I threw a BBQ for my b-day a couple weeks ago so I asked a good friend to help setup for it because my wife had a couple of commitments. The day came and my friend didn't show up when I asked. Two and a half hours later, I called her cellphone and left a voicemail saying I still needed her help. A little while later, I got a TEXT MESSAGE from her saying she was sorry, had to help her sister with something and that she just found her phone. I texted her back asking if she could still come but didn't hear back. She didn't even show up to the BBQ...it was for my b-day too!! Since then, I haven't heard from her at all. She even blocked me from IM buddy list. I e-mailed her twice saying first "Explain yourself" and then "Why are you avoiding me?" But no replies. I see her sign-on briefly almost everyday, then she signs off. Should I break the ice or wait for her to? I think she's being such a coward and can't believe she hasn't said anything yet.
2006-09-19 05:35:40 · 11 answers · asked by Nickname 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This isn't a friend. As frustrating as the situation is, let it go; she's avoiding you, because she has no explanation.
If you do continue your friendship, just put her in the group of "can't count on" and never ask for her help again. Just assume she's going to let you down and you'll never be frustrated with her.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 05:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by LifesAMystery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"explain yourself" may have been a harsh start to communicating when she already told you about her sister incident. She may feel you were being inconsiderate to her situation although it was your birtday. "ME, MY BBQ MY BDAY.." she just couldn't make it and whether or not she communicated that, the issue is that she did NOT commit to the BBQ and she may have had other things going. You as a friend have to accept that sometimes and let your friends have their space although it may be that they flake out or become AWOL at times. The fairest and most compromising way to handle this is to physically write her a letter and just tell her how you felt that day and why you wished she was there as the true friend that she really is... at the same time acknowledge your acceptance that she has other priorities and engagements and you hope to make up for it as a birthday cocktail at the local bar...or something. You get the point. She's grown and not married or committed to you so she has no obligations...just the obligation of being a friend when she can. One can only do so much for others but must do everything for ones self. Just remember that you can't rely on her for somethings and that's that. Good luck.
2006-09-19 05:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by KISMET 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has some even deeper issues that she is dealing with in her life. She is also avoiding you and you did whatever you could to try and reach out to her. Leave her alone and find new friends. Life is too short to have "friends" like her and she is not a reliabe person. Unfortunately, friends come and go and that's a part of life, but true friends last forever. Don't waste your time asking her why was she a no show for your birthday party. Actions speak louder than words and you found out who your true friend really is. Leave her alone and move on. She'll get the message.
2006-09-19 05:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Lady S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some odd reason, she's avoiding you. Leave her alone, obviously whe wants the same. For those kind of people, do what I do and keep the distance. If it were intended for the two of you to remain friends, God will make the two of you cross paths again. By that time she would have a better explanation for her actions. Let time tell. Don't push it, or you'll only push her farther away.
2006-09-19 05:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by Divo Saint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has issues, I would let her go, trust me there are more friends out there.
I recently had to let a friend go, because everytime she needed me, I was there for her, I asked little of her. Including dropping plans I had for New Years Day dinner so I could be there when she threw her boyfriend's things out of the apartment, etc. A couple of weeks later, we had plans to go to dinner, I left messages (e-mail & voice mail) to make sure we were still on and heard nothing...I heard nothing for 3+ months. Then she calls telling me how hectic her life was/is! WTF!
Sorry, darlin' life is too short to keep "friends" like that...just let them go and who cares what there reason was for begging out on a good friendship, they obviously do not deserve it.
2006-09-19 05:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by auntb629 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure doesn't sound like a "friend" to me. i say let her say something to you. you have made the effort several times. sometimes, even people you've known for a long time, aren't really who you thought they were. people can really suck sometimes. good luck with your "friendship".
2006-09-19 05:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bridget 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her space
theres obviously something going on with her
2006-09-19 05:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Celicia S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is something deeper there that is keeping her away from you
let it go and when the air clears in her part, she'll come to you and explain it all
2006-09-19 05:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by koleebear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has something serious going on in her life. Maybe she's just busy.
2006-09-19 05:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by seaturtle36 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i did that to one of my ex-friends and for good reason i felt i didn't need to explain myself to her she knew what she did and she started stalking me!
2006-09-19 05:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋