My wife and I have always disagreed about the need for separate vacations. Now, she and her friend booked themselves on a cruise and kept the arrangements from me until 2 weeks before. They had booked it 6 moths earlier. Now, I wonder what else she has been keeping from me. She claims it was to avoid a confrontation, but the lying and deception has only added fuel to the fire. I don't know where to turn. I have read that separate vacations only work where their has been discussion and some level of mutual understanding. There has been no such thing working here. All I see is me being left out yet again. I feel that I cannot trust her anymore.
2006-09-19 04:27:55 · 19 answers · asked by grendelhawke 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She could be trying to avoid a confrontation so the worst thing you could do is to confront her.You will need to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.
Personally, I think there is nothing much that you should harp on about. She dint cheat on you, all she did was go on a short holiday and she did let you know in the end so what's the big deal? I mean, it's not the end of the world right? Worse things could have happened so look at this issue with objectivity and pull yourself together.
2006-09-19 04:33:37 · answer #1 · answered by floozy_niki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree totally with you. She should have discussed this with you before making plans. I don't believe in separate vacations. Maybe a short weekend, but not a vacation. If she knew there would be a confrontation if she told you, then she knew it was the wrong thing to do in the first place.
2006-09-19 13:07:38 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, My husband and I take 1 vacation a year together and 1 separate with our friends but I never would keep details from him nor would he keep them from me. I am sorry but that's just wrong on her part. Does she not know that communication is very very important in a marriage? Good Luck
2006-09-19 11:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs some time to themselves away from spouses, kids, job and stress. You obviously have discussed this in the past, she has expressed her need for some time away and you ignored it. You have either lost trust in her long ago or never had it to begin with. Either way, you have allowed your needs and insecurities to dominate your relationship. How else would she respond?
2006-09-19 11:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I know that once I felt betrayed and all by my X, that even tho we made it another 2 years it was never the same. Ofcourse, I had proof of cheating and some other stuff that had happened. Good luck to you!
2006-09-19 11:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by whiskeygrl319 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why she kept a secret for so long.She didn't want to have to listen to 6 months of your insecurity.Get over it, and let her have some fun. You only need to worry when she starts not being home like she used to be.
2006-09-19 11:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by joy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well give her a taste of her own medicine. Why don't you plan something with some friends? Fishing trip, skiing, anything. Good luck!
2006-09-19 11:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start trusting your wife. Love thrives on trust.
2006-09-19 11:34:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her and her friend have plans that they don't want you to know about and I think there is a lot more that you don't know about her vacations
2006-09-19 11:31:44 · answer #9 · answered by freeatlastboone 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other."
"Even lovers need a holiday, far away from the one that they love!"
Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay.
2006-09-19 11:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by Steven S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋