My b/f has been out of work for most of this year because for whatever reason he keeps losing his job(s). We have a 10 month old and I keep having to pay all our bills. I can't depend or rely on him for help anymore so ultimately my feelings started changing towards him. Everything he does irritate me, most times I don't want to sleep with him, and I've come to the conclusion that maybe he's just not right for me. He's working now so we're trying to get things back on track. But since then, he's picked up on the fact that I started acting different toward him. Without me telling him, he knows that I'm unsure i'm I want to be with him and now he won't talk to me. He is crushed and doesn't want to lose me, I also love him with all my heart but I'm unsure if we're going to make it as a couple/family. He wants me to be his wife someday, but at this point, I'm just unsure of him. He won't talk to me because he's hurt, and I am sad because of this. Any suggestions? :-(
2006-09-19 03:21:11 · 5 answers · asked by melcar12345 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have a 6 months old. her name is Hope. my boyfriend wants to get married also. he left when i was 4 months preg. to Columbia. He came back though, i month b4 i had her... (she was a premature baby) and we r still together. he went from job to job. i have to pay a lot of the bills also. now we are fine. he wants to marry me also. but i dont know if i want to because i am young and i am not sure if he is mature enuf. i guess i am trying to say that your boyfrind is going through a hard time. but that is no excuse to not have a job and help out. i know how stressed out it can be feeling like you are the only one in the relationship doing anything. for the sake of you baby, work it out. me and my boyfrind had to go through EXACTLY what you are going through now. you love him( you know u do, hes your babys daddy)...he loves you... make it work. i did and trust me, its worth it. theres nothing in the world thats feels better than having a family and keeping it.
2006-09-19 03:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by kariownsyouall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...you mentioned that your feelings have changed, but that you're trying to get things back on track.
The fact that he's not talking to you right now makes me think that one of his character flaws is that he tends to give up too easily when things hit a rough patch, even when that thing is supposedly important to him. That could also be part of why he isn't able to hold a job for long - things start going worse than anticipated and he isn't able to deal with it.
If you really want to try and make this relationship work, then sit him down and explain to him that you really do want to give the relationship a chance to rebound and thrive, but that he looks like he's giving up on it because he's not talking to you, so you're getting the impression that he wants you to walk away. If he really is crushed and really doesn't want to lose you, this should prompt him to start talking!
And for what it's worth, I think he's worth this one last piece of effort. The fact that he has gone out and found work again gives me some impression that he wants to try and do right by you and your kid. He's just got to learn that sullen silence is not an effective way to manage stress - especially when he's in a relationship.
EDIT: P.S. When sitting him down to talk to him, don't mention my theory that his giving-up is also why he can't hold a job. It will not be relevant to the conversation you really need to have, and you don't need to give him any excuse to change the subject!
2006-09-19 03:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no easy way around this. You and he must talk in order to straighten things out. You have every right to expect your boyfriend and the father of your child to be working and contributing. Don't settle for any less than that. Since he's working now, maybe his ego will pick up and then he'll be able to face you and have that discussion as to where the relationship is going. Hope it works out for you. But remember. Don't allow him to take advantage of you. Stand up for yourself and your child.
2006-09-19 03:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me he blew it and he knows it. Find a man who will take care of you and the child and be happy.
2006-09-19 03:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by amazincajn_99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love him, get your love...this will only satisfied you in your life..
2006-09-19 03:38:17 · answer #5 · answered by pcbrd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋