Is Competitiveness a Good Thing? Explain.
For some, competitiveness is a pesky bother, while for others, it is a way of life. Sometimes it is only seen on the field, while other times it appears in all aspects of life. Either way, competitiveness can be one of the most beneficial factors of life. It helps people push it to the next level, bettering themselves, as well as others. It is true that competition can get out of hand, and can often cause many problems between people, but more than often it is used in an optimistic way. Competitiveness also provides the determination, enthusiasm and ambition that are required to be successful.
Any suggestions? Is all my grammar correct?
Thanks. =)
2006-09-19 01:35:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
The edited version:
For some, competitiveness is an irriation, while for others, it is simply a way of life. Sometimes it is seen on the sports fields, while at other times it appears in all aspects of life. Either way, competitiveness can be one of the most beneficial factors of life. It helps people push themselves to the next level, bettering themselves, as well as others. It is true that competition can get out of hand, and can often cause many problems between people, but more than often it is used in an optimistic way. Competitiveness also provides the determination, enthusiasm and ambition that are required to be successful.
2006-09-19 01:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I figure I'd confuse you too...
It's a re-write, and I am always re-writing author's works - I'm an editor a few days a week...
Competitiveness can be a pesky bother, but for some it is a way of life. Sometimes it is prominent on the playing field, and other times weaves its way into all aspects of living. Wherever it is found, competitiveness can be a most beneficial factor of life by helping people to push them to the next level and allowing them the opportunity to better themselves in the process. It has been found true in some circumstances that competition does may get out of hand and cause problems if not used in a more optimistic way with the right supervision, but with competition we learn the determination, enthusiasm and ambition required to be successful in our lives.
2006-09-19 08:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Bogie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First rule for young writers -- get rid of as many commas as you can. They are often unnecessary. I would change the paragraph as follows:
For some, competitiveness is a pesky bother; for others it is a way of life. Sometimes competitiveness [pronoun goes to the last proper anticedent, in this case, "life", so change to proper noun] is only seen on the field, while other times it appears in all aspects of life. Either way, competitiveness can be one of the most beneficial factors of life. Competitiveness [same comment] helps people push it to the next level, bettering themselves[no comma] as well as others. It is true that competition can get out of hand [no comma] and can often cause many problems between people, but more than often it is used in an optimistic [is this really the word you want?] way. Competitiveness also provides the determination, enthusiasm and ambition that are required to be successful.
Why not:
It is true that competition can get out of hand and can often cause many problems between people. Often, competition can be used to bring people together as both teammates and competitors. Competitiveness also provides the determination, enthusiasm and ambition that are required to be successful.
2006-09-19 08:48:31 · answer #3 · answered by robert_dod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your grammar is very good. If you want ways to improve your answer, I have a few suggestions. If you are going to use the term "pesky bother" then I would say "competition is a pesky bother" rather than competitiveness. I would suggest finding another term for "pesky bother" though. You do not need the comma after "while for others. You do not need the comma after "bettering themselves. How about replacing "optimistic" with the work positive. On your last sentence, it should be "is" rather than "are." i.e. Determination is required, enthusiasm is required, etc. Hope this helps.
2006-09-19 12:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks right. I'm not sure if there's a limit as to how many "commas" you can use per sentence though. Maybe you could subsitite, "and can often cause..." to, "and more often than not can cause many problems..."
I'm not a grammar pro or majoring in it, but I'm anal about grammar. Hope it helps.
2006-09-19 08:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
couple punctuation things. i would put a semicolon (instead of comma) between bother and while in the first sentence. i would put "push it" (to the next level) in quotations.
2006-09-19 08:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. I would recommend not using the word "other" or "others" quite so often.
Well Done.
2006-09-19 08:38:17 · answer #7 · answered by MoMattTexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow its good... Nothing wong for me but my suggestion is not to put very deep english words I mean like you must put words that is pleasing to sound.
2006-09-19 09:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by dog questions 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's now wrong wi' it!
2006-09-19 08:43:24 · answer #9 · answered by Michael E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur grammar is absolutely correct.......... !!!!!!!!
2006-09-19 08:40:35 · answer #10 · answered by natasha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋