I lost several babies during pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my son she told me "If you lose this baby, it is all your fault". I forgave her for saying that because I know she is uneducated in this field. However, during my second successful pregnancy I didn't tell anyone (except my husband) that I was pregnant. (for obvious reasons.) I made the announcement at my son's 2nd birthday party. (Which she did not attend) and she had to hear about it from someone else. She was really upset about it. Was I wrong not to tell her right away. We have never been close. She abandoned us when we were very young and I was raised by my father. We used to go years without seeing each other. I haven't talked to her in about a year and the last phone call I made (around the holidays) I called and begged her to talk to me. What should I do?
I should add that I later found out that I am progesterone deficiant. I need to take hormones during pregnancy.
2006-09-19 04:58:43 · 7 answers · asked by TRUE PATRIOT 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me add this. Leave my husband out of this. He is in the military (thankfully in the states) and he is away most of the week. I don't need to wine to him about my problems when he is stressed enough as it is. He already knows what is going on with my mother and he really can't relate to my situation at all.
2006-09-19 11:45:34 · update #1
Just focus on taking care of yourself and your babies. They are all that matters right now. The last thing you need is stress in your life especially if you are prone to miscarrying. Focus on staying healthy and doing what you need to do for your family. It's her loss by not talking to you.
2006-09-19 05:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by caramellatte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, Mommy of Four, I must say respectively that you seem to be a Mommy of 5 (the fifth child being your own Mom, of course). I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be, but you need to stop apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong! I don't know if you're a praying woman, but if you are this would be a good time to insert one for her because it sounds like you've done all you can do. I don't blame you for trying to talk to her - she is your mom after all - but I would suggest you give it some time and then when you do go to her, don't succomb to her guilt trip on you. Hope this helps.
- Tame.
2006-09-19 12:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by tame slavish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even under the circumstances, you probably should have called her even after you made the announcement at the birthday party just so it came from you and not from someone else. That way it would not have been on your conscience. Reach out to her when you can and if she chooses not to respond then it's not your fault. At least you tried. The rest is up to her. Good Luck.
2006-09-19 12:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by kathy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom obviously has issues she needs therapy for . Please advise her to get some help . You also are right not to have told her anything because if she abandoned you when you were young then I feel she should be gratefull that you are even talking to her. You have made the attempt to talk to her now it is her turn.if she does not want to talk to you it is her problem. She needs counceling and help.Be happy and go on with your life she must not want to be part of it. Good Luck.
2006-09-19 12:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom seems like she doesn't want to ACT like a mom, yet she wants you to treat her like one.
That isn't how it works.
You didn't do anything wrong. Tell her why you didn't tell her about the second pregnancy (if she'll listen.) If she's still mad, let her own her anger and you wash hands of it.
Don't beg her to talk to you. Ask her to talk to you. After you ask, the decision is all hers and it has nothing to do with you.
None of this is your fault!!
2006-09-19 12:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom is weird..she should be supportive and happy.my advice is if shes going to be like that then just forget it.if youve tried so many times to talk to her, itsn ot worth the stress or the time if shes gona be immature about it.
2006-09-19 12:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all CONGRATS UR A MOMMY 2nd who is more important a child who loves u no matter wat( but will sumtimes act as if he or she doesnt) or a mother who abandoned u wen u were young and treats u like dirt and blames u for wat God has in store for u.?????
i hope u make the right choice . and besides why did u marry ur husband if u cant tell him abt these things it doesnt matter wat we think .. we dont live with u... but he does talk it over with him.
lots of love... and again
CONGRATS UR A MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-19 12:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by baby gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋