I have a freind who moved in with her girl friend and now her kids hate her. She was able to keep them for a year before they moved out. They do not want anything to do with her and all live with their dad. This was 5 years ago and now the kids are 12 and 16. Is this common or an isolated case?
2006-09-19 07:55:42 · 10 answers · asked by Ginger N 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's an isolated case, it happens very rarely.
My son was 8yrs old when we told him and he was really cool with it.
I guess it really depends on how they've been raised up until now and how good of a relationship you have with them and what relationship, if any, they have with your partner.
My son adored my partner and the whole idea of moving in together was cool by him. My son and I are and were very close, he was raised to never make fun of anyone who seemed different to him, he has a natural compassion for others and has always been generally accepting.
So coming out to him and moving in together went quite smoothly. It's been ten years and my son never wanted to leave or move in with his father because of it.
He respects my partner even moreso than his step-mother (His father's fourth wife). He calls her the "StepMonster." I think it would be safe to say he actually loves my partner as much as any third parent could be loved.
All in all, it's all in how you have raised your child/ren.
2006-09-19 08:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is better to tell them now, before someone else brings it up, and before some mean kid at school makes fun of them for having a gay parent and they don't know what to say. Kids are stronger and better than you think. They are more understanding than you think. Unless they are teenagers, in which case they'll hate you for everything but hate you more for omissions or lies.
My kids are all fine with me being a lesbian, and they like my partner.
2006-09-19 10:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by theobromo77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless they were raised as strict christians, I would believe that there was more to the issue than just pure hatred for her being gay. I mean, if everything else in their life was peachy, I doubt that both her children would even care if she was gay. The bond between parents and their children, as I'm sure you know, is extremely strong and can withstand most problems.
So, I would say there must have been more to the issue than simply her sexuality. Either that or their father has convinced them that she is evil or wrong or just plain nasty.
2006-09-19 09:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by pceej 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is an isolated case. How old are your kids?
If they are young I suggest telling them now in kid terms what it means to be gay and raise them with an awareness. I think your friend's case happened the way it did mostly because of intolerance and probably their father putting things in their minds.
2006-09-19 08:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by winnielours44 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, this response comes to you from Canada.
First and foremost, ignore the rude comments you get as it would be apparent they have nothing to contribute to your inquiry.
I speak from experience, so please indulge me.
I came out to my wife 'PRIOR' to marrying her. She asked, why I wanted to marry, and I told her, because I love her and want to make this work.
We married, and had 5 beautiful children. One of our children passed over to the 'spirit-world' and it devastated me thinking because of my double-life, my child was taken from us. It was hard to get through, but I was able to overcome the feeling. As my wife noticed my emotions were in such turmoil, she suggested I return to my alternate lifestyle. I did.
I chose NOT to tell my children about my orientation. I felt it better that until they actually understood what I was speaking about. I feared that my ex-wife would choose to disclose this informaton, however, it was a chance I had to take. I figured, if I'm honest with myself, I felt that is good enough. On a good note, she never did.
As our children got older, they were all told. I assured them that though my orientation is different than others, my love for them never disipated nor did it ever diminish. I also assured them that they are loved more than anything else in my life. We still have a strong healthy relationship, and I'm glad I made this decision and stuck to it.
Be honest to yourself first, then worry about spouses and siblings. You will feel better in the end.
Thanks and good luck.
2006-09-19 08:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by bga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be upfront about it and raise your children to respect others. I think your friend's case was isolated and if you're open with your kids I don't think you'll have a problem.
2006-09-19 08:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by horselover1416 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a rare isolated case. The younger your kids are the more accepting they will be, I think.
2006-09-19 08:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by Scully 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should wait a little longer until they know what being gay is, but you should start opening them up to diversity, show gay people in a positive light, then wait til they are like 16, and then tell them
2006-09-19 08:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it depends on how you raise them if you raise them to love everyone then they should be okay with it but if thay are raised to only love certain people then they will not be happy if you do diff than what they have been taught
2006-09-19 07:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by Waynes Angel 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
oh good confuse them and scar em for life why dont you
2006-09-19 08:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 9⤋