First off i will start off by saying yes i pay child support and still buy my daughter clothes,toys, food etc. the thing that bothers me though is that her mom doesn't buy her anything she expects me to get her everything which of course doesn't bother me cause it's my daughter the thing thats does bother me is that her mom always says she doesn't have money which is a lie because she makes good money working at the hospital she says she doesn't have money but still can go out wensday through saturday buy both her sisters outfits and pay for them them to go out. should i say anything to her?
2006-09-19 06:35:15 · 23 answers · asked by dan m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, be honest on how you feel, it is both of yours, not just yours, therefore you both need to help raise and pay for her needs.
2006-09-19 06:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by LadyL 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably going to start a pointless argument that you won't win. On one hand, you're not obligated to buy her clothes or toys, that's what the child support is for-for her mother to use that money to care for the child. The other hand, I'm sure you want to because it's your child. Maybe buy the stuff, and keep it at your house?
My situation, my ex pays minimal child support, I've never asked for an increase, when he doesn't pay I don't go after him, I've taken care of the medical/dental and bills which he's supposed to. So as far as I'm concerned, he can buy the extras.
2006-09-19 13:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by tikitiki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldn't be entirely out of place to say something. What is in your decree? Are you responsible for clothes, toys etc? Usually child support is for some of that. Keep some of the things you buy your daughter at your house. Try to keep your daughter out of the middle if you do say something.
2006-09-19 13:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by porkchop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, as long as you know that you're doing your part, then don't feel bad about anything. Give her what you can afford. But, what you might not be thinking about is food, gas, and co-pays for doctors offices and little things like that , that she has to pay for. I mean, kids are expensive, I know. My ex must think that I'm this way , too because he gives me money, and I never have any, either. But, it's hard to juggle everyday expenses and have any left over at all for the basics. What she does with her own money is not really your business. But, I think you're just feeling bad because that's how she wants you to feel. Just be okay with what you're giving, and you'll be fine.
2006-09-19 13:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! If she is using the money you send her for supporting your daughter on herself or others and it doesn't benefit the child then you do have a say so!
Try opening an account for your daughter and having your child support payments direct deposited into her account. Put your daughters name and your name on the account. If your daughter needs anything you two can go and get into the account and provide her with what she needs! Congrats. on taking care of your responsibility....sounds like one of you are!
2006-09-19 13:43:38 · answer #5 · answered by kimpierce76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it matters if you say anything or not. By you doing what you do you are setting a good role model for your daughter and that is what counts in the end. She will always know that you are there for her and looking out for her. You are what dad's are suppose to be like. That is something that your daughter will always remember.
2006-09-19 14:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up but don't make a big deal about it. I am a Daddy's little girl and I always remember what my Dad has done for me. And I have a closer relationship with him than with my Mom. Don't worry your daughter will grow-up loving you so much more and respecting you and as for ex your daughter will maybe end up resenting her and for good reason!
Keep up the good work!
2006-09-19 13:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you better say something, how old is your child? it sounds to me like she is just using you, it is great that a divorced father WANTS to buy his kid something. most of the time all they do is complain that they have to. my mother and father divorced before i was 2yrs old, my fathers side of the family always claimed that the child support money was not used for me, but when i got older i understood that it went to paying a house note, clothes, food, and even my college tuition, all the things that my father was paying for keeping a roof over my head, making sure i ate those kind of things. my mother bought me stuff and she did not depend on my father, your ex is just trying to be selfish and it is not fair to your child when it is so one sided and it sounds like she should stay home more with her instead of shopping for sisters and partying.
2006-09-19 13:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by treys girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should. it is obvious that she has a prob. either she is going out to get away from life at home or worse, i am not being mean but she could have an alcohol problem. and from what you
said her sisters could be just using her. she is keeping them sweet to have some company and they are taking advantage by letting her pay for them. whats important here is your daughter so talk to your ex.
2006-09-19 13:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by Belosnezhka (aka Gex) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think that you should say something... yes you are right saying that as a father you should pay for your child but you shouldnt be expected to pay for everything... if she can afford to go out drinking and buy clothes for her family she can afford to buy things for her child to, mention it to her and if you dont get any joy then try to come to a comprimise, tell her that you will only give her so much a month, and that you will only buy things for her when it is needed...
2006-09-19 14:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by taryn3piper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't your place wait until your daughter get old enough to make her own decision on where she wants to stay. Maybe you should just pay child support and stop witht the other stuff for awhile to see if her mom will buy if you don't!
2006-09-19 13:43:33 · answer #11 · answered by brunette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋