I am not sure if he is the guy for me but only because he is a little wishy washy, its a month to month basis with him, hes good and then hes bad. But we have been together since i was 15. 5 years total and we also have a 2 year old son. and we live a pretty good life he has a good job i have a steady income we just bought a very nice house in Feb and everything could be good but of course hes still young and just turned 21. he has said something about marriage to me and i to him. I am just scared because we are so young and we have had some very difficult time together. more then a few. but we all in all are very good together. Do you think it is to soon for us? I hear once you get married everything slowly starts to fall apart i dont want that to happen?.Help
2006-09-19 06:06:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everyone of your answers has helped me more then you will ever know this is a question i ask myself each day with this man. And ive never really asked for an outsiders opinion before. Thankyou all so much. Really I mean it.
2006-09-19 07:34:00 · update #1
I say wait a few more years if you love each other it will still be the same down the line
2006-09-19 06:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by C live 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait,, I think 20 is too young regardless of your history together, Marriage is a big commitment, you are with the person 24/7 after that moment on,
2006-09-19 06:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question with 4 magical words.....I am not sure !!! That alone says it all, especially when you are focusing on all of the materialistic things like money a house, etc. NEVER stay w/a guy because of your child.............I did & it was brutal, to say the least. Age has no bearing on the matter, maturity is what counts. The answer only lies within you and maybe you both should sit down & talk it over. Above all you need a good foundation for a good marriage but you don't allow your child or children to grow up in the middle of fear or arguments. And NEVER bad mouth the other parent to the child, it only leads to hard feelings and resentment. My son just reached 23 and married a 19 year old; that could be was is right for the 2 of them; time will tell.
2006-09-19 06:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by betharoo63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done bought a house, have a steady income, a child etc so you are already a few steps ahead of most young couples just getting married. Whether you get married at 20 or 40 it is the same thing there are going to be hard times as well as good times and it is a partnership all the way. I married when I was 19 and was happy, we had a good life, I went to school and he was an officer in the Marines we were happy but we had our moments as well. After he was killed I waited a few years to even start dating then got married 5 years later and you know what it was the same thing only we didn't communicate with each other and picked at everything. Your bf is 21 and you are 20 as long as you love each other age doesn't matter but you have to be committed to each other. Good luck
2006-09-19 06:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the people involved. I got married at 20 and was married 19 years of which 18 were great. Life is short, so I say if you love him go for it. You may not be here tomorrow.
2006-09-19 06:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by miataman042 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not too early enought considering tht you already have a 2 year old son. and you have been together since you were 15.5 and you are now 20..
You should go for the marriage..You should have done that long ago.. the moment your son was born.
Considering further that both of you have a good job and in fact already have a house..
You are already stable.. that is a false belief that when you get married things will not turn out right.. that is a hoax, but problems do come in our life.
I was 19, she was 17,, when we eloped. when I found a stable job we immediately got married, we already have a son..and we were ask for a parental consent.. but our son, was all that we needed to be married.
After all lthose years of ups and down, we have 5 children and now have 14 grandchildren after 36 years of marriage life.
2006-09-19 06:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly are committed and are ready to make sacrifices as is done in all marriages, then go for it.
At your age, you haveTIME on your side to invest in 401k, mutual funds, IRA, Roth IRA, Life Insurance, Long Term Care insurance and make a very comfortable road ahead IF you guys are prudent and wise with your money and investments.
I'd seek a competent no-fee financial advisor.
Good luck and good blessings.
2006-09-19 06:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes way too young to get married. Especially since you stated that you're not sure if he is the guy for you. You're uncertain about him. You're young and still have a life ahead of you. You two have been together since y'all were 15 and now you want to get married. So basically you guys never got a chance to really mingle and date other people. I think that getting married this young will make you guys wonder what else was out there. If someone was out there better suited for you etc.
2006-09-19 06:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO, you've got it backwards, having a child together is a MUCH bigger responsibility than getting married. People who say that things "fall apart" after marriage are probably the ones who had no business being married to begin with. Everyone has the good times and the bad - it is the balance that matters. If the good times are worth it to you, then stay with this person. But if the bad times are such that you can't see yourself tolerating it for the rest of your life - then re-think this relationship. I think, by now you have a fairly accurate picture of how things will be if you stay with this guy; just keep in mind that things that drive you nuts and irritate you will still drive you nuts 5 years from now, they will not go away. As long as you can accept that and not expect him to change - and he can do the same for you - you should be safe to get married or whatever else you might want to do.
2006-09-19 06:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know that. My husband and I married at age 18. We had NO doubts, it sounds like you do. We are still married, going on 11 years later now. Marriage takes work and commitment, not someone who is wishy washy.
2006-09-19 06:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are way to young. You already have a child. You haven't live your life yet and you have brought another human into this world. Why don't you step back and look at where you are now before making another mistake in your life.
2006-09-19 06:13:00 · answer #11 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋