In case anyone asks, I am attractive and smart, just have low self esteem, and a toxic romantic relationship has made that worse in the past few years. I need to break up with him, & have also lost all my friendships.
2006-09-19 08:02:42 · 19 answers · asked by melon_rose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
"ryk_j" totally misunderstood my question. i am not looking to cheat on my boyfriend.
2006-09-19 08:31:08 · update #1
I wish I could give you a big hug. : -)
You might worry you'll feel even lonelier after you break up with this fellow, but consider giving yourself the respect you deserve and ending it. Yes, you might lose some more friends along the way, friends you shared with him, etc. But nothing is worse than being trapped in a "toxic" relationship (I like the use of the adjective here).
Friends come and go, and bad relationships fizzle out over time. I'd suggest trying to connect with your family. I could not survive without talking to my mom at least a couple times a week. She's truly my best friend. And if you can't be close with your mom, try an aunt, cousin, sibling... even grandparents can really help you build that self esteem.
Family's here to stay. Rely on them in the hard times and rejoice with them in the good times!
God bless.
2006-09-19 08:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by mtnlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your love for yourself is most important. Just be honest with the personand tell him that you guys are better off not together, you need time to be by yourself. Call the friends you lost and explain that you have made mistakes and want to get in touch again. If they were ever real friends they will understand. You know that you are smart and attractive so your self esteem is not that bad. Do some nice things for yourself, that will make you feel better. You will find the right person when you least expect it. It may be tommorow, it may be next year, 5 years. try not to stress, it will work out and you will look back on this as a learning experience. Feel better and good luck.
2006-09-19 08:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by TrueLibra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then first try making new friend to hang out with. This is a mistake I see many of us women do and that is we leave out our friends to be with our guy and we have to remember that guys come and go and a true friend is for ever.
Second: If you have realized this is not a good relationship you are in, the sooner you break up with the guy the better. I read one day that you are only allowed to cry one day for every month spent in the relationship. True it hurts, true you will cry, but dont dwell on this either.
Also, buy books. I recommend you read "Why men love Bitches" is really good and it can help you a lot.
Change your appearance, give yourself a new look, go to the gym, get a new hair cut, do a manicure or pedicure.. etc
Go out an see the world, life is too short to be crying over a guy.
2006-09-19 08:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do some serious self-seeking and resurrect the girl inside that was there before the toxic man got the best of you. No one will love you and see what an amazing person you are if this is the stuff you put out there.
Strength is something we are born with. It's not acquired over time, but it can get lost. You have to find the inner strength to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot. You'll be ok once you pull yourself out.
2006-09-19 08:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are female and attractive, go to the closest bar, smile at a guy. You're all set. Next day, repeat. But seriously, pick out a couple of activities that bring you joy. Sign up for a class or two and you'll meet a lot of new people that share a common interest. Photography, dancing, cooking, the possibilities are endless. Good luck, hang in there, things will work out. You just need some exposure.
2006-09-19 08:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by babalu2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. If he stalks you get an order of protection. Hopefully he will just leave you alone. If he doesn't, make sure you have a Strong support system in place(friends and family) Maybe you could stay with a family member temporarily. Being in this kind of relationship takes it's toll on your self esteem so a councilor would be helpful. Remember you are strong and beautiful . Once you get out from under this dark cloud things will start to change for the better. You can do it. Then you will be receptive to the love you deserve.
2006-09-19 08:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by deedermarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to the library or barnes and noble and sign up for their book club. This is a neat way to find good conversation. Many towns offer walking clubs, check out your chamber of commerce and get some details about the area you live in. I know in my town they have newcomers club. Get involved in activitiesthat are offered through your local community center such as: cooking classes, sewing or nature hikes.Have you ever thought about joining a church's singles activities? They can be fun. Meet new friends and some churchs have dances and getogethers. Try out an adult sport team such as soccer or track... this will help you increase your asteem in my opinion.
2006-09-19 08:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by Peggy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad? Lonely?...yea me too...but just try being around family if you can...being with family is fun...sometimes...and you could probably get a free meal out of it too...free meals are fun too...sort of...I'm sure if they were true friendships they would be friends with you again...if you are attractive and smart...wanna be my gf...im kidding...but I'm sure plenty of other guys will think that once they get to know you...to find friends you can go to an event of some kind...and when you see someone or a group of people...ask for the time...and try to start talking to them from there...feeling sad and lonely sucks...that's why I'm on yahoo answers talking to other people so I can forget about my own world...you can do the same...but it only last for so long...best of luck to you
2006-09-19 08:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by narfanator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to surround yourself with positive people. We all get down on ouselves everynow and then but it's important you keep away from negative people because they will only bring you down. I suggest joining a local club or class. Try a bowling league, or co-ed softball team. Soon enough you'll be out of your shell and doing things you never thought you would, you will meet new people and imprive yourself. Check your local city website to see what kind of events they have going on.
2006-09-19 08:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. If you have low self-esteem you will only attract people who will exploit you or abuse you. Sorry. I'm the same way myself. You have to empower yourself and not dislike yourself before you can have good relationships.
2006-09-19 08:06:25 · answer #10 · answered by martin h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋