My best friend, Rian tried to commit suicide because he loves me and i did not love him back.
If i wouldnt of found him he would have died that night, the worst thing is i feel as if it is all my fault.
2006-09-19 06:56:37 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It isnt your fault, so dont blame yourself. There has to be other things in his life that are making him so unhappy to try this. I hope his parents get him some help because it sounds like he needs it.
2006-09-19 06:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rian needs help - lets hope he gets it. Stay out of the picture for the time being. Maybe after he gets healed up you can contact him, but not right now. Do not sucumb to emotional blackmail from him either. His suicide attempt was not your fault, it is because he was weak and could not find a way to handle his stress. Good Luck to him and you....
2006-09-19 07:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally not your fault. I can't believe this... I am sorry you are going through that. I know my "ex-friend" tried to kill his self cause I like someone else and I was real young back then and it scared the sweet hershey kisses out of me! The thing about it now is that I think he knew what he was doing. He made sure that i would walk in at a certain time and made just several pucture wounds and one deep slice. At that time I was devastated and stayed by his side for several days even though it was not life threatening. The thing is that he has bigger problems than just wanting to be with you, I am betting in fact it has little to do with you. He has a serious abandonment problem and feels like cutting himself will get him attention, the attention from you, the one he is currently fixated on and probably thinks that once you get together with him all his misery will go away; but let me tell you it will not.
When my friend did this I got sucked in for a few days and felt bad for him... but I realized that if he wanted to kill himself, he could have did it so much more easily than just playing pitty pat with my feelings. What inconsideration and insult he had for me!!!! I discontinued our friendship and he thought I was playin with him and he threatened to kill himself again since I don't have feelings for him. It was harsh that I told him to do what he feels right, but he needed to know that I was serious fo sho!!!
He is still living 13 years later and I bet he is not totally well yet.
My advice is to re-asses what a friend like that is worth.
2006-09-19 07:10:50 · answer #3 · answered by djzlyric 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault. You cannot force yourself to love someone you don't find love chemestry in. It's amazing what people like your friend would do only because you didn't love him back. I know you do love him, as a friend, care for him, and are there for him when he needs you, but that is all you can offer him. I will not advice you to let him kill himself for not accepting the fact that you cannot love him back. I do advice you though, talk to him, explain to him as to why is it that you cannot love him back. Let him know that although you cannot have anything more other than a friendship, you still love him, and will be there for him if he needs yous. Again, it is not your fault, so don't blame yourself. Not everyone takes bad news calmly.
2006-09-19 07:22:06 · answer #4 · answered by Mstislav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooooooooooookay, #1. It is not your fault, Rian has some issues in which you can do nothing to help. You can't be with someone you can't love and if someone is trying to kill themself supposedly "because of you" that means they don't care about you at all. If someone truly loved you they wouldn't want to ruin your life by taking thier own and blaming it on you. I would not be friends with this person anymore. I had my best guy friend tell me he was in love with me (I'm engaged!) I had to stop talking to him, it's as simple as that. This person does not care for you and only for themselves. The pain you would have to live with for the rest of your life would be so overbearing for you if they actually went through with it. That is not love that is psychotic. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to, it's meant to protect you.
p.s. that "Larry" person who said he may decided you should be the one to die has a serious and scary point. Remove yourself from this situation immediatley
2006-09-19 07:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I want to tell you is that whether he commits suicide or not it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Don't let Rian guilt trip you with that bull about you not wanting him back. If he's trying to commit suicide it's deeper than you leaving him. Trust me.
2006-09-19 07:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by Marsha Mellow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not your fault that you dont feel the same way as him.
he needs to come to grasp with the fact that you are his freind and that is as far as you wish to take it make him realize that in killing him self he will be hurting you becasue he is such a good friend to have and that you will always be there if he needs you making him realize that in making the pain go away for him will only hurt the people he cares for might shake him up enough to not try again and knowing that he has that shoulder to cry on will reassure him that no matter how bad it gets friends with be there to help.
make sure to reassure him that you think no less of him for doing this because that alone could make him try again because he could be feeling useless right now and need someone to talk to look for signs of him falling back in a slump again. most people ask for help even when they dont realize it because to them its normal but to those around him they are signs of the road he is on. hope all goes will and he recovers quickly and dont just ask him if hes alright it will make him feel like a bburden on his friends.
2006-09-19 07:05:43 · answer #7 · answered by timothy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not to blame. Do not think you have done ANYTHING to aid in his depression/'self hate.
Your friend has more emotional problems than you can ever imagine. I would suggest trying to talk to his family. It will be hard for you to help him if you feel any responsibility for his problems. Try to get them to be more involved then you can fade to the back ground when and IF you still want this person in your life. It sounds harsh, but anyone that tries to guilt you into responsibility for their problems is not the most ideal friend. Careful were you walk, it is all egg shells right now.
2006-09-19 07:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by bikmountain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just help him get over this if he tried to commit suicide then theirs more than 1 reason besides u even if he says there isn't there is no trys to kill them selves over 1 thing its accumulation of things just this 1 thing is what pushed him other the edge be the friend he needs now cause maybe if theres some there who shows they care about him he probably won't do it again. believe me i know tried didn't work and no 1 in my family or any of my frnds no about it. And i still want to die mainly cause know 1 is there for me to tell whats happened to me or pretends to care.
2006-09-19 07:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by dark angle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault. He had to of had other stuff going on in his life to make him do that. You didn't MAKE him do it. No one can ever make anyone do that. It was his own decision. Just be there for him. Let him know you are upset that he did that, and that yes you love him as a FRIEND. but nothing more and that you know he will find love in another girl and that you will be there for him.
IT WAS/IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
2006-09-19 06:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋