My husband injured his knee and he is in a lot of pain. I’ve been there for him as much as possible. But I have to work and he is really needy these days and he is getting depressed about having to miss work. And is pretty irritable and wants me to take care of him 24/7. Anyway, he is scheduled for surgery next week. I’m trying to be patient as possible but it’s hard. We usually have a really close marriage. Any good advice?
2006-09-19 04:39:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Remember the day you married him? and the Pastor said, "will you love this man through good, bad, sick, well, rich, poor...?" Well, this is one of those times. My husband of 16 yrs. had back surgery this year - he was home for 3 months - I took care of him, the kids, the home, dogs, carpools, food, shopping, etc. etc. - that is what you do. It is not always all about you!! Now my hubby is surfing again - back to even better than normal & all that is behind us - we have a great intimacy & love to be together - you can't get to home base without running the bases first! You can do it & with a smile!!
2006-09-19 04:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by Forever 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, really talk to him. Tell him how much you Love him and want to help him. You know he is hurting and uncomfortable and really bored and lonely, but he needs you to let you do your part in going to work and maintaining the house and keeping your sanity so you can continue to care for him. He needs to do as much as he possibly can do on his own. 1) to keep himself active so he will mend faster and 2) to give you a break now and then. After your talk you need to sit down with him and pick 4 hrs a week to do what you want to do. Not necessarily all at the same time. Go get your nails done or go to the library. Then decide some things you two can do that is different than sitting on the couch every evening. If he has crutches go to the mall and get one of those electric carts and enjoy a night out. It really helps your frame of mind when you can break from the routine. You must do some things for you or you are not going to be in a good mental or physical health for him when he needs you most after surgery. I have had knee surgery before. He will need you even more the first 3 days after the surgery. You must be tough on him a little bit. Baby him a little, pamper him a little but also be tough on him a little. Some men just are not good at being held down, it affects their egos they feel out of control. Their wife is working and they can't help. Right now he needs you to be firm/friendly and fun. Good Luck!
2006-09-19 05:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by curiosity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not easy having a needy person around. You might want to tell your husband that he might need to talk to someone about his depression. There is only so much you can do. Communicate with him and let him know how you feel. Don't bottle it up and keep all of the resentment inside. It does your marriage no good. Good luck.
2006-09-19 05:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by mtv8r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look into help through an agency if you can swing it and maybe you can work part time and have someone come into help if your husband doesn't object. It's hard on men when they get hurt because they depend on the one they love and are close to and don't care to have others around. My husband is the same. My best to you and hope things work out for you two!
2006-09-19 07:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by ₦âħí»€G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The key to getting through the hard times is faith, commitment, and a lot of hard work. In this case you need faith that things are going to get better for your relationship once you survive these hard times. You need commitment to love each other and stay focused on the positives in your relationship and in life. And last, it will take a lot of hard work from both of you to make this relationship work. Hard work on his part to turn his focus into rehab and not being so needy. Hard work on your part to realize that he is going to have a lot of ups and downs during his rehab and will take things out on you, and hard work knowing that you are the one who needs to set the rules and do what is right by keeping the household running and working your job.
2006-09-19 04:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By being strong during the hard times and you seem to be doing a good job. Let your husband know that you would appreciate, if he would stop and think , yes he's in pain but so are you in a different way
2006-09-19 04:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first be honest with him and let him know that you are going to need him to be a little bit more independent, because you can't handle it. from there he can be a man, or he can punk out and make it all about him. But remember that you married for better or worst. What don't kill you will only make you stronger. so don't let this obstacle kill the love, because when it's over you will find that the love you share will be stronger.
2006-09-19 04:56:31 · answer #7 · answered by cilverpenni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are such babies. I'm sure he can do things for himself. Don't worry about it. Discuss things with him an open conversation is always the best medicine and a key to a good marriage.
2006-09-19 04:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been married? if you truely love him, you will be patient and help him through this difficult time. remember your vows, for better or worse. sometimes things come up during a relationship, it can't always be great. theres up and downs. some day, you may need his help and he will remember how you cared for him and return the love to you...
2006-09-19 04:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by givingubodyshots 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart,
That is a part of marriage....sickness and in health.....Men think highly of themselves when it comes to working......Being out of work right now makes him go deep in his mind about being the Provider......Bare with him and remember you may not be there in need but one day you will be......and he will reward you when you time comes......Be Patient.
2006-09-19 04:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋