He wants 50/50, I would prefer 75/25 in my favor, but it sounds like if I don't agree with him we're going to launch into some custody battle which I don't want. I want to do what's healthiest for my daughter, who's only 3. Are there any suggestions on how to split up the time effectively that's best for both parties but isn't too damaging for the kids?
2006-09-19 04:18:23 · 7 answers · asked by Totalconfusion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
50/50 if he is a good father,, you shouldnt take his time with his kids away,, Remember you loved each other at some point, and for the childrens sake you should always be able to talk CIVIL with each other,, My 2nd wife did not understand why my first wife called all the time about the kids,, You had the children and need to take care of them together, Her ex never called or gave a crap about his own kids and that made her jealous of me and my ex taking care of our kids,
as for visitation,, if possible and they are older, 1 week at a time is great, other wise every other weekend and a couple times a week is pretty standard,, Please remember this hurts the kids,, make it as pleasant as you can for their sake, they didnt ask to be born
2006-09-19 04:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends how far the two residences are before making the final answer.
If you two are in the same school district, it is possible to make joint physical custody work. If it is past a certain amount of distance, it will mean a lot of commuting time for her.
If your ex is an involved parent, your daughter will benefit from frequent contact between you two. She is young at this age and has no concept of time in the real sense.
A long drawn out custody battle benefits no one and especially your daughter. There will be a lot of stress and money spent on it.
Maybe instead of a custody battle, it is maybe an idea to talk to a mediator to work out visistation and parenting issues. It can give you a better idea of the reason why he wants joint custody.
Finally, always remember even though you two have divorced, she has a right to see both parents and have them involved in her life. A child deserves to know and love both parents.
2006-09-19 04:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 3 year old little girl needs her mom the most.
File for joint custody with you having primary physical custody and let him have every other weekend. Tell him that its just for the papers but he is welcome to come pick her up as often as he wants because little girls still need their daddy's to. If he is a good man and you trust him with her then there is no reason to keep him away to much. But i can tell you from experience the week here and week here is to much and way to confusing on kids. Kids have no concept of days or weeks and sometimes they will get confused about who's house am i going to today and it does cause unnecessary stress on the little ones, wondering where am i sleeping tonight. Its best to have a constant home and visit with the other parent this way the child feels more secure and confident, and her life will have some sort of normality.
2006-09-19 04:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the judge decide. They can hear both sides and then something will get set in writing. My friends split up last year and decided to be civil and do the verbal thing between themselves and he took that baby from Florida to Seattle WA and there is nothing she could do about it because there was no written order on visitation or child support. It cost her a ton of money to get an attorney and this thing is still not solved and the baby is still with the father. Be smart and do the right thing. Your daughter is only 3
2006-09-19 04:24:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants 50/50 why not?? He is just as much a parent as you. I admire fathers who want to take responsibility for their children. Would you want 75/25 in his favor?? I think you wouldn't. Unless he is a bad father, he deserves to have his daughter half the time.
My husband and his ex split the week like Mon. and Tues. they were with her. Tues and Wed. they were with him, then week ends were Fri. Sat. Sun.every other week end. You could also split the week days to Mon. and Wed. and Tues. and Thurs. Whatever works. They did some trading around too.
2006-09-19 04:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
50/50 is definately fair, my ex and I agreed to 50/50 but we were both also very flexible. Niether of us wanted him to miss out on anything so we were both willing to rearrange the schedule in whatever way worked out best for him. Its kinda dumb for the kid to miss a family reunion because he was with the wrong parent at the time
2006-09-19 04:52:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you let him get her on Friday and bring her back to you on Sunday. That way you have her through the week and he has her on the weekend . That's when my husband gets to see his son. I also have a friend who lets her ex-husband see their son from every other Thursday to Sunday . That seems to have worked for them.
2006-09-19 04:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by MaeMae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋