Have you ever had an affair ?

Question

What drove you to do it ? If your wife or partner found out. How did it affect your marriage or partnership ? How do you stop it from happening again without becoming a recluse ?

Answer 1

If it ever come down to me even thinking about it,I would have already done it with the relationship I have now.It is not good.Nothing could ever make me have an affair because when it has been done to you and you are in love with that person,it hurts.It has been done to me twice by my ex- my first husband and I was young and pregnant. Now I am married to my 2 husband.....
I have never had an affair and have been with my husband for 5 years. My husband is bitter,and has a problem with women in general and yes even me. His 2 ex-wives screwed around on him and I still believe that he has never gotten over it by how he treats and talks to me. The other day we were arguing and he blurts out that "you have to watch out for all women"..... Well that says it all. Some people can handle an affair better than others. What I mean is that it always hurts to find out your husband/wife has or is having an affair but it is up to you how you handle it and what you let it do to you mentally and emotionally.Think about the consequences of your actions first and if you donot like the outcome don't do it....Hope this helps some.

Answer 2

There's a very common reason why people have affairs in my opinion.
They are not 100% happy with their relationship (even if they may not realise it) & their partner isn't making the effort to do some or all of the following:
to make the other partner feel special,
to not make them feel like they are taken for granted,
to make them feel attractive,
to make them feel wanted & needed sexually.
A healthy sex life will combat most of these issues. If the sexlife has become non-existent (or just really bad) then it's only a matter of time until they get it elsewhere. This can apply for men & women but men are more likely to do that than women as women can last without sex but men generally can't.

If someone isn't happy in a relationship then they need to figure out what would make it better & talk about it with their partner. Do the sort of things you would do at the beginning of a new relationship as opposed to thinking/feeling like those things are irrelevant now that you have been together for some time. Don't let the passion & effort die or affairs will be on the horizon.

Answer 3

Nothing can drive you to an affair, an affair is a choice, a decision to cheat on your spouse. You can make all the excuses you want for having one, but the resposibility for having one is yours to bear.

How it will affect your marriage, hardly any affect at all if you don't mind your spouses trust, hopes and dreams, love, and belief in you being totally destroyed.

How to stop it from happening again, divorce your spouse if you want to play the field. Otherwise grow up and take responsibility for your own actions. If you are with your spouse how in the heck can you become a recluse.

Answer 4

Not happy at home drove me to it. Yes, my partner found out, and it was h_ll. But, she forgot when she did it. How do you stop from happening again, 85% of the time it will occur again. Once you cheat, it is too tempting to do it again. I have always told my wife, if I do not get it at home then I go elsewhere.
Is it right? No, it is not but things like this do happen more ways than one. It is not always the guy that does it first, but it takes two to tangle.
Will I do it again? Thinking about it because it has been 4+ years at home. Will it be right? Not exactly, but it is human to have s_x with your partner.

Answer 5

Problem is if you've tried it once, you'll want to do it again.

Yes, I have...but have been clean ever since.

I found someone who was even more compatible (or so I thought) with me. It will always affect your current relationship since the attention and affection you start putting in your affair will be deducted from your current relationship. Not really a good thing.

I don't know what you can do to prevent it from happening again. Common sense maybe?

Answer 6

I haven't had affair,but i have been right on the borderline more than once.I think it's because your not happy,with your relationship.I told my husband about me almost being unfaithful, hoping it would make him realize that we weren't happy.It didn't work and i often think about it a lot when i go out and meet other people i feel compatible with.What stops me from going all the way with it,is when i married my husband,i told him if i ever felt the need to sleep with anyone else i'd leave him instead of making look or feel like a fool.The thing is when your not happy it gets harder and harder not to.

Answer 7

i never had an affair but thought of it. I came to realize that the grass is not greener on the other side. Who would want to start over anyways. The hot steamy sex and butterflys will soon die then that person will be off to find someone else to have an affair with. You gotta think like a man sometimes...im female and im always two steps ahead of the game wink

Answer 8

This question sound like you're having one.......you know the other day I was angry with my hubby and I meet a very nice looking guy......we flirt for a while and he gave me his phone number.......I was tempted to call him.....but I analyze the situation and its no fair to do something like that if you are not happy with your partner or wife is better to end the relationship and start a new one......you never know what will happened if you have an affair........the true always show up......so is better to think before you do something you will regret for the rest of your life......

Answer 9

My ex-husband left me for another woman, we were just incompatible and wanted different things, he stopped making the effort ( a problem that broke up 2 of his previous long term relationships) and he just was not interested in anything. he also refused to contribute financially to the house hold and we both worked full time, I had no money left after paying all the bills and rent and travel costs to work. I found out he was having an affair and to be honest it was a relief.

Answer 10

Yes, and lonliness and ignorance and impatience led me to it.
I was very very sad/depressed/lonely. I was too stupid to stop it. And I was too impatient to wait on God to help me. I was selfish where my spouse and family was concerned. I ended up getting caught...seperating.....living with the other guy.....and waiting for my divorce so that I can marry again. My marriage was already a sham long before it happened. To stop it from happening, I would suggest to keep a check on your relationship with your spouse. Don't let it get stale and boring. Make sure your mate is your best friend. Not someone else. Pray about it.