We have a rather large group of married friends we are fortunate to hang out with but my husband's best friend's wife is a total pill. She meddles in everyone else's business, constantly is backstabbing people, and she told my good friend last week that her husband (after all the husbands went out for dinner) that her husband smelled like cheap perfume afterwards (which was a total lie I picked the guys up to take them home from the restaurant). She also gets jealous if we don't invite them everywhere (Ex: my family is taking me out to dinner for my birthday and my father invited my brother-in-laws so she called me asking why she wasn't invited)
Everyone in our group knows she is a terrible person but we love her husband because he is a good friend. Everyone is afraid to say something to the husband about her. What would you do?
2006-09-19 06:50:40 · 17 answers · asked by TinaSmiley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She backstabs by talking badly about everyone I mean everyone in our group. Oh and she also has this thing about weddings she has to be a bridesmaid even if she not remotely close with the bride - her husband has plenty of friends that he gets asked to stand up.
2006-09-19 07:08:18 · update #1
I'll give a different point of view to this since some of my other views were already dicussed in other posts - It's easy to dislike this woman for obvious reasons, but realize these are YOUR observations. She and her husband may have a very different type of relationship behind closed doors that nobody understands, and it may work for them as is. So as far as some people suggested taking him aside and asking what's the deal with his wife - He may be hurt, embarressed or insulted if you do this. This is the woman he married and more-than-likely loves. This does not give her reason to be so rude to the rest of you, though, and I definitely know a few people that fit that description - sad to admit this, but more than likely there's NOTHING you can do about it, this is her personality. Try your best to just ignore the gossip-filled rude comments, or hang around with her as little as possible. Good luck!
2006-09-19 07:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure there is not some reason for bitterness/resentment between her and the husband? Could be she is acting inappropriately because she has yet to seek a solution to that problem causing her anger. Perhaps she isn't jealous about not being invited so much as she is upset inside knowing that she is not a wanted person. Perhaps she just wants to help when she meddles, and maybe her lie wasn't a lie, but a suspicion or insecure fear (most likely) presented to you as a joke. Again, wrong behaviour, but anything can come out of a sad and bitter person's mouth that normally might not. You didn't define what she does to backstab so I couldn't play devil's advocate on that count.
She needs to see a counselor and the husband, if he's a good friend for real, needs to be taken aside and asked if she's okay and maybe "meddle" a bit. The worst it'll do is cause them to fight a bit. Sounds like they need to for her to get off her mental couch and do something about what's really bugging her!
She sounds very insecure and like she is missing something in her life, no matter how good the life looks on the outside. Like she needs to find fulfillment in other ways besides marriage.
2006-09-19 07:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God..........I have the same scenario.
In my case, I did finally get fed up and tell her what I thought of her. I then spoke to my buddy the husband and apologized and explained that this shouldn't affect our friendship---which he agreed and frankly understood knowing his wife as he does.
While we are still friends, clearly it has cooled because in the end----it's his wife. he has to side with her or leave her or pay hell living with her in the event he didn't side with her publicly.
In retrospect, I don't know that there is anything I would have or could have done differently. It's sad, it's too bad----but that's life.
2006-09-19 07:02:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ceroulious 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't say anything to the husband if you want to keep him as a friend. Not suprisingly, people do NOT like to hear their spouses insulted or criticisized.
Secondly, there is very little you can actually do. Mimimize how often you have to see her, and when you DO have to see her, deal with her as little as you can and still stay polite. Otherwise, you just have to live with it.
2006-09-19 07:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decline invitations to meet with the group when she and her spouse are invited. You win some, you lose some. Who needs the drama? Eventually someone will ask why. Be honest.
2006-09-19 06:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You either confront her husband or move on and just accept the biotch as she is:( I say you leave the husband out of it and confront her your marriage is stable its not like your husband will mind if everyone hates her confront her next time she talks crap about someone call her out in front of everyone!!! Act like your drunk and get it all out LOL
2006-09-19 06:55:39 · answer #6 · answered by CaSeY LyNe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say something to the husband. I used to date a girl like this, but couldn't see it because I thought i was in like, but my friends stepped in and I am very grateful.
2006-09-19 06:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by imnotbtami 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about her.
I would let him know what everyone is feeling.
that is the best way to go about it.
Because if you just start jumping on her, he will get upset and then it may mess the friendship up.
2006-09-19 06:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Boo8081 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to say anything. If the whole group knows she's a piece of work then let it be. You all just need to be nice to her(even if it's phony) and let her think her opinion counts. Just be pleasant.
2006-09-19 06:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by awf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Set the husband aside and have a talk with him. Sounds to me like she isn't deserving of her own husband..........or she's not right for him. Have several of your friends have a secret get together......and just sit him aside and let all of your opinions out to him.
2006-09-19 06:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋