My wife is not giving me anyhting as far as any emotions are concerned. I try to keep everything fresh and do all that I can, but without the effort coming from both of us it wears me out. It's almost she is depressed or just completely unhappy with the life that we have and I am stuck having to deal with it and trying t ofigure out to help her, when it really needs to come from within. I do not want to quit, but I can't be the only one trying. I want and deserve more.
2006-09-19 04:51:43 · 16 answers · asked by ????????????????? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you know what is making her so unhappy? Have you suggested that she see a doctor? Is she agreeable to trying to fix HER problem?
If you are not aware of what is making her unhappy, then you cannot be of any help to her at all. If she is unwilling to address her issues, there is nothing that you can do to make her do so.
You should try to just give her space and time on her own. Quit trying to lead her, and instead pursue your own happiness. Once she realizes that you are no longer going to handle BOTH sides of the relationship, maybe she will wake up a little.
Explain to her how much you love her and how far you are willing to go, but that she has to take action on her own. Don't give up, just let her take responsibility for herself first. You'll know when and how to handle the rest.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 05:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by joycaro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention approx how old she is. Could she be pregnant or going through the onset of menopause. If so, she should see her doctor so she can either start taking care of herself properly if she's pregnant, or obtain some medicinal assistance to relieve the menopausal symptoms.
If not either of these is a possibility, then she has simply emotionally withdrawn from the relationship and there is little you can do. Couples therapy may be an answer. But you are correct, the relationship will not survive with only 1/2 of the partnership trying.
Consider yourself fortunate however, you have already come to the realization you deserve more ...... took me over 20 years. Best of luck to you both.
2006-09-19 12:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not suggest to your wife that she go see a doctor. It could be hormones or any other thing that is bringing her down. She really does need to get some professional help. Try your best to get her to go. It may not be you or the marriage that is bothering her. It could be something from her past that has cropped up. You just never know. If you love her, then help her through this time in her life. The best thing to do is to tell her that she has to go because your worried about her and the marriage.
2006-09-19 12:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give up, go get help, talk to someone and see if there is anything left before you throw in the towel.
Marraige isnt easy and it needs to be worked on every day and respected and cherished.
Maybe she just feels in a rut, like nothing new happens, we all tent to take each other for granted as time goes by, take her out to dinner do something different and see if that helps, sometimes we just need our Princes to be our Princes, flowers dont hurt either.
If after all you try and she doesnt change, then somethings that are broken are better left broken and move on. Good luck!
2006-09-19 12:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her this? Have you guys tried couples counseling? Maybe she has some other problems that are making her depressed and she doesnt know how to express them to you. If she is depressed that maybe she should seek therapy and might possibly need some kind of medication due to chemical imbalance in the brain. Have you tried to discuss this problem with her. If she feels that it is not chemical imbalance that I would recommend couples therapy espeically if there are children involved. If not maybe it is time to take a vacation together and see if maybe the sparks can rekindle.
2006-09-19 11:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand this particular emotional struggle you are working out. I've found after discussing it with my wife, that she feels that after going to college, getting a degree, being a professional and then becoming a mommy, she's given up some of her prior professional identity. As such, she has a feeling of loss (I'm totally paraphrasing now) that she is no longer that "professional" that she once was and that the role of mommy is somewhat less important.
2006-09-19 12:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a marriage councelor. You need an outsider to view the situation. I'm sure there is more to your story, but you do need some outside help. If your wife refuses, then you know it's time to go. Good luck.
2006-09-19 11:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That may be true, but u the man of ur house. Sounds to me that u might b at the point to start praying for her. Out loud with her. Woman have a hard time not making a guy their source, but if God is there she will learn to make him her source. Just a thought.
2006-09-19 11:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by for_runner0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked my sister today a similar question concerning me & my husband. She suggested counciling, I am giving it some thought, but I am not sure if I have the energy anymore. Good luck!!!
2006-09-19 11:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by K B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she cheating? What is bothering her? You need to discuss this with your wife. Find out what is not making her happy. Then work through it from there. Communication is the key. Good luck.
2006-09-19 11:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋