everything from sex, how I raise kids, how I clean house, buy groceries, all most everything. but mostly sex
2006-09-19 05:06:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He says he still thinks I'm sexy as hell and a good mother but he hates alot of things I do. I hate trying to do things his way.I've always been very independant until him.I cannot bring myself to leave. I can't put my kids through it.
2006-09-19 05:10:04 · update #1
he will not go to counceling,"he has no time" I would and probably really need it too.
2006-09-19 05:11:40 · update #2
He is looking for excuses to play around. Call him on it NOW before he starts.
2006-09-19 05:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by jenna b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately people like your husband usually cannot make the changes in their personality and thought process to make enough of a shift to give your relationship the sanctity it deserves. You are not in this relationship on your own- you are in it with HIM! Hence anything that is Wong cannot be blamed on one of you alone, but would have to be blamed on the "dynamic" between the two of you; what you prompt in each other etc. He is clearly having a problem with his on self esteem and cannot look at himself so he is projecting all his inadequacies toward you.
Now for my advice: I would request that he take over the grocery shopping, cleaning and that id he has a problem with sex, you both see an expert so that you can straighten out exactly what is going on. Perhaps you can mention that the more he is critical of sex, the less you desire him. It must certainly be unattractive to have someone comment and reflect badly on the intimacy aspects of your relationship.
I would invite him to get on Board the equality train and warn him that the train is moving pretty quickly; in which event if he does not hop on quickly he may miss the journey...
Good luck and be sure to take care of your own needs...whatever it takes...you have one life to live!
OH YES: As far as being afraid to leave, think that your kids are being impacted by a lousy relationship - especially if they hear the crtiicism and see the low level of respect. Imagine a son treating his wife the way you are being treated and imagine your daughter having a marriage like your! That is what they will end up with because they do tend to model themselves after their parents - you and Hubby are the only examples they will have. I do not believe in staying together for the sake of thie kids. He also probably knows you will stick around regardless; hence you need to shake his world a little.
2006-09-20 01:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he works for longer time and is late home.If this is the case the he may be saying all these things of frustration. If u r managing every thing really well then he may getting jealous of your perfection and annoying u with his remarks. Don't let this issue get bigger, sit cown and discuss it with him briefly. U will certainly find a solution which will neutralize both of your problrms. Mutual understanding is a very important things.
2006-09-19 12:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought marriage was an equal relationship? That means equal blame for problems. It sounds like everything has to be his way or it is wrong. How can you possibly be so terrible in your way of looking at everything and yet he married you and had kids with you? You need to sit him down and make it clear that this is an equal partnership and that he is need to look at your perspective of things and not see things as his way or it is wrong.
2006-09-19 12:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple's problems are not all based on one person usually. He may be overly critical. I think you should sit down and discuss this with him. Maybe ya'll need to go to counseling. Good Luck!
2006-09-19 12:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about what he thinks. You two are in an equal relationship and it shoudl start acting like one. If you don't like everything he does then tell him. Let him know how it feels to be you.
2006-09-19 12:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by babyjay_babyjae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he tell to think differently? Does he tell you what he thinks? Doing that might make you look at the situation differently. Good Luck!
2006-09-19 12:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try not to think about it to much or over evaluate things and you
will see thing alot better.it will fell better too.
2006-09-19 12:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by bob p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But it is also how HE looks at things as well.
2006-09-19 12:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's very typical for a man. It's not you. Trust me.
2006-09-19 12:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋