r all men the same??

Question

why do men think that when ur 7 mths pregnant and ur off work with pains,that u can still hoover,clean,cook,iron etc, then when u refuse 2 iron his shirt goes off in a huff like a big kid and storm off 2 bed?? r ur partners the same?

he says he goes 2 work so i should do everythin in the house. but it was the same when i went 2 work,i still did everythin!!

Answer 1

never all men all diff.

Answer 2

i have 4 kids and I wasn't like that, at least not that I remember.

but even with reasonably nice guys, and especially w the first kid, it is true that it weighs on you, between wondering whether you'll be a good father, what life will be like as a family, and all of a sudden your wife is mostly turned inwards towards the little baby and ignores you. At times you do feel, if not jealous, then a bit abandoned, and when you couple this about worries about your own future adequacy, it can take its toll.

I think you should just pick a time when he's relaxed, and offer to discuss how he feels a bit (problem is, if he's too macho, he'll probably decline any discussion?)

and you should make sure he understands the pains you're in - this can vary a lot from one woman to the next, and from one pregnancy to the next, and maybe he hears about friends whose wives were still working hard at 7 months. So, just explain.

also, if the shirts and some of the cooking / cleaning are turning into such big deals, and assuming you can afford it, hire some help. Even just a couple hours here and there can make a big difference.

and if you have family around, maybe the family can help - bring you cooked meals, invite you over for dinner from time to time, etc.

Good luck

Answer 3

Number one NO - not all men are the same. On the other hand ONE man can work it both ways. Let me explain myself as best as i can. I do not know your personal situation, but i am more then well aware of mine... so IF we're in the same situation this will make sense to you. My hubby and i got together, and i spoiled him for two years... then i got pregnant. It put a lot of stress on the relationship - Don't take that the wrong way it's what we both wanted. BUT he expected the same amount of attention that he had prior to me becoming pregnant and i just couldn't do it. After the baby was born it was really bad, he'd come home from work play with the baby for an hour or so then he would sulk off to bed. My whole opinion was GROW UP. The baby first and if i'm too tired for you - oh well - life goes on. Anyways... it took him some time, slowly but surely to work himself out of it. In the end we had to get to know each other all over again - it put that much distance between us. What can i say other then - old habits are hard to break, irregardless of age. If this is your situation - he (your hubby) has been the "baby" for how long? and just like bringing a newborn into a home full of siblings, the "baby" always feels put out. But in the end everything works out too! But mom has to be "super mom" to smooth everything over and work out everyone's wrinkles - which mom can't do till the timing is right! In the end for my family... 10 years and four children later... after the first baby being brought in we worked it all out and in the end it was worth every second of frustration! I wish your household the best of everything this world has to offer - Love, Health, Happiness and Success!

Answer 4

That sounds like a very selfish man. who needs to learn how to be more empathic of his wife in her current pregnancy state. However, I am sure he did not just get this way, so he will probably not change overnight. He needs to learn how to iron his own shirt and stop acting like a chid. He should learn how to cook, clean, etc. What is he going to do when the baby comes throw worse tantrums when he cannot get the time he wants because the baby will require alot of attention. He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish and self serving. No, I don't have a man like that and would not tolerate such an attitude, he would do without a lot of things not doing for himself, especially working full time as well. Good luck

Answer 5

You need to teach him the difference between a stay at home mum and a house wife. You've signed for the 'mum' bit - which means looking after and bringing up your child - not ironing, vacuuming etc! The whole reason you're on maternity leave is for rest and relaxation - remind your fella that you do plenty of hard work in growing that baby!When he huffs - it's all good practice for when the baby has a tantrum - he'll cook when he gets hungry!!

Answer 6

with my 1st child my husband was so helpful it was annoying. I was in my nesting phase and he wanted to do everything. treated my like i was made of china n might break. then when i was pregnant with my 2ND child he done nothing at all and still doesn't now. he also goes to work but doesn't see what i do as work. maybe Ur partner is the same..they don't see cooking, cleaning ironing and all that as WORK. i say GO ON STRIKE!!!! lol refuse to clean n iron he'll soon get the point. let him sulk remember your the woman he'll need you 1st!
good luck!!!

Answer 7

My husband is the same way. No matter if I ask for his help doing things or not. I had 4 children at home and one on the way and so uncomfortable and run down and yet he would come home and ask where his dinner was--was the laundry clean---why were the kids toys not picked up and so on. I just finally told him to live with it because I am just to run down and tired and spending time with my other children was more important then constantly cleaning when I just waddled anyway. I told him if he didn't like it.....the front door was open and don't let it hit his backside on the way out.

Answer 8

I am a dad of 2 and 1 on the way, My wife is a stay at home mom and that is the hardest job ever, I use to be like your partner, but have had a reality check. Trust me dear you need to talk to him NOW or he may not realize what he is doing is hurting you. I hope he sees the truth and can change like I did. Good Luck.

Answer 9

they're all the same, dear.
Just deal with it. AND they say the parenting responsibilities are 50/50/ You will save yourself a lot of time and headaches and arguments if you just deal with the fact that women are the sole caretakers. You will be dealing with your baby 98% of the time. That's how it panned out for me and most every other woman i've met ... ever.. LOL
My newborn would be fussy and I'd be on my *** all day with a baby on my tit, and he'd come home to supper on the table and look around and say, "what'd u do all day??"
SLAP! heh, not really, but i think it's hard for men to understand what we go thru emotionally with all this and what mothering a newborn will entail. They just need a full 48 hour period to just deal with baby and deal with housework by themselves..and they'll worship the ground we mothers walk on.
Good luck with this, and congrats on the precious bebe!!

Answer 10

I'm going to have to brag about my man for one second! I am 7 months pregnant and I actually enjoy aiting on him... maybe because he just got home (He's a Navy man!!!) One thing that man does is iron... and he does in perfect! Every little crease... LOL But he is a pain in the ***! It must be a man thing! Good Luck... your man will get over it! Tell him next time HE can carry the baby!

Answer 11

I'm a dad. I'm divorced now, but when my then wife was pregnant, I tried to do a lot of the housework, but it never met her standards and she would re-do it all, but I did try. Well, the laundry was OK, but the vaccuuming and dusting and the like never met with her approval. And I always did all the cooking anyway, because I enjoy cooking. I also shaved her legs for her because she couldn't bend down to do it. And, actually, all my friends who are dads had experiences pretty similar to mine. I'd have to say your man needs to do some growing up.