how to make peace with un-fair condition?

Question

My illness make me worse from day to day. I have nearly exhaust all my strength to fight my illness, and I'm dying. Everyone said that I have to make peace, but I can't. I'm just a teenage girl and should have a long time to life. Just like any other girl, I dream to have a boyfriend, and get married. And this is really not fair.

Now I hate everyone around me, I hate them so much, hate them very-very much. This is really sucks. But I feel regret to be angry with them, tell how can I make peace with something very unfair like this?

Answer 1

you dont have a choice.. the only way of making yourself feel better is to accept that fact...though it hurts, there is nothing you can do about it... it is not really that unfair.. you just think it is that so.. but anyways, it is up to you to decide.. im patricia hello...

Answer 2

You may need a counselor or support group to help you accept your situation. No one can say how they would react until they are faced with death themselves. But being angry at your loved ones is misplaced aggression and it's not healthy for anyone and a lot of wasted time that you all could be saying how much you love each other. Take your mind off of you -- do something for someone else to make them feel better.

I wish you peace and know that Hell is really here on Earth and going Home has to be better. We don't always get what we won't in Life, but know losing a child is the worst thing to go through.

Answer 3

I really have no answer for you hun.This is the most tragic piece I've ever seen wriiten on 'answers' and I have no idea what to say,except that the people who love you,understand why you are feeling such hate.I think a girl in your situation has a RIGHT to feel angry.But the problem is an age-old one.You always take it out on the ones you love.Talk to them,or even your Doctor or someone you can trust and knows your situation well.
I'll give you a little Native American Indian prayer for peace if I may

May the music of the meadows
With their songs of Silver Streams
Bring Sunlight to the paths you walk
And Music to your Dreams

Good luck Young Lady

Answer 4

I'm sorry. It hurts to be in such a situation, especially when young and many of your dreams have not yet been realized and you feel like your body has turned against you. And chronic pain makes it hard to be positive.

It won't help the feelings depart, but your reaction is not odd nor do they make you a bad person. It's a very human reaction to feel angry or even hate those who seem to have random good fortune while you (out of seemingly bad luck) are suffering a terrible misfortune and feel deprived of what the very pleasures they often do not think twice about.

So you're right. Everyone has dreams, and there are things you imagine you will not get to experience in your life, that you badly wanted to, while others will. And it's not fair.

But I think you know there is more to it than that, because you feel regret over your hatred. At some level you do not want to hate, and you want to find peace over this and enjoy what time you have.

I could give you the "well, everyone feels like life is unfair" line -- and it has some truth to it, but usually does not help much. In all honesty, you definitely have a hard road ahead of you and will need real courage to see it through.

While I have never had to deal with being terminally ill, I have had other issues that were very important to me where I had to give up my dreams. Some, I am still dealing with. They all ache; and sometimes I wonder how people survive with similar losses.

I think acceptance is one big issue. Your illness is unfair, but you can't do anything about it; like it or not, this IS your life, and it's all you've got.

So you might feel depressed and helpless and out of control, true, and in some ways you do not have control (i.e., it seems you cannot heal yourself)... but it's still your life to live, for better or worse, and you can make choices about the parts you do still control.

I really do hate homilies like, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Usually it's shared in a shallow way. But the truth of it is still real -- you have to work with what you do have, not with what you don't.

Have you told your family/friends about how you are feeling? Not in an angry way, but just all the frustration, and how bad you feel about feeling so bad about others? They're the main people in your world; if you can't share this stuff with them, you will feel even more alone and lost. You need their support on your journey.

Are there any ways you can explore your dreams through other means? Some people write stories or journal, or create artwork expressing their feelings. Many people have made their lives and others' lives meaningful by what they've share about the dark parts of their life journey.

Other people are in the same situation as you and need hope and companionship. Find some to share with, in person or online. Find ways to give what you can to others, so as to anchor yourself in this world as much as you can and feel like you are contributing. I know your physical strength and focus is aimed towards your illness, but whatever time you can focus on something else will really help.

As a parent with a child with chronic illness that can result in death, I can also imagine how terribly your own parents might be agonizing over what's happening with you. Good parents take these things hard and would willingly take your place if they could do so; instead, they have to watch you suffer and have no control to heal you either. They are in pain too -- as well as any siblings you might have.

Cling to those relationships, accept the fact that everyone is suffering over your illness. You are all together in this and do not have to be alone.

I'm really sorry that you're facing this, and that there's little anyone could say to make you feel better. But you've been heard, and people do care.

Blessings on you and the peace I pray for you to find in this tough situation.

Answer 5

I would like to know what condition you have.

Also your anger is being misdirected to the others around you.

The other people did not cause your illness, they are there to support you and help you.
Illness's just come about and no one can say when or why they do.
I have a condition called APECED.
Mine started from getting gassed in the military so how can I be mad at everyone. When It was a series of military events that caused it, not the people around me.

I understand the feeling of being cheated out of your lives experiences.

But right this very second you are being cheated out of the experience of being a millionaire. Are you mad over that too?

You are being cheated out of many things in life because there are no guarantees in life.

This is something that you have to deal with because YOU will cheat YOURSELF out of the love from the people around you.


:o)
Jerry

Answer 6

I got hit by a truck 7 months ago.
Traumatic brain injury.
I had high hopes things would get better,but conditions continue to spiral down hill.My 25 year old son ,my wife,and my granddaughter,lives with me.
I do not hate them,but I am angry most of the time.I get mad as hell at them for no reason at all.
I am worthless.
Yes,it is unfair,I try not to think about it.I just live in the hour I am in right now.
I know I will die,I will just be dead.
All I can tell you is live for today,do not worry about tomorrow.
What will be will be,there is nothing you can do to change it.
Beat of luck to you.

Answer 7

Everyone coming into this world, comes with a limited time period for their life. You have some more time left in this world kindly use each moment of your precious life as well as you can and realize that most people waste all their lives cribbing about their fate anyway - Provide strength to all those around you who may be suffering worse than you, who might have willingly traded place with you, see the goodness around you savor every moment of your life each single moment.

Answer 8

It is not the quantity but the Q.U.A.L.I.T.Y. of life that matters. many live a purposeless life of 9-5 not knowing what the **** they're here for. do you like fireworks. they are very very beautiful. many medical stories have miracles because the person's not willing to give in to fate and they out-manouevred their conditions. These brave people gave inspirations and hope to the many others around them. have set an example that changed the lives of millions.

I trully wish from the bottom of heart that you will get well. All of us here offer the utmost love for you.

Answer 9

i am so sorry for u, but u have to think positive, accept what u are and find what choices do u have, and how can u make urself happy, that's a better way than losing ur energy thinking about how unfair this is or what chances did u miss.
for sure u have chances, i just don't know u enough to talk about that.
just think positive and u will find ur ways, i know this is not easy, and i know saying is much better than doing, but at least a hope pushes u further. if i can do anything to help u let me know plz.
thanks and all the best.

Answer 10

This will probably not answer your question, that you will have to find in your heart and soul.I have read your past questions and I must say I greatly admire you.You are a very strong young lady you have shown a lot of courage and I am lucky just to have read a little about your life.All though I don't know you I will remember you.I will keep you in my thoughts.God Bless You.Your friend Woodstock

Answer 11

I'm proud of you that you've been fighting bravely against your disease. And thank you that you open your heart and made some questions for us here.
At this moment I'm thinking about how you are doing now..
If you can read (I know reading requires a lot energy), try a book of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
Her works about death and dying changed the world on terminal care. I'm sure that it will help you to find out where you are now and where to go(mental-medically).
I strongly recommend to your parents also.
You are on my prayer.