we have discussed it but he doesnt take it seriously. we live in my house and have done for a long time now. things have progressed to the point marriage is the sensible next step (we already act married and are a strong couple). also, i have a health problem which means i need to have children earlier rather than later. im worried if i wait for him this will never happen and have discussed this with him. i love him but dont want to give up on my dreams and regret it. we have been together 6 years and i thought wed be engaged or married by now. help! any suggestions how i convince him?!
2006-09-19 01:51:19 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start talking about kids instead - you don't have to be married to have those. If he doesn't want kids either, you need to move on.
2006-09-19 01:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Catmmo 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Give it some time, he might be afraid that if the two of you were to marry, the relationship that the two of you have with each other would probably end! You know,a lot of people feel that way! So if the two of you have been very happy together in these past 6yrs and he would much rather live together like Husband & Wife but he doesn't want to get married to you right now, then you should just wait for one more year and then the two of you will have a common law marriage!
Good Luck!!!!!!!
2006-09-19 02:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is marriage so important to you? If you know the answer then tell your partner. Also if you feel like you want to have kids soon then find out how your partner feels about having kids within the next say year or two.
If he wants kids soonish too then express your need for marriage before you start trying. Eg you want the same surname or your wont feel like a proper family.
Giving a partner reasons why you should marry will bring him round sooner than just saying 'you want to'.
At the end of the day though, he may be dead against marriage - but try to find out why this is so as it will help you accept it more.
Lots of families are raised out of marriage, so if he says no to marriage then you could still have kids now and approach the subject of marriage later.
2006-09-19 01:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by tspoonteddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest just enjoy the time together, dont get married because its the next step. You can still have children without been married. If you act like a married couple and are strong you have more than most so for the moment dont rush him(i know your not - 6years is waiting) but at least until its what you BOTH want. Keep what you have, you are very lucky.
2006-09-19 01:54:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agee with what the other have said, if things are so good that you already act like a married couple then why the rush. I think it is a fact that some people go through life not wanting more commitment than they can comfortably handle.
Just give it time, you live with each other and have done for a while so, just give him a chance, he may feel like he is being pressured into something that he may not feel is right for him at the moment.
2006-09-19 03:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by ceecee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him u need 2 have a serious talk with him + it means alot 2 u, if he isnt wanting marriage then he isnt wanting it, u cant force him.maybe he'd rather just the two of you stayed together as a married couple than actually being a married couple, if u know what im getting at.if he isnt willing 2 listen of makes fun of the whole situation then maybe you should forget about him + move on + make your dream come true with someone else, someone that understands u.
good luck
x.niks.x
2006-09-19 02:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by lil niks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U waited for 6 yrs b4 u could start talking abt marriage? Guys dont like the sound of that after living home with women for so darn long. Why is it so impprtant now. U need to try a new strategy hon!
goodluck
2006-09-19 02:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would concern me too. Maybe he is just one of those late bloomers. Maybe he is scared or just playing the hard to get game a little too long. I'm not saying call it quit's but maybe you should put your foot down. It sounds like you have respected his need for space and have patiently waited for that next step. I understand he is like your whole world and then some but I'm sure your parents told you " don't let anyone or anything stop you for having your dreams come true." Maybe you should try a little reverse psychology on him. you could probly research some good psychology tips online. Good luck!
2006-09-19 02:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by Fuel632 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want to get married i know loads of people who have families and houses but are not married, because it costs too much!! ask him if he wants kids and explain that your biological clock is ticking!!
You need to have a serious talk about the whole thing and you need to make sure he knows it is serious
Good Luck
xxx
2006-09-19 01:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by aimzinch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my b/f for 6yrs. We live, and act like a married couple, and I want to get married, but he's not ready. His reason is that he's not finanically ready for a family. I think guys put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the sole provider for their family. I know he loves me, and wants to marry one day. I finally realized that there should be no rush to get married if you know your going to spend the rest of your life with him. Kids are important, but you can also adopt a child who needs someone to love and care for them. Quit stressing him. He shouldn't need to be pressured into marriage.
2006-09-19 02:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by nautical_star8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok the real question you need to be asking is . do i want him to marry me because hes ready . or do i want him to marry me because I'm ready . it has to be an equal thing . he has to be sure rather you been living together 6 years or not . dont pressure him . its better that he comes to you . tell him your serious about your feeling of marriage . but let him make the decision for himself to go forward . dont pressure him . if thats not good enough for you then leave him .....
2006-09-19 01:57:30 · answer #11 · answered by ohio_rose1972 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋