affect kids self esteem and he is acting out so that he can get attention regardless of good attention or scolding attention at least he's getting it and a 2 year old can't differentiate between the two kinds. Try including him in the baby's care ...let him help change her, help feed her etc...tell him that you are so proud of him because he is the BIG BROTHER and he is helping you out SO MUCH with taking care of the baby. Then make sure to save some alone time just for him....and do things with him that he liked to do together before his sister came. He needs alot of reassurance also that he is loved and she is not a replacement. Remember before she made her big debut he was the star of the family...it's a little difficult to share that spot.

Answer 3

i have a 2.5 year son and 13 week baby. He has done the same, shouting his name, pulling legs, anything he can t wake him. He has also tryed hitting him and pulling arms poking ears and eyes.
I have found asking him to do stuff has helped, ie helping with nappy change, fetching change of cloths etc. As for not listening i have had to start using the naughty step again. We started using it just after his second birthday, it took a while for him to stay but he got it in the end and it worked then and is working again now, just the threat of it is enough to put him off most of the time.
Also now when baby is sleeping i tell him it is our special time and we can paint or bake some buns or something like that. good luck.

Answer 4

He's trying to get attention. The new baby is making him feel left out. Maybe you should try to involve him with taking care of the baby. Prop the baby on a pillow and let him feed her. Have him get you supplies when you're changing a diaper or packing the diaper bag. Get him more involved and he'll feel more important. Plus maybe you could spend a little time together after the baby goes down, like read a book or do a craft activity.

It'll get better. Good luck and Congrats!

Answer 5

Jealousy can be a terrible thing! He is just trying to make sure you remember he is still there too. I know a brand new baby demands a lot of time. However, he needs to know you still love him and he is just as important. If you can, take him somewhere or do something with him that doesn't include little sister. Just a little "Big Boy" time is all he is after. Even if it is an hour or two throughout the day, do something that is just for him. Try to include him in her everyday goings on. Let him help with her bath, pick out clothes for her, or whatever you can "use his help with." Keep in included and he'll come around. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Its hard for him to communicate at this age. And at this point he is used to being the baby. And having everyone dote on him. Now the focus is on the new baby (no matter how much attention you still give to him, its not enough!).

Best advice, is talk to him and let him know whats going on. Hes a big boy now and mommy and daddy need his help. Include him in things like picking up the laundry and putting it into the machine, let him hold hte bottle while the baby is being fed, etc. He needs to feel included. You are his security blanket and someone else is holding that hostage from him, so you just need to give him reassurance that your love for him doesnt change.

As your daughter gets older, be sure to set aside time alone with each child so they get your undivided attention.

Congratulations!

Answer 7

Get him involved with your taking care of her. He is feeling jealous and like he isn't a part of what's going on. Try explaining things to him and have him help out with stuff like getting diapers. He is just trying to get attention, so be sure not to ignore him or put him off. Tell him if he lets her sleep that you can spend more time with him alone, and then follow through. Explain to him that he is a big boy now and needs to act like it, tell him all of the things that he can do as a big boy that his baby sister can't. Yes, he is acting normal, you just need to learn how to react. Give him less attention when he is bad and more attention when he is good.

Answer 8

My oldest was 2 1/2 yrs when we brought our other baby home. He was really good, but I think it was purely as we let him help, let him cuddle her, ask him to check she's OK when she's sleeping, helping to get her nappy when she needs changing, singing to her. We just really got him involved in everything, including helping us to bath her...he seemed fine. Has the baby bought her big brother a present for being the new big brother?? Make sure the new Aunties/Uncles/Grannies aren't ignoring him or treating him differently. I know it's difficult but their not silly little things are they? I'm sure if you get him busy helping he won't have time to wonder what bits he can get up to. It's not an easy time but hopefully it will settle down - it's all new for him too.

Good luck with them both.

Answer 9

i have a 3 year old girl and when my husband and i brought home our son we made sure to let her "help" out with the baby stuff. this made her feel like she had a role or a job and made it easier for them to get to know one another, and we always made special time for her whether it was during his nap or if i was tired i d let her nap with me.now they are inseperable. my son is almost 9 months now and there is peace....

Answer 10

My friend just had the same problem. I told her to try to do activities together. Yes she is a newborn but you can sit and watch a movie or your son can help you change her diapper. By getting a diapper out for you that way you make him feel like he is important to you. Try it. It works well.