I know this sounds silly, but I'm 4 months pregnant...my DH and I have been married for a year, together for 5 yearsbut the problem is I am afraid to tell my mother and father...my mother has said to me and others on several occassions that DH and I are not ready for a baby our dog is enough...we (me especially) don't have the patience...of course I know this is not true! The other thing is that I am an only child...and I think for them once I got preggers, my being a baby to them was OVER! But does anyone have any advice on how to tell my overprotective and worrisome parents...I am so afraid and everyone in DH's family knows and are constantly pressuring me to tell, which I know I have to, but I am terrified!....thanks for your help!
2006-09-19 03:23:41 · 37 answers · asked by babyondway1 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
you're mom just probably said that you were not ready based on what she saw.....The truth is no one is ready for a child until they are pregnant......I'm not sure why you are afraid to tell your parents, but you are Married........and if you want this child, which it seems you do, then you better stand up and face them.....you are an adult now and they need to know it.....Your parents will continue to treat you like a child, if you let them.......They lived their life, now it's time for you to live your life....Peace
2006-09-19 03:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the pregnancy.
You are starting down a long and rewarding path of parenthood.
Good luck !
It sounds like your parents have issues with your decisions and may not respect them. I'm sure they are doing this becasue they love you but I can imagine how it feels.
Most people who have children for the first time don;t know if they are ready. And most are a little more than nervous after the delivery when the hospital or nursing staff leave and its just you, your partner and the baby.
I think the sooner you tell them the better, waiting longer might hurt them. I know that they may not be as supportive as you need them to be but if you wait much longer they could be quite hurt.
You are an adult and the sooner they treat you like one the better. Adults come in all shapes, sizes and everything else, but yes they will probably always see you as their baby.
Good Luck !
2006-09-19 03:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by Andy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem when I got pregnant with my 3rd child (a wonderful little boy) only it was with my in laws. They are always talking about "how can you afford it?" and things like that. What I did was make my 2 older children shirts that told the world that they were going to have a new baby brother or sister. My oldest son's shirt said "Big Brother 2" and my daughter's shirt said " Proud Big Sister" ( they didin't get it for 5 mins and then we had to tell them). After we told them they didn't really talk to us for awhile. But they got over it, warmed up to the idea of becoming grandparents again, and they just adore him.
I know you're scared and that's a normal thing. They will come around , you'll see. You and your husband can show them that yes you are adults and are able to care for someone else. Grandkids always help with soothing over things like this. Inviting them over for dinner is a great idea and way to break the news to your parents. So's the gift giving idea. Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-09-19 04:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be scared!! I have been married for 1 month and am almost 3 months pregnant! My mom and others were always telling me I should wait and adjust, etc, but when I told them they were all excited and very supportive. I'm sure your parents will stand by you no matter what, especially if you are an only child! Good luck, and don't worry too much. Everything will work out for the best.
2006-09-19 04:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by lauraenic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to tell them is just to come out with it. You are a married woman, and at this point the baby is on the way....so does it really matter what they have to say? No turning back now!
Your parents will probably surprise you and accept the fact that you are pregnant and love it! Parents always try to protect their children no matter how old they are, and sometimes unexpected things make blessings for them.
The stress of worrying on how to tell them is probably not good for you or the baby. So just plainly tell them, what can they say?
Good luck, congratulations and best wishes
2006-09-19 03:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by mtcmmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 26 you are your own woman, especially if you are already a married woman. There is only one way to tell them, Mom Dad I'm pregnant. I'm only 22 and 8 1/2 months pregnant, so I know how it feels to be a little scared of their reaction but really you are their child, they will still love you and be there for you no matter what. I'm sure you will be nervous but you need to hurry up and tell them for you may start showing soon and then there is no hiding it!! I started showing at the middle of my fifth month, that's when people could tell I was pregnant without me saying anything. Good Luck and it will be okay!!
2006-09-19 03:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every parents joy is to see their child grow up in a very decent, responsible manner. A baby is always a "BUNDLE OF JOY" it may come as a shock to someone but still it is a blessing from the Creator above. Having a baby requires lots of work, (sleepless nights, juggling from different bustles of life, being here and there etc.). Our parents have done it (minus the luxury of diapers, instant milk, monitors etc.). So, telling them will be hard at first but giving them the news yourself is better than them learning from other people. Go, girl! Your heart is broken right now because there are words left unspoken, say it. Be bless.
2006-09-19 03:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy freaking hell.
As someone who is married to an only child, you seriously need to cut the freaking cord. Your life, believe it or not, involves more than mom and daddies happiness. Your an adult and they honestly have NO SAY in your life decisions.
You have to STOP IT. Iam serious. My husband and I have been together over 4 years, and there have been many times that we have been a hair away from getting a divorce.
You cannot imagine what its like being married to someone who's whole life and happiness rides on whether or not their parents approve of their decisions and choices. For the longest time my husband would actually fear THEIR reaction over mine, to the point where he would change our long term plans and goals to siut their whims, and i'd have no idea.
This is NOT a situation you want to bring your child into. Youre being controlled by your parents own insecurities, and it takes every shred of your own self confidence and flushes it down the toilet.
If you cant even face them to tell them you two made the choice to have a baby, how can you face them when THEY decide THEY know how best to raise it? You honestly think theyre going to back off just because now you're pregnant?
Yeah right.
Trust me. Iam pregnant now, and it is NOT a fun trip with a partner whos life and choices revolve around what mom and dad think.
If you want your marriage and new family to survive for any length of time, you'll find ways of letting mom and dad know its time to back the hell off, and let you make your own choices.
Please, I know what its like to be on the otherside of this situation, and its literally hell. I ended up losing my health over it. Dont put your husband through that.
If your parents dont want to accept the fact that you two are married and having a baby and are a functional entity unto yourselves, then they certainly dont need to be part of your lives. They should be there to help you when you need it, not charter your course for you.
Tell them theyre grandparents, if they want to judge the situation they can do it from the comfort and silence of their own home.
2006-09-19 03:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite them over for dinner and be honest. You are an adult and capable of making adult decisions. After the initial shock, you will probably find that they are excited about having a grandchild. Explain that now is the best time at your age to have a child. And they will be able to do more with the baby too. Don't be scared, they are your parents, they have unconditional love and will understand your desire to feel the same kind of love. It will be ok...really.
Good Luck and Congratulations on the baby !!!!
I was a grandmother at 38 years old, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
2006-09-19 03:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents always said I was too selfish to have kids. That I wasnt ready and that I need to be 100% sure I want kids. They accualy put the fear of god in me and I didnt have sex till I was 21 just casue I was so scared of getting pregnant. Im 24 and have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years. When I told my parents we were pregnant they looked at me a little funny and found it all very hard to belive. Now, both my parents are so excited about being grandparents. Its all they talk about. They cant wait. They ask me how im feeling everyday and offer to help with household chores. I say TELL your parents. They will be a little in awwww at first but trust me as time goes on they will LOVE being grandparents to there only daughters child. Best of luck to you
2006-09-19 03:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by BOOTS! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad that you cant share your happiness with your parents like this. You will always be their baby..so dont worry about that. They are probably worried about YOU if you get pregnant and thats why they seem to be against it. Dont be scared to tell them..even if they are a bit shocked at first they will come around. Especially when you put that little bundle in their arms for the first time. Go and announce it happily...you are an adult now and you dont need their approval for everything you do in life. They might just surprise you.
2006-09-19 03:28:50 · answer #11 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋