I have a question. What would you do if you had a friend that kept her house a total mess? to go over there is horrible. the smell makes you want to vomit, fleas area all the time biting you, and you cant step anywhere without having to walk around things. i have cleaned the house for her in the past and then it has always gone right back to hell. i feel rude by not going over to her house and always having her over to mine, but i cant stand being over there. should i say something to her? what should i do? i dont want to trash our friendship. let me know what ya think!
2006-09-19 00:18:39 · 15 answers · asked by ? 2 in Home & Garden ➔ Cleaning & Laundry
i have tried talking to her about it. she is in fear of losing her children over this. her house is sooo messy that cps has threatened to take the children away. that is why i have cleaned the house for her. but this still doesnt motivate her to keep it clean. she lets the pets relieve themselves all over and she wont clean it up. thanks for the advice so far though.
2006-09-19 01:26:17 · update #1
I kind of had the same thing happen. Only thing was, I wasn't the only friend that thought her house was filth. So, we all kind of explained it to her, it wasn't something that she didn't already know. If you guys have a true friendship, you should be able to talk to your friend about it.
I wouldn't be cleaning her house for her again though. What's the point? I would just say, "you know from now on if you could come to my house that would be great. No offence but the flea bites are driving me nuts. I don't want to hurt you feelings, I'm just being honest with you."
Good Luck!
2006-09-19 00:29:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ohsooocute 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to sort out her place. If its such a good friendship she would agree and keep her house to standard. Take my advice and DONT tidy it up again. It is not your duty to tidy up someones elses house. TRUST ME as my mum had a friend exactly like this she used to tidy up her house because it was the same and she even looked after her kids until about 12-00 at night and she only told my mum she is taking the pi out of her when it was the other way around. All she did was lie to my mum is that a friendship?
2006-09-19 00:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to stand by and watch a friend be this way.
Maybe she needs a maid service to come in and help out. Maybe just 2 times a month.
Some people just cant help that they are bad house keepers.
Sometimes there are deeper problems and need to have mental help. A chemical imbalance in their brain.
I feel for you. Maybe for now you will have to go do things out side the home.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 01:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If having the police threaten to take away your children isn't enough for her to keep a clean house, nothing you say will help. Maybe submit her to Dr. Phil.
2006-09-19 04:04:49 · answer #4 · answered by jan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept your friend as she is, or end the friendship if her house bothers you so much. She obviously doesnt mind the filth but I would point out how unhealthy the fleas are for her as well as her pets and suggest flea bath for the pet and exterminator for the fleas..
2006-09-19 00:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by kiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend needs professional help. she's endangering her kids and that's why they threaten to take her kids away. obviously, she wouldn't want that. the people who are threatening to get her kids out should be made to realise that this house cleaning situation is just an indication of deeper problems, for reasons you've not been able to say in your question. they should find out what kind of help she would need. you need to help her realise the root of this problem. is it depression? only in finding out why she lets these things happen will you be able to help her out. words are cheap, if you just tell her her house is filthy and she should do something about. what is preventing her to exercise her responsibilities ? perhaps telling her to discuss this with the people who are threatening to take her kids away and ask their help in the area where she needs it.
2006-09-22 03:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by frenchkiss1708 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried talking to her and not gotten anywhere and want to keep the friendship, when you go visit, talk about what a nice day it is outside and "why don't we sit outside today?" Maybe that will work. I mean, if you have talked about the mess, what else can you do?
2006-09-19 03:28:02 · answer #7 · answered by Slam64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may be extremely depressed, talk to your doctor about what is going on and see if he has any ideas on what to do next. Either way those children should not be living like that. I hate to say it but maybe cps should take the kids. All that filthy is only going to get them sick and what is she teaching them about hygiene?
2006-09-22 02:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Diana H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it to her slowly. DON'T be too straight-forward like, "Girl, Your house reeks."
Be sensitive and try something like this, "Look, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but your house is quite messy, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Would you mind cleaning it once it a while?"
2006-09-19 00:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by Bl00die 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You friend has all the behavior of a drug addict, tell her to get off her butt and keep her house clean, if you lose her , you ain't lost much.
2006-09-19 00:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋