my 8 year old son has been smoking?

Question

found out this morning that he has been smoking with 2 older girls(who are my friends kids) and also the little girl over the road who is in his class, he has been getting her to pinch cigs and lighters off her mum and it has all come out now because bless her she has wrote her mum a letter telling the truth and saying sorry.. he has been a pain lately and is grounded at the moment for his bad attitude and generally not doing as he is told.. i realise this is not just about him but along with how he has been the last 6 months i am now really fed up with him
in the past i have taken things away that he loves and also stopped him playing football for his team( one reason i cant under stand him smoking as he adores playing and is one of the best in the team) dont get me wrong he can be lovely and i know he is at a funny age as his brother went through an attitude phase from about 8 until 9.. can deal with most things but smoking at 8 well!! apart from sending him to borstal what do i do

thanks jont, you sound like a lovely person really good advice that thanks..
i dont know what the world is coming to either with people like you in it
oh sorry im such a bad mum letting him play just two minutes from the house on a field and yes he is the first kid to try a cig isnt he..

Answer 1

i have just read your question and your answers and i cant believe what some people have said,i know everyone is entitled to there own opinion but he is a child,i have a 8 yr old daughter and i totally agree kids of that age are full of attitude and my no matter what i say i feel like im getting no where but i am lucky my daughter isnt smoking(thank god) but if she did i wouldnt know how to deal with it as 8 is still so young and i couldnt sit there and force them to smoke loads of fags and at the end of the day if you did they may not like it then but the only reason kids do it in the first place is to impress there mates and they like to b the same,so how do you know they wont do it again? the good thing is now the mother of the other child is aware they might not be able to get them anymore so my advice ti you would be to discuss with the other parents about how they are dealing with the situation and then if you all do the same hopefully you can put a stop to it and stick togethe,I sorry im not very helpfull but i just want to say i really do feel for you and i wish you all the best with your son x

Answer 2

I agree with the top two responses, but maybe not 10 or 20.
Sit him down with a cigarette and MAKE him smoke it! Make him take a puff, exhale it then take another immediately after that. Don't let him take a breath of fresh air while he does this, if he breaths in, then the cigarette should be stuck in his mouth.
His age tells me that he's probably just lighting it and waving it around then pretending to smoke, but doing more waving than anything else.
Even if he doesn't actually inhale it, the effects will be the same if you don't let him take in fresh air. He'll get light headed and feel nauseated, have a trash can handy in case he throws up, but this is what you're trying for, so don't panic if it happens.
After he's done throwing up or says he's had enough of feeling sick, ask him if he still wants to smoke. If he says yes, give him another and repeat the process. If he says no, then you should be home free.
My parents did this to my brother when he was five. He threw up and hasn't touched a cigarette since and he's 53 years old now.

Answer 3

Oh dear - every parents nightmare, and 8 is certainly young for this sort of problem.

I would come down very hard on him over something like this - all the usual deprivations. I would also stress how much damage he's been doing his body - perhaps you could get his football coach to have a word.

The problem with this age is that they do seem to thing that they're grown ups, when in reality they are still only babies. You should tell him that, for the forseeable future, you're not willing to let him out of your sight - if he can't be trusted to behave when you're not around then he'll have to stay in.

Good luck - this is a difficult one.

Answer 4

He is only 8 years old. It sounds like he is ruling the roost with his attitude.

Separate him from those kids for a start. Get him on a stop smoking program. Get him involved is sports again. Use grounding if you have to. And, at 8, I would not rule out a good spanking. You are the adult; he is the child. But each child is different, so you will have to choose.

Just do something though. Good luck.

Answer 5

oh dear nip this in the bud as soon as possible......first off he's in a football team...smoking will slow him down, he wont be able to participate, and tell him this....i am with you on this subject... my son started smoking at a young age due to peers pressure...he was with a bunch of kids who smoked and drank (all fo them under 16 years old)...so he had to do what they did to be part of the (clique) i didnt ground him or punish him when i found out but what i did do was give him the SSS treatment.. (short sharp shock) i got him to sit at the computer...he was 13 then 18 now, and i went to a lung cancer website which had pictures of people suffering from it, also pictures of the lung with cancer, this may sound gorey and a bit wierd but it worked....it was a real eye opener for him, he never smoked from that day on and still doesnt now...he is also athletic, he loved football or any game that used up alot of energy...once he saw what lung cancer looked like he soon changed his mind, now he is training to be a gym instructer and i know he will succeed, he's a positive kid, he dumped the ones he was hanging around with, made new nice friends who didnt influence him into doing stupid things....so whilst your son is still young show him the damage it can do...he may also get to tell his friends about it and have them stop too......the SSS does work...show him the reality of smoking...he just thinks it's fun because all his friends do it...good luck

Answer 6

A couple of thoughts... why take away something (football) that's actually healthy for him? If it's meant to be punishment, why not take away something he likes that's not good for him (TV maybe?)...Sports is actually a good way to get kids to NOT pick up the smoking habit since they're going to realize eventually that their performance will be impaired by diminished lung capacity...

At 8, you have a good chance at scaring him straight with pictures of what smoking can do to healthy lungs...(gruesome pictures
available over the internet)...

Answer 7

Perhaps you should show him a few web sites that discuss the effects of smoking and how cancer attacks and destroys the body.

You could also point out that people who smoke are unable to do so in restaurants, pubs etc, and so when he gets older (if he's still alive), he'll have the inconvenience of having to go outside all the time, while his mates are enjoying themselves in the pub/restaurant etc.

Answer 8

talk to him CALMLY, no matter how fed up you are with him... he's just 8 years old after all... don't go yelling at him because you might even make the situation worse... ask him what's the problem and don't go making faces if ever he decides to tell you... get through it together... also, explain to him that smoking is dangerous and is not cool at all, even for his age... he can get lung cancer... if all else fails, take him to the school counselor or some other psychologist... it doesn't mean he's crazy or anything, but it can help loads... ask around for a good psychologist, especially one who deals or has dealt with kids before... GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

I agree with the others. Give him a pack of 20 and make him smoke every single one, one after the other. Then you can send him to his room. Make sure he has no form of entertainment in there i.e. games/TV - Keep it that way for the next month!

Answer 10

It's out of curiosity that they did it and it's hard not to do something at that age if your friends do it. I remember stealing cigarettes off my gran when I was 7 and going down a field to smoke them - just because I wasnt allowed to do it.

You need to explain to him that it's bad for him, but don't get too angry. If you do, he'll just smoke more to spite you.