Last weekend, during an argument, my partner of 5 years told me that I was boring in bed, that I never do anything and that he has to make me do anything at all. I've never ever critisised how he is in bed and I am still shocked that he would say that to me. It's not like I wasn't nasty during the fight it's just that I believe there are some things you shouldn't bring up when fighting. I told him that if there was an issue he should have mentioned it to me when we weren't arguing, so then he said sorry, he never meant it and he was only trying to hurt me back. The problem is now I feel really stupid and like i'm crap in bed. What am I meant to do?
2006-09-18 23:57:28 · 19 answers · asked by Violet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Men don't realize when the words come out that a women really takes it to heart. Women are more careful even when angry not to hurt the feeling of their lover about personal issues. Take a moment and calm down. Wait about a week when feelings settle. Talk to him about this issue and let him be honest about your love making. Don't get mad when he tells you whats really on his mind. Never talk about problems in the bedroom. Then when his done. You tell him if there is anything his not doing to please you. Then when your done have a wonderful love making session and try the things each of you discussed. Always keep a open mind and really listen to him. The best thing is to talk things out when your both calm. If you have been together for 5 years I know you can work this out. Forgive him men can be little boys a lot of the time.
2006-09-19 00:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, what your fiancee said was really rude but he apologised, and that is a good thing. However, such a comment has a way of eroding your pride. You may never be at ease during sex because your mind has been corrupted. But it is you to question yourself if what he said holds some water - "that he has to make you do anything at all" can only be answered by you. Take it as a cue and try to improve your sex live. It does not mean that he does not love you, actually he does and that is why he apologised. But some guys find it had to discuss sex. So be more daring, be a bad girl in bed and spice up things. Its another way of showing him that you love him enough to want him like that. You could do some research; buy the kama sutra and explore. You could also talk about it and share/try out each other's fantasy.
It is up to you to take the negative comment and turn it into something good.
Good luck and God bless you
2006-09-19 00:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by tomnjerry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know people do say alot in anger at times,just to hurt each other.But forgiveness is something that should be given in this situation.It's not like he's having an affair.But If he brought this to your attention then maybe there is a few hidden things about your sex life that you need to know.A good sexual connection is a requirement in a long term relationship..I would say to him....I didn't realize you thought I was boring in bed...But I need to know what I don't do that you wish I would..and go into detail about some things you would like to try...Everyone holds back on things they would like in the bedroom some are just more out to say them...I wouldn't pay that much attention to his rude comment,he was angry...But I think if you have been together 5 years then he must like something about that "bedroom life"...So in my opinion just take a minute to realize he isn't perfect and talk to him about things you BOTH can improve on....
2006-09-19 00:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by crazyinlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...get a second opinion...funny
anyways i think that he wasnt just saying that, thats not something you make up during a fight. if you guys are getting along, then start tryin to become more outgoing and sexual and sensual. if you two have been together soo long and are fighting and he is saying that he could be the type to cheat. so you could try different things in the sack- like if he has any fantasies or just become way naughtier....you have nothing to lose except your partner!!!
2006-09-19 00:04:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no. Thats just not right. You don't say that to the person you love. I've had issues with sex (body issues etc) and my boyfriend has been so patient with me. He never criticized or made fun of me. He tells me that its a mans job to try to please a woman in bed because its harder for us to find pleasure--whereas men come so easily. I would tell your fiance to go f**k himself!
BTW, if he's unsatisfied how do you know he's not cheating on you? Sorry to bring that up--I'm just naturally suspicious. Besides you don't deserve a man like that!
2006-09-19 00:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by dorko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of all we shud never ever say things we did not mean....but that usually does not happen when ever there is a heated argument.....but at the same time dwelling on the past is not too healthy......there may have been times when he might have appreciated how responsive you might have been.....so make a deal....that neither of you would talk crap even in the worst of moods.....walking out is no solution.....and if the situation persists u know what to do.
2006-09-19 00:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by uknownotlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it doesn't feel good on your part for him to bring up together with his emotions but if u do love him, do let him know how he feels about u, the unhappiness so that both of u could try to sort out the differences for the betterment of this relations. nevertheless, unless u are married pls refrain sex. try to build relationship based on mutual respect, love instead.
2006-09-19 00:13:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well , now that he's totally shot your self confidence, and you feel so sexy..... Work your butt off to give him the most mind blowing night ever, and while he is still in awe of you tell him your leaving him for the guy that taught you all your new tricks.
2006-09-19 00:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Skanky McSkankypants 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump that jerk. He does not deserve you.
2016-06-18 02:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Jorge 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't satisfied the sex life .why don't you tell your feeling to him?..(or just say you want some new style..,)
..learn the skill is the way to slove it....
you may...be active...such as a skill that you "sit " and push your
body up and down. to his ...let u feel....."exciting"
maybe see some Japan av...or read some sex book teach the styles
of making love
2006-09-19 00:06:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋