my life (telling me what to do and where to stay....) but I'm afraid I might be pregnant as I have like cramps under my belly on the right. (even about sex he wants to use the pull out method rather than contraceptives) What should I do, any help please?
2006-09-19 04:21:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First you should at least take a pregnancy test or confide in a doctor and get you tested.
Cramps in your belly can have all sorts of causes. Rule out pregnancy first and have a full check up.
I'm wondering why you stay in a controlling relationship. You don't sound to happy about it, so why not get out while you can?
2006-09-19 04:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by alternative_be 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know that you need to get out of this relationship ASAP. If he is this controlling with you now, it will only continue to get worse as he gets more and more comfortable with the relationship. And if he's treating you this way, how on earth would he treat a defenseless child?
You should have a say in the type of contraception the two of you use. If you are not comfortable with the pull out method, you should feel free to voice that opinion, not intimidated into submission. Especially since you are the one who will have to bear the main responsibility of the pregnancy should his method not work.
If you ARE pregnant and you decide that you want to keep the baby, you're going to have to think long and hard about whether or not you want this person in the baby's life.
You have to do what is in your heart, but I hope that you will listen to those of us here who are telling you that this is an abusive relationship and you really do need to get out of it.
If you're worried about what he'll do if you break up with him, go get a restraining order and also put in an order for child support ASAP.
If you decide to terminate the pregnancy, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice. Just make sure that you are absolutely certain it's what you want to do before you do it because once it's done, there's no taking it back
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If you decide to keep the child, know that it's going to be a long road but I know you will love your child no matter what and he/she will bring you lots of joy.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-19 04:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,I think u answered ur own question,U R with him because he is controlling. So u must ask urself do u want to be controlled or r u afraid to leave.If u r there r a lot of groups in the city to help u through this. Contact the YWCA
2006-09-19 04:36:21
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answer #3
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answered by Curious 2006 2
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You should leave this guy. Thats what he's going to do it your pregnant.
If you can take responcibility for your body for the sake of not creating a child, then you have no business having sex, and even less being with this controlling man.
You need to leave him and have it over with. Get a court order if you have to.
Its stupid to think he might actually make a good father or husband, or actually take care of anyone other than himself.
Get out.
2006-09-19 04:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him before you end up in a coffin!! I understand that this can be hard especially when you love someone, but does he love you if he won't let you be you? And you have to ask yourself if you do have a child, how will he treat this baby? if you still want to stay with this guy??? you can always use the shot or ring for birth control you boyfriend will never know if you are really concerned about his feelings?? Love is not supposed to hurt!!!
2006-09-19 04:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by PYT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something, you are too young to have a baby. I hate to say it, but If the guy you are with is a controlling freak, please try your best not to bring a baby in to this world and make him be a part of your life for ever. The other important thing you have to do is get out of this controlling relationship..you don't need that. I was in a very controlling relationships myself and if i didn't get out off it i think i will be dead by now. What i am trying to say is that when i first stat dating my X he was a little controlling..then it got worst so be careful of that, and please get out you really don't need that you can do better. There are so many wonderful guys out there...if you look for them. I am happily married now, and that is because i got out of the controllling relationship i was in. Good luck!
2006-09-19 04:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lady-bug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do. If you don't like how he is theres only ONE thing TO do. Leave him. I know its not that easy so maybe you can sit him down and tell him how you really feel and then if he still wants to be like that...let him know you might leave. My husband is controlling not bad but a little (he used to be worse) my point it i talked to him about it and he changed it up a little. If he really LOVES you he will try!! Good Luck! About the pregnancy take a HPT or see a local health dept. for a free test!
2006-09-19 04:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by CMA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out while you can. I had a friend in a similar situation she had 4 children by the time she was 21. Mean time get checked out and if your not pregnant go on the Pill without him knowing.
2006-09-19 04:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by ♥kazzalou♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Controlling men can be hard to deal with. If you have the chance, get a pregnancy test. It might help ease your mind. If you feel your life is better without him, then find a way to leave. Controlling can eventually lead to violence. Its yours body and your life.....if you dont agree, you dont have to put up with it.
2006-09-19 04:32:11 · answer #9 · answered by nindag30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to any of these quacks here, who are going to tell you to have a baby, yet are not going to be there to help you support it.
My own wish is that you do NOT bring a baby into this, and do NOT make that man a father to any child!! You are too young, too inexperienced and completely unstable. He is "controlling" which will escalate into "abusive" as soon as you are more vulnerable. It's a classic pattern; don't think you'll defy statistics. It is reprehensible to willfully and deliberately bring a disadvantaged child into the world and continue to inflict misery on him/her.
(This is to you and the pro-life deludes) The reason I tend to shy away from advising girls like you to choose adoption, is because it is highly unlikely that you would follow through with it. It is almost certain that you will have changed your mind by the end of the pregnancy, breaking some poor couple's hearts and wasting their money. The pro-life quacks selectively remember what the truth about these cases is. Girlfriend gets pregnant to solidify her position with Boyfriend, or escape into fantasy land for a little while. She comes to her sense, momentarily -- or she sees that she can get all her pregnancy expenses paid by some well-intentioned parent-hopefuls. Then Boyfriend makes promises he cannot fulfill, getting Girlfriend's hopes up while she's vulnerable . . . and they change their minds. They think they're going to "be a family." They equate their little creation with a "pet," and it superficially bonds them for about three months. Then, too late. Damage done.
2006-09-19 04:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by georgia b 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋