Ladies, does it bother you when...?

Question

Here in Sheffield, men often say 'love' when talking to women, and men for that matter. In shops, on buses, or just in the street; 'Hello, love', 'You alright, love?', 'That's £2.50, love'. Does this annoy you? Do you find it too personal? Are there are any other colloquialisms that annoy you? (Phsycology homework!)

Answer 1

Hun, Honey, Shug, Sugar - But, more than anything, I can't stand it when people of another race try to use slang (i.e. "girlfriend") when trying to get too familiar with you and it comes out sounding phony and outdated.

Answer 2

Everywhere has its colloquialisms for example Londoners call women 'treacle' or 'petal' or 'darling', people from wales say 'babe' a lot, people from up north generally say 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', or 'pet'. It all stems from a long time ago I think when women we subservient to men and so the whole trend of giving women this affectionate name took hold (notice how these names don't traditionally apply to men?). The less cynical could simply see it as what is nowdays a fairly socially accepted trend and something of endearment or affection. I really think it just depends on your perception and how open you are to the kindness of others. It can of course be used in a patronising way towards women also so I think you need to consider the context too. Hope that helps!

Answer 3

I don't think it does any harm. I live in Manchester and it's common for people to say 'love' when addressing someone here too, I grew up hearing it from my family and friends. I do think it's a generational thing though as you don't tend to find younger people saying it so much. I like hearing the regional variations like 'hen' in Scotland. I find that the most annoying colloquialism is 'innit'. I don't mean just the lazy way of saying 'isn't it' for example 'innit cold today'. I mean when it's added to the end of a sentence for no apparent reason - 'I'm going to the shops innit'.

Answer 4

I adore it, I am an American and have several friends over in the UK and we chat online and I love some of the pet names they have for me. I think what offends me isn't the cute names - what really gets to me is the sexually offensive terms that some American men use such as Babycakes, Sweet cheeks, Baby doll. Don't know what the real difference is, but I think alot of it isn't what is said but how it is said. I call everyone dearheart and I've never had anyone been offended - er well, at least no one has said anything to me.

Answer 5

Turn down the sensitivity, please. Years ago women were treated with no less respect than blacks. Our society has been great (not prefect), great at making for wide strides in many ares of accepting our neighbors as equals.

And just keep in mind how many "man" jokes go on the washing room, It's all our way to say that we appreciate and respect other, but we still find things about each other than we don't understand,

Answer 6

I think this sort of vocabulary is very familiar but also quite heart warming.
Of course it depends on the tone of voice but if used in a nice way i believe it should be appreciated.
Living in France I don't get that many pleasant conversations so be grateful the next time someone calls you love

Answer 7

I guess it does, sometimes - it depends on the context, frequency and tone of voice - I now work in London and on a daily basis am addressed as 'dear', 'love', 'girl', 'treacle'(?!?) and 'darlin'. It can grate somewhat and at times does seem offensive - it depends on when and how such terms are used, sometimes they are used as a way of being 'polite' in the same way at a restaurant/hotel someone might address you as Madam or Miss - however in certain circumstances it is definitely delivered with the intention to be patronising, at such times, it is. very. It is strange though how personal terms of endearment (such as darling and love) have become acceptable methods of addressing total strangers, and as someone else pointed out, its not always addressed to women, it can be just as patronising for a woman to address a man in the same way.

Answer 8

Hi, Im from Sheffield too and I don't mind it when someone says it to me, I even say it myself sometimes lol, but my bestfriend absolutely despises it and really kicks off at the other person, it can be embarressing at times, the words she really hates are :
bird - to which she responds does it look like have wings.
love, babe, chick, duck.
What I cant figure out is , is she being ruder by kicking off because the other person has not intentionally called her these things it's just something they naturally say but she is purposefully being nasty to them.
I think she is the rude one personally.

Answer 9

No, I like terms of endearment when they are used so honestly and genuinely - in fact it's one of the things I miss about living in Sheffield. I also love 'hen' and 'pet' which my Glaswegian friends use a lot.

Saying that, my dad is a 'sweetheart', 'darling', 'mate' kind of bloke so I guess I'm used to it.

Answer 10

It's the word Girl that irritates me. That's alright Girl. Or what's for lunch Girl......arghh. Hope the information you get will be helpful to you.

Good Luck Dear!

Oh yes and the word Doll...the person using it on me must be blind as I am no doll!

Of course they are all a figure of speech and should not be taken too personally.

Answer 11

Being called love doesn't bother me in the slightest I find it a rather sweet term of endearment, but I have to say I personally hate being called darlin' I just find it a bit too personal and in my experience it's often used in a derogatory sense. (I have to deal with a lot of old school business men who still consider women to be second class citizens!) so to contradict myself here! it's probably not what is said but in the manner it is said and by whom.