oh dear, i dunno?

Question

ok ok, right my girlfriend goes to uni this Saturday. now its a close uni, so distance wont matter, but its settling in, i dunno it feels weird, i don't know what to feel, i'm happy for her, and i'm sad but i don't know why, i know she's not going to cheat, i know she loves me and she doesn't drink, so there's unlikely to be any cases of drunken flings, i want her to make friends, but at the same time, i still want to be part of her life, she's told me she needs me, and uni wont split us, i trust her in that, i guess i need to get it off my chest n talk, i don't know why i feel sad, plenty of people must be going through worse than me, with splitting up n what not, we're not, i dunno why i worry, i love her so much, but i feel i may have to take not just one step, but a few steps backwards, and let her lead her life, but i still want to be a big part in her life, why am i worrying :(

its not long distance - read the first part - she's not going far away, she'll be 20/30 mins drive away

thank you guys - i'm already feeling better, though i'm not paying any attention to barry or whoever said we wont last thru uni and she'll be banging anyone

she's not that type of girl. and i knw plenty of relationships that last thru uni, so you must just be some weird girlfreind stealer

i dunno if or what difference this makes, but we're only a year apart age wise, cept i chose to work, not go thru uni, thats why i'm probably a little naive to it all, as i've never experienced it, i'm 19 she is 18

Answer 1

You hit the nail on the head there,to take the one or two steps back for her to lead her life.Have no fear,you both come across as sensible,intelligent,decent people,just keep working it together,support her and praise her achievements(ask lots of questions!!)when you visit her,and you will both be OK.Its only natural for you to worry at a time like this,but your g/f will be worried too,and not just about uni-she will be wondering if she is still a big part of your life also,so advice to you would be to augment the bond you obviously have for each other,then let her focus on the future study ahead of her.

Answer 2

It's natural to feel as you do, after all she is entering a whole new world without you. And yes, she will make lots of friends and get caught up in university life. If you love her as you say you do, you will let her lead this new life and get involved without you. I don't mean to break up or anything, but to not visit her while she is away, but restrict seeing her when she has her term breaks, otherwise she is going to be a bit of an outsider with her college lot. She needs to feel she is accepted by them and fits in. What does she plan to do at weekends? Is she coming home or staying at college? If she is coming home, then you could have a rule that you don't see her during the week. That doesn't mean you can't contact her via phone or text or email. Maybe it is best to ask her what she wants to do re. contact, but bear in mind that this could change once she has assimilated to college life. I am sure that if your love for each other is strong it will all work out fine. You probably feel sad because you are not sharing in this new life with her and it feels like a rejection or bereavment. Good luck and I hope you both adjust to this.

Answer 3

U r worried becoz she is goin through a new step and might change her. Gals go through (as well as boys) some changes at uni coz its a difft experience all together But just try to relax, spend time with her and communicate. if things are meant to be, u will stay in love if not, u will also get used to that and move on. Live ur life n set her free, no wrries or such. am sure she n u will be ok. All the best

Answer 4

at first u will be sad an it will take a while, the thing is that you love each other, u r used to seeing her all the time, an now u cant, im sure u will talk on the phone every chance u get. so try not to worrie ok, an just seeing her on the weekends is ok cause then u will hve more things to talk about, an the love will be stronger then ever, hope all goes well for you both

Answer 5

You heard the saying, "set her free and if it was meant to be she'll come back to me?" Give her some space and if the two of you are meant for each other she will not cheat on you. Being it is only a 20 or 30 minute drive, it shouldn't seem like she has moved far, far away, so it will be easy for the two of you to continue your relationship.

Answer 6

its a change for you both and alot of people dont like change and they dont know whats going to happen. You know you can trust her and you will still each other but it will take a while for you guys to get used to her being. You just gotta support her when she needs it, she will make new friends and thats good but also gives you time to go out with friends etc.

Answer 7

Its NOT long distance.

"now its a close uni, so distance wont matter"

Just hang in there! Your feelings are shared by your gf. Visit often and enjoy weekends together as much as possible.

Answer 8

don't worry man if the uni wants to make u devide let it do if she wants to forget u just with going to uni. let her do it it's better to seprate now
but if u know that she loves u y r u worry there is nothing to be worry about
sth else it's even good coz u can test her and know that how much she is reliable

Answer 9

i should imagine you feel like its going to be a big change and thats why your worried about it. its only natural. Give your self a break, you've every right to feel a bit apprehensive. I've known relationships to last through uni so don't worry. just give her her space and see what happens. good luck!

Answer 10

To be honest with you, the chances are you wont last. She will most likely be sleeping with someone else before long. Don't kid yourself she wont she will have a new group of friends no need to conform to her old moral code. I banged loads of girls who had boyfriends back at home when I was at Uni. There are the odd relationships that last through Uni but don't expect it to.