We were together for 2 years and I was devasted when he told me he was dying. To cut a very long story short, after a few months I found out he was lying. I tried to forgive him but things werent good so he decided to go off with another woman. I feel like telling her what a nasty piece of work he is but then everyone would think I was trying to split them up to get him back - which I dont want as I am well rid of the f***er. I dont want to hurt or upset her as she's the innocent party but I'd love to see him suffer. What would you do in my situation?
2006-09-19 04:58:31 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Our relationship was fine at the time. he had suffered some back problems and I was always very supportive of him but I also have a life and a demanding job. I eventually got it out of him that he did it to get more attention from me. Believe me, he got plenty of attention but always wanted to be life and soul of the party. He pretended to he going through chemo and was very convincing. I was so angry when I found out he was lying that he offered to pay for me to see a councellor. I think it is HE who needs the psyichiatric help.
Mel and Ed - sorry to hear you had to suffer the same thing. Maybe it was the same guy!
2006-09-19 05:41:45 · update #1
Dont waste anymore of your time on him.
2006-09-19 05:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by chickadee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do, is have someone call him posing as his doctor. You were together for two years, you should know if it a man or woman and the name, if not...find out.
Say that they were undergoing a audit with the company that handles their archives and they have discovered an older record that shows a node or something that was never properly identified or diagnosed. I would go with something... "testicular"
Set up an appointment for him at another office for a biopsy to be done, say you are his mother when calling.
Your friend posing as the doctor will advise that there will be tests needed, including the biopsy. And say that a referral will be made to Dr. so-and-so where you have already made the appointment posing as mom.
He will go to the appointment for fear of cancer, which is a thought that your Dr. so-and-so will carefully mention to your ex. He will have the biopsy done, and it will not feel "good".
Eventually things will pan out with no cancer and he will relax........until he gets his medical bill for none of this will be covered under his premium, there was nor referral in the first place, as no doctor ever called.
Ha. Let me know how it works out.
2006-09-19 05:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Laurel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him alone and count my blessings. He's a liar and clearly does not respect nor care for you, and has moved on. While telling her about him might make you feel better, what else does it accomplish? So you tell her: she either is heartbroken (which is what you say you don't want); you hurt him by hurting her (which is petty), or you do something similar and people think of you in exactly the way you don't want them to think of you (vindictive, homewrecker, stupid). Take higher ground and don't give this guy any more time or attention. He's clearly not worth it. Take some time to get over him then move on to someone worthy. If you're really happy to be done with him, act like it.
2006-09-19 05:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well personally I feel that hating him will only make you feel hurt.
Just let him be. Maybe he did it to have a break up with you without hurting you, except that he probably didn't think that you would find out. I don't see another reason for calling a bluff like that.
You could, ask his new girl to notify you if he suffers from a relapse again. Play along and see how long he can keep up with it, he might have confessed already about his misdeed.
Anyway, all the best.
2006-09-19 05:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by lkraie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a crazy girlfriend like that who said she was dying too. She was a hypochondriac or something. Anyway, yeah, your boyfriend has some issues....SERIOUS issues...he needs to go to a psychiatrist or something and try to work them out.
As far as ending his current relationship, that's really none of your business. I know he screwed you over but hey, that's what karma is for right? In the end, he will pay because each and every one of his relationships will suffer and eventually fail while you can sit on the sidelines in a successful relationship and laugh!
The best revenge is to live a good life....because you deserve better than that psycho loser!
2006-09-19 05:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by Rivrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How low can one stoop! he needs to be taught a lesson, i have had cancer but fingers crossed i am doing ok and i have another 3 years left for checkups.
He should be made to go to a hospital and just see some of the cancer patients and how they are suffering not to mention the heart break for their families it brings.
You are well rid of that swine if he can lie about that he will never be any good to anyone and i would let that woman know what he had done so she knows what she is letting herself in for.
In fact he should be named and shamed and his family should know what he has done.
What a scum bag!!!! and that's mild
2006-09-19 05:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by maxine m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What goes around comes around. This man will cheat and lie for the rest of his life. Be smug in the knowledge that one day he'll mess with someone that will make him pay big time. It doesn't need to be you, rise above it, don't approach the new woman, she won't believe you anyway, and besides, you'll only look like a jealous ex. Trust me, he's not worth a minute more of your time and just thank your lucky stars you're no longer with him. Wish you well
2006-09-19 05:05:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if I was in your shoes I would want to see him suffer too and it would cross my mind to tell her. I'm not sure if I would or not. Well I probably would but I know that it could go two ways... She could believe you depending on how you come across to her and she could start thinking twice about this guy or she could just think you are bitter and are trying to break them up. I dont know if you ever talked to her before and what kind of impression you gave her if you have. If you gave her a bad impression of yourself already then I wouldnt bother because she wouldnt take you seriously. If you havent talked to her yet then you need to give her a good impression in order for her to believe you and trust you. Play the good guy. Let her know that you dont want him back and that you are just telling her to warn her about him and tell her to follow her instincts about him if she is ever suspicious of him because her instincts will be right. On the other hand you have the option to just move on and rid yourself of him because he is a loser and not worth anymore of your time!
2006-09-19 05:21:06 · answer #8 · answered by jenn87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex lied to me about the same exact thing after also 2 years. When he first told me our relationship was on the rocks and I think he sensed that I was getting ready to cut my losses. But when he told me, I felt sooooo bad that I tried to work it out. I made sooo many attempts to go with him to the doctor and be a part of what he was going through but he shut me out only to find out that he was lying and seeing other women behind my back. Telling her about what he did to you wont work unless he does the same thing to her. You could always give her a warning if you wanted to. But you should be really happy that he is out of your life and let him be someone else's problem. You should focus your energy on getting yourself together and finding someone else who's worth your time.
2006-09-19 05:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by Mel and Ed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are well rid of the saddo, what an awful thing to do to you, lying about something like that when there are people who do actually have cancer or a friend or relative with it, who would do anything not to have it and he pretends to have it, let's hope he hasn't wished it upon himself, put him out of your mind and move on i wouldn't have anything to do with him. as for telling her what he did i really don't know, i think i would possibly be tempted, but then again, would she believe he could do such a thing, then that would make you look bad good luck in whatever y ou decide to do
2006-09-23 03:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by bluebell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may well see him suffer. Have you ever seen a person die of cancer, screaming in agony if the morphine wears off a bit? He was try ing to have a life whilst he could, and maybe protect you at the same time, you shallow, selfish cow.
2006-09-19 05:04:44 · answer #11 · answered by ALAN Q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋