I'm getting a divorce from my husband of 5 years. We have 4 kids. 8 7 6 5 years old. I want to take 2 and him have two but i dont want them mad at me. What should I do?
2006-09-19 05:22:58 · 30 answers · asked by peachtree_21915 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in the process of buying my own home. I love all of my kids and want all of them but i have to take 2 now then get the other 2 latter.
2006-09-19 05:29:33 · update #1
im gettint joint custody of all of them
2006-09-19 05:38:12 · update #2
im not sure if he will give me any of them because he just wants the money. they are in a bad place right now and i will get all of them thank you all for your help!!
2006-09-19 05:54:51 · update #3
Why would you want to seperate your kids, either you take them or leave them with the dad..The kids will be going through enough with the divorce.. They don't need to be hurt anymore.. You can take them and they can still visit thier dad...
2006-09-19 05:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? The best thing for the children would be to keep them together! Besides, worrying about them being mad isn't near as bad as it will be trying to explain why you picked those two. Divorce is enough stress on those kids and to throw separation between the four of them amid it would be down right mean.
If you are choosing to do this so that you both have equal time-why not share joint physical custody? Meaning, all children will stay with you for a period of time and your ex the same amount of time-(either 6 months each-or every other week). Better yet-one keep the children during the school year-with weekend visitation-and the other parent during Summer vacation.
If the divorce is going to be amicable-you two should work out an arrangement that allows for ALL of the children to be together.
2006-09-19 12:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by Hestia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You arent making any sense. Joint custody??
You ask how to get custody of your kids. First you say you only want two of the kid now and then the other two later. You say you dont want the two your not gonna take mad at you, but you wanna know what you should do. Finally you say youre gettin joint custody. Do you even know what Joint Custody means?
JOINT CUSTODY DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU GET TWO KIDS AND HE GETS TWO KIDS. THE COURTS DO NOT LOOK FAVOURABLY ON BREAKING THE KIDS UP AND SEPERATING THEM.
If you are in the middle of a divorce let us know. We cant answer any kind of question without any STRAIGHT FACTS. FACTS YOU ARENT GIVING.
Why dont you start off by giving us the straight facts and tell us at what state you live in.
No one is going to be able to give you STATE SPECIFIC LAWS concerning your divorce and custody of your kids.
However if all you want is some hear say.. there's plent of people to give you that.
2006-09-19 12:32:18 · answer #3 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids under 12 do not get to choose. Therefore the court will. Splitting the group up is not something a court would normally do.
It is what happens to children without parents. Usually the courts side with the mother unless she was the problem. Is that the case? Frankly I am somewhat surprised you would give two up.
I do know that I would not ever let my wife take my children without a big fight.
My question is this, why are all you children older than your marriage?
2006-09-19 12:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are female, and you live in Britain, you have no worries... you can do what you like and get what you want....
You can commit serial adultery and kick him out and still get the house, kids and most of his wages.
If you really don't want the kids upset though, see if you can patch up your marriage, unless he's one of those rare blokes that really does physically abuse you.
The best advice I really could offer is to both of you try and be as amicable and co-operative with each other as you can, don't keep score, and don't let solicitors/lawyers play you both off each other.
Keep the kids together, by taking responsibility for them, but give your husband all the access he wants.... even that won't replace what he's losing, but kids of 8 and under will instinctively need to stay with their Mum. Make sure that you and your husband both explain to the children that you both still love and want the children.
Also don't let the kids play you and your husband off each other to get what they want, as they will tend to do so... this doesn't mean they're bad, just human!
2006-09-19 12:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by jezterfezter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTLY, 4 kids are a lot, but if they were my kids I would want them to be with me...ALL OF THEM! I hope you know that if you give him custody of 2, you will not be able to get them back with out proving yourself worthy of your kids (most of the time it is a long process) With you being the mother, they have to prove you unfit to take them from you. I wouldn't suggest relinquishing custody of any to them. And if you give 2 to him, I really don't think you can do anything so they will not be mad at you. That's just gonna happen. Unless they are more fond of him anyways...good luck!
2006-09-19 12:28:21 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't split the kids up unless you have to...and then if you do....make sure the custody is fifty/fifty.....switch with him every other week. Live close enough that the brothers/sisters go to the same school. That would be great. You could switch every Friday afternoon with you ex. Don't just pick two and drive off and never come back. Good luck....
2006-09-19 12:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a mess.
there are no (well 3 facts) facts in this question and nobody can answer.
If you want to split your kids, might as well give him custody of all.
The court looks at approximately 12 factors called the best interest of the child factors. Why dont you research that on the internet. Then do a self evaluation of the facts.
Then reask the question with the facts.
2006-09-19 12:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by RandallL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to go to the court systems. to try anf get custody..first of all if you have a job keep it. and if you are keeping the place well with food and cleanlyness keep it up. and when you get into court with a lawyer tell the judge you love your kids very much but do not feel you can handle all four. i would like my kids and whatever the 2 you want names are and why.. something along this line will do the trick and help you out alot ok..good luck
2006-09-19 12:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by Da Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask the children who they want to live with? Why would you only want to take two when you have 4? Of course if they all want to live with you, the two left behind will feel abandoned and unloved. Divorce is hard enough on kids. If you leave two behind they are going to feel that the divorce was in some way their fault.
2006-09-19 12:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in GODs name would you split your kids? Why dont the 2 of you have joint custody or find a marriage mediator and work it all out without divorce?
2006-09-19 12:30:27 · answer #11 · answered by Kelly V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋