Before I got married I was into Judo. I just earned my black belt and was went to tournaments and had lots of fun. Around the time I met my wife I started to fizzle out due to a combination of a bad injury and real life sort of circling in on me- job, marriage, etc. Once that was settled, my wife got pregnant and it was put on the back burner again. Well me daughter is almost two now and life is now fairly smooth and settled. I thought now might be a good time to get started again- maybe one or two nights a week. I haven't practiced Judo since 2002. This morning I mentioned to my wife that I might want to start Judo again soon. She got mad and said she could not imagine someone not wanting to spend time with their family, and that I ruined her morning. That sucks. She always told me I could eventually start again. Whats up with that?!?!? I am only ever at work, or home.
2006-09-19 07:00:35 · 19 answers · asked by Alex C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She may have had a bad day recently. Is she a stay at home mom? If she is, she probably looks forward to when you can come home and take over things a bit so she can gain some sanity. It might be 1 night a week and maybe see if it's something that you can get your daughter involved, so it's Daddy/Daughter time. I'd let things settle a little and talk again when she's in a better mood.
2006-09-19 07:05:05 · answer #1 · answered by SAHM3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because your home doesn't mean that she feels that you are spending quality time with her. Maybe she is afraid that the judo will encompass your life like before. Reassure her, see if she would like to do it with you, ask her if 1 day a week would be okay. She might be feeling overwhelmed at home, and you suggesting being gone more upset her. Talk to her, see what the problem is. Good Luck.
2006-09-19 07:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great that you took the earlier years to be at home with your wife and child and now wanting to do something for you. Not only is it good for you physically but also mentally. I'm sure it is just a slight bit threatening to her that suddenly you won't have time for your family. With your child now being two ,is there a possible way to introduce this to your wife as a family fitness adventure, that would be healthy for all. A family that plays together stays together, even so if your child has to go into supervised care if age is an issue for being 2.
2006-09-19 07:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if she might be jealous at the prospect of you having an outside interest. Is she a stay-at-home mom? If she is, she may be resentful that you can spend so much time away from home...I know a lot of that is work time, but sometimes thoughts become irrational when they are allowed to cook in one's brain too long. Sit down with her and find out what the real reasons are that she is upset...honesty and understanding will help.
2006-09-19 07:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by noambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is that your wife is tired. She would also probably like one night away from home as well, even if she does not know what she would do with her time. Can you suggest that to her? That way you are not "getting" something she is not, especially since while you are out having your fun, she is at home watching the kid.
Also -- do you get time away from home just the two of you? She might also be thinking that she would like to do things you used to do together before the kid, even if it just going out to the movies.
I think it would be best if you start with one time a week away from home and maybe you could practice at home too. And definitely tell her she can go out on her own too.
2006-09-19 07:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to get back into it, especially if it's a hobby and provides you with a good stress relief. My husband was a second degree green belt in Kung Fu before he met me - he would go 4 times a week - well, once we started planning the wedding, it got too expensive for him to keep going so he stopped. We've now been married a year and he's back into it again - and loves it. I'm happy for him because everyone deserves to do something they love, get some exercise in, and reduce their stress. Your wife needs to be more understanding of your needs.
2006-09-19 07:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with what you are asking to me.. Maybe she is upset because she has no interests that give her a break. Try suggesting that she find something creative that interests her and let her know that you would be willing to watch your daughter so she could do it or suggest that she do Judo with you.. She knew when she met you that you were into it, its not fair to not let you again.
2006-09-19 07:08:09 · answer #7 · answered by Termite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think your wife would welcome the free time while you are at your Judo class, in order to go pursue some interests of her own.
You are entitled to do something you enjoy - as long as it's not hurting anyone. Maybe you can talk her into joining with you?
Sounds like fun - and your wife is just being selfish.
2006-09-19 07:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Sensei was kind of in the same situation. He did though get his Karate Class started but man was she witch with him. Needless to say he is now divorcing her.
She needs to support your interests. It's not like your saying, 'Before I married you I dated a lot of women and went to strip bars. I would like to start that up again!"
An idea would be to include her and your daughter. I just don't understand why some spouses don't support the other! It puts a damper on the relationship!
2006-09-19 07:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isnt fair to not allow you to have some time to yourself to do something you enjoy. Its not like it would take you away from home for days on end. Maybe you can compromise and suggest she find something she could do to get out of the house a few nights a week.
2006-09-19 07:04:29 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋