Does a girl living together with her bf for a long time means ther are not getting married ?

Question

I have started to live with my bf abt 2 yrs ago. We r 3 yrs together. I previously moved out before i got to know him.
I have been wondering as these days people around me are getting married and their gf dont live together with them.

Does this sentence "Why buy a cow when u have a milk free?" applies to men?

My bf is 35 and im 22. He is currently having problems with the business as the business is left down by his sick mother, and there are disputes over assets. Things are not that stable.

But honestly im not v happy and feel short changed for doing a role as a wife, doing the housework etc.. when im just a gf!

He doesnt get along with my family as there were misunderstanding ago and i personally feel he doesnt respect my mum or make an effort to be closer to my family. I admit im nt in best of terms with my own family. But nevertheless, his mother is not the best either and yet i have been treating her like my own.

I am wondering if he is even going to marry me!

Answer 1

You need to make some hard decisions, and let him know! If marriage is that important, let him know that youo want to move on to the next step OR you need to move on!

Answer 2

I think that living together may make it easier for you to know a person, however, it also makes men comfortable. They get all the benefits of having a wife in the home, but without actually having a wife. When people are comfortable, they do not like to change the current situation because it works for them. Soon you start to feel like everything you are doing is for nothing or like you are doing too much that is taken for granted because at the end of the day--you are still just a girlfriend but you have been endlessly feeling the shoes of another job description--WIFE. I have heard that saying, "Why buy the cow...." However, I do not think all milk is the same...Some brands just do not compare to others. Also, milk that sits on the shelf too long expires and becomes spoiled goods. I'm being silly, anyhow, also if y'all are having all these problems or issues before marriage--it probably is not the best time to say I Do...especially if you do not think you can continue to deal with these hassles if they continue throughout the marriage and drive you crazy. You will be one of those couples divorcing after two-five years. So you better make sure you are strong enough and able to deal with All the things that you hate or don't like about him and continue loving him for the rest of your lives.

Answer 3

hey honey! Good to know there's some people out there with the same age difference as me. I'm 21, and my bf is 34 (13 1/2 years apart). I'm a live in girlfriend as well, and we've been living together for the past year and one month. We've known eachother for just over a year and a half now. I wasn't on good terms with my family at first either, considering they kicked me out of the house and that's why I had to move in with him in the first place. Now everything is smoothed over. We all get along great..it took several months, but we got there. My bf and I have recently started "hinting" around more about getting married.. Honestly it's hard since he's been married twice before, and has one child from each previous marriage (2). But we're getting there, slowly.. Just hint, or downright ask your boyfriend "Will we ever get married, one of these days, when life settles down a little bit more?" .. I wouldn't advise just hopping over to the justice of the peace right now.. Things seem a little hectic over there, but just ..ask him. Honestly, that's what I had to do. I know if I didn't, I would have gone crazy. I hate not knowing what my boyfriend is planning, and thinking. You have to know if you're on the same page or not. so just ask him!!!

Answer 4

Love is beautiful but when it comes to marriage, both parties need sacrifices.

If he is the bread-winner, of course there will have to be the other to be the house-keeper. That's nothing like you don't wanna do house chores when you r not his wife. If you consider him as ur partner and you definitely want him live in a cozy warmly place, same as him, he loves you then he'll try give you a comfortable life without worrying the finance.

Marriage is all about that two people, i hope there won't be a family issue involved in any marriage(though it's hard). Try to have more communication and contact between him and ur family. If he cares about you, he 'll make effort for that.

i personally believe that he won't marry you at this time since he is undergoing a career difficulty. And what you should do is support him and be with him. Not force him to give you the anwer of ur future. you are still young compare to his age, why you so hurry into the marriage?

Answer 5

You choice to live with him and not be married and continue to stay in the relationship, just his girlfriend. Think real hard and take a good look. Marriage is between the two of you, good, bad, sad and happy. Do you see your married to him and loving him forever,You know the answer to your question. Maybe its not the answer you are looking for.? Have some time and a quite place, (have a picnic) talk with him, sharing feeling,dream, ones thoughts on the future. be honest and listen to what is being said. You will be able to make a decision on to continue with this relationship or move on. I have a question for you?
Why would you not feel short changed, if you were his wife. What are you wanting that will change by being his wife? is it so you feel better about yourself and your living situation. what ever you reasons or wants are put them on the table without any expectations.

Answer 6

Sorry but its true why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. He's most likily not going to get married to you. Like you said your doing ALL of the wife roles as it is why would he sign a legal document giving you the right to half of his stuff special when he's having money problem with his family? Your still very young, you should start dating. If he real loves you, he would let you date AND will marry you.

Answer 7

Well, you have said it. Maybe your BF becomes so comfortable that he doesn't ask to marry you. The fact that he is more than old enough to marry you and yet he is not asking you, is not a good sign. You better give him some space. If you can leave him, you better do it now. Much more, if he does not respect your family, I think that is the big question. If only your family is the one who dislikes him then it's okey but if it is your BF who does not like or respect your family then it is another thing. I think you can find a better person that your BF.

Answer 8

OK, the way your man is acting now is the way he is always going to act regardless of being married. You really need to talk to him and explain the way you feel about everything, be nice about his mother but let him know that that respect has to go both ways. If you don't wanna play housewife (do you ahve a job BTW???) then you still won't want to when you're married, tlak to him about maybe sharing the chores or if you can afford it get a houskeeper in maybe once a week just to give you a break.

You have to talk to him and don't forget, NO woman can change a man EVER.

Answer 9

The role of a wife isn't housework....Firstly.

Marriage is a legal bond between two people on equal levels. It is something people do to commit themselves to that other person. As if, they intend to spend the rest of their life with them.

The role of a Husband and Wife is simply to honour the vows made to each other.

Domestic chores should be equal, in any relationship. If the Man works, then the woman should contribute to the home maintenance. If both people work, a compromise in household duties should take place.

It sounds, though, you should not even be in the relationship - as you are unhappy.

For what it's worth, I have been living with my girlfriend for 18 months. We do intend to get married, as we take each other, and our families very seriously.

Answer 10

You both seem to be in a shaky relationship with financial issues and misunderstandings. Just because you have lived with him for 2 yrs does'nt mean you are tied to him forever. You're still young. I think you need to rethink your priorities and have an open discussion with your bf. Don't look for perfection. Everybody makes mistakes. But you must understand longterm and commited relationships are based on mutual respect, trust and love, no matter what. If you have serious doubts about this and don't sort it out straightaway, you'll face a miserable life.

Answer 11

Dear Dear Joan, Can't you see,he's simply "using" you to serve his needs, be it as a housemaid or as a whore in bed - sorry for being so blunt but that's just what he's doing. And because you seem to have loved him three years back, you are putting up with all this.

Sometimes, you do fall out of love too and perhaps that has been the case with you. Move on, young lady. He's never going to marry you and give you your place in society!